Herbs to decrease male libido?

[Snapnite]

. .

[cured]

Can't help but throw my 2 cents in. I'm a 57 year old male that until a year ago had a sex drive that threatened my marriage. My wife of 54 just shut off a few years ago and lost all interests. ALL interest. Didn't want to have any of her 5 senses assaulted with anything sexaul. I tried everything in the book and invented some that weren't in the book to get her to come around again. Funny thing is she started dressing really hot about the same time. Naturally I just knew she was having an affair, but she wasn't. She just decided that since she didn't care for sex anymore she could focus on looking really nice. Never in my mind did I think the two were incompatible. But alas, I now had a really hot looking wife who had no interest in sex. I turned to porn and taking care of business daily. Only made it worse. More over, it made my wife really mad. The thought that I would spend time doing such really drove her over the edge. I thought of having affairs but I really love her and don't see my life anyone else.

 

Well, one day about 2 years ago she solved the problem for me or us I should say. She purchased one of those plastic things that you put over your parts and it keeps you from touching things and positively keeps you from having an orgasm. She introduced me to the concept and I almost had an orgasm at jsut the thought of my wife even saying the word sex. I can't say I was overly excited about the idea of her locking away the only source of sexual gratification I had but to help our marriage I gave it a try. It took a while to get used to. Then I went 2 weeks. Then 2 months. It's been on for almost 2 years now. Not one orgasm. She cleans it weekly but I am never allowed to touch things during this. Like an alcholic can never have another drink.

 

And a funny thing happened. After about a year of no orgasm, I forgot about sex. I no longer desired an orgasm. I no longer thought of sex. I no longer had a erection when she cleaned it. After a little over 2 years she let me out and we both tried to make it work. I tired to get my desire back and did a little. But it had no desire. Nothing. Not to mention the fact that it had shrunk from what was average to more than average to less than an inch over the two years. The plastic thing went back on, the lock closed, the key hid.

 

I know this is not for everyone, but hey, it worked for us, possibly saved our marriage and with sex out of the way, we have really become closer in other ways.

 

Cured

[DMJack92]

I know you all have great ideas, but my situation is very extreme. I have lived a long-distance relationship with my wife for 3 years. She lives in Mexico and can not become a citizen of the US, so I am screwed. ](*,) I can't have sex period, so I keep looking at porn and masturbating once a week minimum. Of course, in the summer I do it more frequently til my penis doesn't look very good anymore. Anyway, I would love to quit my sexual desires, so I can stop looking at porn and masturbating. Not just to keep my mind pointing the right direction and to give my wife the right attention if I see her someday over the rainbow, but also for religious purposes. I am pretty much a grandmaster masturbater for almost 19 years. I am pretty much a pro at it by now - unfortunately. :sad:

[DMJack92]

That is a good suggestion. I may try that idea. I am bipolar anyway, so it wouldn't really bother me anyway. Sometimes, I am, however, tempted to get back to Zyprexa, but I don't want to because it causes extreme weight gain (which made me extremely depressed last time). I have not taken med's for over a year so far.

[TruthChaser]

Saw palmetto is an herbal extract that will decrease libido with few side effect!

 

I was in the same boat as you people with a wife that would have sex with me two or three times a week, but I wanted much more, every day in fact (horny almost all the time and even masterbated at work sometimes because it was to much ). It was hard being rejected but I needed it. I started taking saw palmetto and I noticed a huge differance within 2 days. Now she comes onto me, lol, but still only about 2 times a week, but that is perfect. I have also noticed a decrease in road rage and and just general temper. I feel normal, more or less. I do feel less happy than I did before about things, but not to much.

[allisone]

Hi All,

 

Some suggestions.

 

my issue is that I have a gf who won't have sex before marriage. I'd be happy to marry her, but she doesn't want to rush into it. Also, from a spiritual perspective, thinking about sex all the time is not very helpful. Masturbation doesn't help for long - the thoughts keep on coming back, thanks mainly due to societal stimulation. (Someone also posted a note that masturbation increases testosterone - not helpful.) I tried 'chastity' for a while, but after about 10 days couldn't handle it any more. Pushing away sexual thoughts definitely does help. Affirmations like 'I don't want this', 'I don't need this' or 'This is not who I am' help without lowering libido in the right situation. Also, when a sexy woman comes into my field of vision, I think to myself "I am not attracted by this". It really does work - try it!

 

I have found another helpful technique which does not involve taking anything - it's called EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique. It involves tapping on acupressure points and can be used for just about anything - emotional to physical issues. An internet search will bring up a number of sites. The best site is that of EFTs founder Gary Craig.

 

Good luck to all.

[leonalexander]

I need help because for reasons I don't wont to get into how do I kill my sex drive I am 37 years old male and in good health. But the problem is that I take test for working out. But I am looking for something natural that I can take I was taking anti depressants and they worked good but the problem is that they are not natural and I got hoked on them. So I am looking for something natural for me to take. Before any one say it me taking test will hurt the fact that I don't wont to have a sex drive. But when I was on the anti depressants it work like a charm. So I know there something out there over the counter that I can get that will help.

[Fantanos]

I was originally just reading this forum for help and too see if others were experiencing the same issues (which you are) and I had no intentions of posting. After I read this I had to reply.. I was in shock.

