Am I on my way back to being anerexic?

[perfectliljewel]

i used to be anerexic but i got over it and i feel a lot of the thoughts that i used to think coming back. ive been watching what i eat a lot and i freak out if i gain a pound. i dont know what to do. my boyfriend said that i control what i do and who i am.

 

what do i do??

 

 

Please help!

~Jewels~

[Lily04]

hmm... well I do the same (watch what I eat a lot & freak out if I gain a lb... work out every day, etc.) but wouldn't consider myself anorexic. On your *way* to becoming anorexic? Possibly... ESPECIALLY if you already were anorexic, I think you have to be very careful. Did you/are you seeking counselling to help you get back on track? I think that's really important... you need to have a positive image of yourself and learn to love yourself, regardless of weight.

 

My definition of 'becoming anorexic' is forcing yourself to hardly eat anything at all... and that isn't me, so that is why I wouldn't consider myself anorexic. however, I recently took Stanford University's quiz for "how likely are you to becoming anorexic?" (or something like that... do a search if you want, I'm sure it'll come up) and I got "very likely". I imagine you would as well, but considering that you have a history, as I said, I'd be wary and make sure you're really watching yourself and making sure you don't fall back into old patterns.

 

The big flaw I see with the Stanford quiz, however, is that almost *all* (if not all the questions) were asking about your self-image and just general thought patterns. i.e. "do you freak out if you gain a lb." (yes). do you really watch what you eat (yes), do you feel insecure in a bathing suit (yes, but doesn't everyone?) umm... I did this 2 weeks ago so I sorta forget the rest, but there were no questions like "I hardly eat anything all day" or "I eat less than 200 calories/day" (which some would define as anorexia.) Another question was like "if you eat something that is high in sugar you get very anxious and have to work out immediately" (yes for me.)

 

So since I answered yes to I think 15/19 questions or something like that, they said I was very likely. I imagine you'd be the same... but the REAL distinction here isn't so much whether you "feel" bad about eating (which was another question) but whether you literally restrict your diet to the extent that you're becoming unhealthily skinny (which isn't me.) To me, that is the difference b/w people approaching, or who don't have anorexia & people who have anorexia.

 

How is your diet now? Do you hardly eat anything (which is really not healthy at all and if so, you should definitely seek help!!!)

 

my diet is pretty much this:

 

- cereal for breakfast

- sandwhich for lunch

- salad for dinner

 

with fruit/yogurt & granola bars in between as snacks. and when I get hungry I respond by eating healthy food. If you don't eat when you're hungry that's also a sign that you're becoming anorexic.

 

Hope that helped!!! I also really hope you aren't becoming anorexia... there's so much pressure in today's society to be skinny, it really sucks. But you don't need it to be beautiful... just remember that!

 

Lily

[Lily04]

I found the quiz -- How likely are you to become anorexic?

 

link removed

[BeStrongBeHappy]

did you ever get formally diagnosed as anorectic before, or get treatment for it? if so, you should probably go back to your therapist for a while to see what is making you repeat old patterns.

 

lots of people worry about their weight, but have you actually stopped eating nutritious food, or cut back so much it is unhealthy and is you weight dropping below normal?

 

if so, please see a therapist before it gets serious.

[Lily04]

 

lots of people worry about their weight, but have you actually stopped eating nutritious food, or cut back so much it is unhealthy and is you weight dropping below normal?

 

if so, please see a therapist before it gets serious.

 

how do u know if it's 'unhealthy' or 'below normal'? i just saw one of my old friends today who I haven't seen in a year and she looked at me and was like 'god Lily, you're soo skinny!' she almost looked a bit disgusted by it, but I think she was just jealous like most of my girl friends are....I basically have model proportions i'd say but aren't so skinny at all that it looks unhealthy in my opinion. Even my mom says that I look fine now, but if I lost about 5-10 lbs. then it'd get worrisome. But "below normal" and "unhealthy" are such relative terms, especially for someone who is approaching or is anorexic... they will always think they're "above normal" even when they're not so you can't really expect them to judge objectively.

[RayKay]

I think when they use the term below normal, they are referring to the healthy body weight for height/frame, sometimes using BMI measurements just to get a general idea because if you are falling below 18 BMI, you are getting into an unhealthy range. It is just a "guideline" but there are indicators when you are "below healthy/normal weight" they can use, as well as other signs that come with anorexia itself.

