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Mixed Signals From A Friend


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I'll begin at the beginning. I've Known this girl for about a year and I immediately had an interest in her. I was about to ask her on a date, when a friend who had known her longer beat me to the punch. They have been dating since then and I have become good friends with both of them. Last night we got together with some other friends for dinner and had a pretty good time, except that the guy kept saying mean things and wise cracks. I defended the girl as she had done nothing to deserve the abuse. She smiled at me broadly and said "Thank you, you're going to make some girl very happy someday." Her sister then commented on what a nice guy I was and she agreed. I was helping her in the kitchen a little later while everyone else was in the living room, and as I was exiting the kitchen I could have sworn I heard her say "If you want to ask me out to a movie or something that's okay." I immediately backtracked and said "what?" her face just got red and she said "oh, never mind." A little later she had to go to the store and I offered to give her a ride. In the car we started talking, (we always found it really easy to talk to each other, like we're on the same wavelength) After a little while she asked if she could confide in me I told her she could tell me anything, and she got to talking about her boyfriend and his mother (they've become a support system for each other). she told me how unhappy she is with the way her boyfriend is and asked for advice on what to do. She also said a few times that she still loved him, but it sounded forced like she was trying to convince herself. Now I was in a conundrum. The part of me that was deeply attracted to her wanted to tell her to dump him. But I was also his friend, so I ended up telling her that she needed to do what was best for her and if she wasn't happy, she needed to find a situation where she was (very vague actually). At the end of the night she said goodbye to every body. She gave every one else a "Friend Hug", with one arm because she was holding something, and when it was my turn last she actually put down what she was holding and gave me a tight two-armed hug and then everyone dispersed and went home. Please, someone help me, I'm very confused on what I should do next. Thank you

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I would be careful here. I wouldn't be surprised if you were already in the friendzone. First, she started telling you her problems, thats not a good sign. 2nd, she sees you as a nice guy, which is never good. The whole movie thing kind of throws me off a little. I wouldn't go out with her while she is with another guy, unless you just want to be friends. If she mentions something like that again, you might want to say you dont date girls that have boyfriends, and do this is a funny way with a smirk on your face.


If she does break up with him, you want to make sure your not just a rebound because that would be worse then never getting into a relationship with her.


I would just go with the flow and be a fun person. Don't be her therapist. Also, since you are friends with both of them, be careful with what kind of advice you give. Since you like her, I personally wouldn't give any advice unless its to help her work things out.

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  • 5 months later...

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