I am "straight" but really like this gay guy.

[broom10]

I am in college and met this awesomely cute guy in a tutor session. He is on of the tutors and he always invites me over to his house. So far we have hung out about 3 times. Everytime I go over his house we just talk about stuff and I just enjoy talking to him.

 

I have had many instances where I have questioned my sexuality b/c I feel like I have more attractions with guys. I was always afraid of letting these emotions run loose b/c my parents were homophobes.

 

Now back to this guy, he has made many references to him being gay and I know that is certain, b/c one of his old partners talked about him in front of me to make me jealous. On last week I told him I wanted to hang out with him and he came with a friend to my room. Once again we all talked but nothing happened. We walked around campus and his other friend left(who I believe was straight) finally left and my guy kept looking at me, I can always see him from my side. Well I was happy b/c I wanted to be with the guy along anyway.

 

We walked around campus just doing things to hang out. However, we stopped and looked at the stars and I could see him staring at me from the side as though he wanted something to happen. He has asked me to move in with him off campus but then he asked his other friend also, and we haven't even known each other for that long. He doesnt live along but with 5 other guys and one girl.

 

Then we went to look for another one of his friends who was upset that I was hanging out with the guy. He kept bragging about how good the guy I like was. His friend would run his hand over my friends leg and lean his head on him right in front of me. All the time I could see my guy looking at me.

 

He never really makes moves but has these looks on his face as though he wants me to make some move. I am not that really experienced at this type of stuff b/c I suppressed my feelings for such a long time. I just want to know if he is attracted to me, because I feel like he is really nice to me. I find myself thinking of him all the time. I want to be with him, but so many other guys are attracted to him and I feel like I have no chance. What should I do to let this guy know that I am really in to him?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I dont understand.. you claim to be "straight" but want to be with another guy? Hun, that isn't straight, you may be bisexual but definitely not straight.

 

No offense meant by my post

[robowarrior]

Pffft, if a gay person lets in a male friend then you know he has an eye on you. If he really has so many male friends, then you are just a ride for him. You know i've heard about this kind of gay males before, they have sex with so many straight men. Basically you are just afraid to say 'im gay' because of the stigmata that society puts on you. If you have to tell everyone im gay, especially your homophobic parents then all hell breaks loose and you are afraid of that. Grow some spine, and stand for what you believe in. If you want this guy why don't you take the initiative? Think of something exciting , something that arouses him and have a great time having sex, just don't make it a lust thing, remember this can become a complicated relationship because as you already said he's already very popular amongst the guys so he can pick on that, he's also more prone to catch a disease like that, such to which i state you'd only have safe sex with him. You are not straight, you are gay or bisexual at most. I would be carefull on coming out to your parents, that requires quite some tactic.

[agent1607307371]

People can define themselves as they wish and it's not up to us to police that. Sexual behaviour and sexual preference are not the same thing.

 

When I want someone to know I'm interested in them I talk to them, naturally, I also hold eye contact and touch them. Nothing nobody else hasn't done It sounds like he is into you, though whether he wants a relationship or just sex, I can't tell...

 

Talk to him about life as a gay man and coming out though, even if nothing else happens you I think it would be good for you to get it off your chest.

[broom10]

Thanks everyone. I know it sounds confusing that is why I put straight in quotes b/c I am just unsure. Robowarrior ur reply was very well appreciated, b/c I just dont wanna put myself out there to be hurt. I really am into this guy but I am afraid that if I open up to him he might not be into me as I thought he was. No I usually stand up for myself all the time, but this is really difficult b/c of just erasing and tearing down the things my parests have said about gay people. I never believed any of it, but it still makes me afraid. It is just this cycle in my head in which I wanna come out but I dont want to be labeled. There are too many labels that society places on people.

 

I can overcome the labels but I am already stressed out about college itself and this will present a battle with myself that could continously go on. I hope I make some sense at least. You are right I am gay but closeted. I just have to find the strength inside myself to decide what my next step will be..

[glegend]

Maybe your not really gay. Maybe you just have feelings for him or you could just be bisexual.

[broom10]

Yes I have feelings for him, but I want to be with him. I just dont wanna open up to him and end u p being another ride for him. We have so many things in common though and it is really comforting to talk to him. However, I always draw back when I wanna ask him about how he feels about me. I guess it is hard to read his body language, which I have been so good at. Now his body language poses a huge problem, I guess.

[Armane]

hey broom10....i'm very moved by your story, because i went through something like you did a year ago...but unfortunatley nothing really happeed. But being very optimistic for you i hope somethiing does happen for you. Its quite obvious he's interested in you and its great that you have things in common. If i were you i'd take it slow. Let him know you like him but very subtly and see if he responds.

[broom10]

Thanks so much armane just your reply means so much to me. I will definitely be sure you keep you up to date.

[Helen67]

Broom, I think it's great you are allowing your sexual preferences to surface!

 

My concern is about this guy, he seems to be pretty secure in his sexuality, and may have had a few partners already. You obviously like him alot, but I'm scared you could become too attached to him, if you decide to lose your *virginity* to him. If you do make him the *one*, just bear in mind he may not want a steady relationship with you.

 

Aside from that, PLEASE practise safe sex, you do not know his background enough!

 

Good luck!

[FoxLocke]

Hi Broom,

 

I replied to you message...

 

I think I pretty much agree with everyone on the thread...

 

1.) I think it is wonderful that you are allowing your true feelings to surface...

 

However...

 

2.) Don't just fall for the first gay male you see. While this guy maybe a good friend you have to wonder whether or not he is romance material. This could, potentially, be your first and I think--judging from your message--that you would be really devastated if he just treated you like a fling.

 

I think you should get to know him more as a friend, and if things lead to romance then good on you...

[broom10]

Unfortunately I found out that he has a girlfriend. Now I am just confused!

[Rabican]

I dont understand.. you claim to be "straight" but want to be with another guy? Hun, that isn't straight, you may be bisexual but definitely not straight.

 

No offense meant by my post

 

Ok im going to make this quick... hit and run in the gay/lesbian forum... I saw the thread on the main page and thought... Sorry bro its either your gay, or your straight.

 

Im straight. I look at the idea of being with another man, with the same enthusiasm that I would look at cutting off my own foot (did you see the movie saw)? Ya, thats how I look at it.

 

Anyways, What im saying is its not possible to be 'straight' and be interested in men. Its like saying its not raining out... when its raining out. Its just not possible.

 

Onto your problem, just tell the guy you are interested. Let the chips fall where they may.

[someguy1976]

Stop toying around, you want him, it's pretty obvious he is curious about you. Just ask him "Do you want to fool around?" Or better yet, ask him over, and when he gets there be in nothing but a half open bathrobe, and see where that goes. Or, you could be in a pair of tight boxer briefs, and that's all. When you open the door, you could make sure that you have a partial erection, and well...I am sure that you will take care of it from there. The only way to gain "experience" is to practice, but practice safely.