 

Anyway, to the OP. Were you ever diagnosed previously? Those whom have had eating disorders do have to make conscious effort to avoid triggers and this is part of the therapy/treatment that occurs during your initial treatments. Did you ever get treatment? Like any "addiction" or illness, it can be a lifelong issue you need to be aware of and to have the tools to deal with.

 

I was anorexic, and recovered from it. But, I still know that I have triggers. I do maintain a healthy lifestyle and am very active and eat healthy, but I focus more on my body's strength than it's weight, so even though I do those things, I do not deprive myself of nutrition I need. So being healthy and paying attention to what you eat is not in itself indicative of anorexia, however freaking out over a lb may be indicative of more as we ALL fluctuate lb here and there during the DAY, never mind over the month as our hydration changes, etc.

 

I think it is important to remember that the "diagnosis" of anorexia is not just restricting food, there is a lot more to it then that. So simply because you are not "drastically thin" does not mean you are not anorexic as the thought patterns do precede the weight loss and restrictions. I really would suggest that you do seek medical treatment and therapy to learn how to handle these triggers and stress in ways that don't harm your body and mind the way anorexia does.

[Lily04]

Thanks Raykay (although I believe your reply was more for the OP?)

 

I just checked my BMI and it's 18.7 so it is within the 'healthy' range. although with the way i've been eating lately due to stress it'll probably become 19 soon...

 

I didn't know you suffered from anorexia but I'm glad you were able to overcome it!! I think perfectionism is really related to it... that's definitely why I am so concerned with my weight anyway. Also because last year... (and up until this fall really) I just looked at pictures of myself and would *always* see imperfections... like way too much fat on my theighs, etc... I was never content with myself.

 

And right now, for the first time I actually feel happy. I feel healthy. I really actually like the way I look, and it's the first time ever I can say I don't feel like I need to lose weight. It is actually an accomplishment for me. Whereas some people may say that I look underweight, most can also acknowledge that I don't look unhealthily underweight (i.e. anorexic/bony) so it's OK. I think it's important to get to the point where you can recognize the difference...

 

The only thing that really scares me now is gaining weight. And I think that may be somewhat unhealthy... like some people if they gain 1-2 lbs. are like 'ok, that's fine, whatever...it's only 2 lbs." but for me I will freak out and try not to eat properly for days if necessary...and really push myself at the gym. It's like I'm so content with where I am now, that anything above really scares me. I'm not sure that's so healthy either... I just hate the thought of gaining any weight at all...

[Lily04]

oh and OP, sorry for hijacking your thread... I just found the question somewhat relevent for myself because so many people in my family/friends are saying i am too skinny and then when I took that quiz and got 'very likely' to be anorexic or whatever, i started to question the same thing... I think I'm fine though although I do have extreme perfectionism and am seeing a psychologist for it currently, so I wouldn't be surprised if I have a similar problem as yourself.

 

Please tell us more about why you think you're anorexic if you want... tell us your concerns and we'll try to help! I don't want to take over this thread either...

 

lily

[perfectliljewel]

well lets see im 5'1ish and i weigh between 90-95lbs. no i was not diagnosed but i would starve myself for weeks at a time and when i ate it wasnt much, i constantly thought i was fat even though i was about the same height and weighed maybe 80lbs or less and i would freak out if i gained a lb i always thought everyone looked prettier than me. no i am not seeking "professional" help, me and professional helpers dont really see eye to eye, my boyfriend is a big help though.

 

as for the positive image of myself. i actually tell my boyfriend that he should do something(i.e buy me something expensive for x-mas or something) because im georgous, and i brag about being able to sing, train/ride horses better than a lot of people i know and things like that. so its not like i dont think i amount to anything thats something i have been working on for a really long time but lately i am a bit uncomfortable with myself and ive been doing A LOT of sit-ups and push ups and going on 2hr long runs/walks and looking at the nutritional facts on the back of foods and not eating them if the cals. are to high or whatever.

 

what else do you need to know?

[perfectliljewel]

i just took that quiz... i have a moderate risk and my BMI is 17.9....