 

I agree with so much advice in this thread, there are some great ideas and ideas that will help if you can follow them. However I feel this idea is ridiculous. I am very happy you found your cure and I don't want you to take this harsh. But as a believer in God and Bible and man and woman being married is a special thing and a strong sexual relationship is important. Your wife locking your wiener away for two years is not a cure, but cruel. She needs to understand your desires and help you with them and you need to do the same. I understand you are cured and my advise would do no good but to anyone else reading this I do not feel this is right by any means.

 

I have sexual issues that I haven't developed a cure for yet. I have a girl friend of over 3 years that is a soon to be fiance and wife, I love her to death. We average 3 times a week right now which can be disappointing to me but after reading this I guess this is good. There are some weeks it is one time and some we might get lucky and go four.... so 3 is our average. I still have trouble because I want to do it more but I am learning this is part of life and I need to figure out how to fix it. She orgasms every time (not fake) which makes we feel good. The downfall is she doesn't like trying anything new or changing it up and I do. Because of this I am not always satisfied after we do it, I lay there thinking about what we can do different the next time... then I realize next time could be days away and I am ready to go again. So for the next few days I am thinking about it, taking care of myself a few times a day to help cope. A few days go by and she is not interested do I get frustrated and we fight. I need to stop this and this is why I am here.

 

Right when I think I have her figured out on what turns her on I am wrong, it changes all the time. I do a lot in the relationship which I have slacked off in the past and just now got better. I cook dinner 4 out of the 5 nights a week, I clean up, I do laundry, I get up and pack her lunch and make her coffee, we plan things too look forward too. This stuff has all helped a lot and I recommend this to anyone not doing this now. If your girl is happy, truly happy I *think* you will be taken care of. Baby your lady and take care of her, go out of your way and do things for her, flowers, clean her car, surprises. All these things will help. I know though, if you are sexually frustrated that it is very tough to do this because deep down you are angry, right? I get like this and I am trying to stop it... I think it is helping.

 

I am going to try to ease my mind of the sexual thoughts and desires. Instead of stopping cold turkey I am going to ease out of it... going from taking care of myself 3-4 times a day to twice for now. Trying to not use porn and use my mind to get me away from porn. I don't know if this is doable or not but I need something to save my relationship. I am praying about it too and asking that God help sure me us this but to give us a good sexual relationship in the future. I know this is sexual impurity too which I am facing the guilt for this....

 

I lay awake at night, can't sleep and wake up in the mood everyday like you guys. It is awful, I hate it and it can put you in the worst mood, increase anger and shorting your temper. I take a lot of things out on co-worked and family from being sexually aggravated. I am working on this and trying to tell myself this is not normal.

 

One suggestion I found was for your wife/women to read "Every Man's Battle" to help her understand why we are like this. Sex is a powerful thing and is used everywhere for advertising. Young girls in the street are walking around with their cheeks hanging out of their skirt, every restaurant anymore has beautiful waitresses wearing little clothing, TV, movies. This stuff all turns us own instantly and has us thinking for days. Our women don't want us to cheat but they don't always help either? I think this is what frustrates me the most. I do a lot of things for my girl I don't enjoy and I guess I expect that in return in this area.

 

Good luck to us all.

[Niere]

Oh man just get laid already. If you are a girl you can have all the sex you want / need. Plenty of guys will help you out there. But as a man, well --- women are not so accommodating. Wish it were so I wouldn't need to reduce my libido but the distraction and frustration of being sexually stimulated with no release in site is too much to handle. Ether women have to let down the defense or I need to kill my sex drive. I think the latter is more likely.

 

It's not always that easy for us girls who are in committed relationships yet our drives exceed that of our significant others. Where are the suggestions for ways that will reduce our drives?

[Benevolent1]

Niere - I am a guy, but I understand how you feel. It's not easy for anyone in that situation, male or female.

 

I am in my mid-30's with three kids, and still have a similar problem. My wife has seemed to completely shut off interest in sex. I wish I could do the same, but I can't, and think about it quite often. I feel that masturbating is not a solution for me because it just "feeds" the sex drive. In fact, I don't really feel like my sex drive has decreased over the years, so it means that my wife and I are at opposite extremes of the spectrum, which makes it quite difficult for me. I don't want to decrease my sex drive only because she is not interested in it anymore, but also because I feel that it distracts me quite often during the day thinking about it and "dealing" with it. Obviously, in the seldom times I do have sex it quashes my desire for the day, but again, it is VERY seldom that I have sex.

 

I am still looking for a solution - any new ideas out there? Please feel free to share.

[linux09876]

Seems like I am not alone. Thank you all for sharing your experience and for the wonderful advice.

 

About me, I am 30 years old, and married.

 

Staying just 1 week away from my wife affects me. I tend to look at porn on my computer and get carried away easily. It affects my work, social and religious life.

It is hard to get rid of these desires, even after marriage, I tend to look at other women.

 

When I used to be single (3 years ago) and living independently, I got rid of TV and Internet as I tried to stay away from sexually stimulating images. During that time I could hold my desire for up to couple of weeks.

 

Currently I am living in a joint family system (with parents, uncle, aunt, wife etc), which is very common in Eastern countries. At home there is television, Internet and weekly issue of women magazine. Its like sexually stimulating images are pounding on my head because of these sources and its really hard to explain these issues to family.

 

Furthermore I am also tempted by food and tend to eat all type of junk food, especially chocolate. I know that with emptier stomach there is less sexual urge. Hopefully I will try to diet more.

 

Here are few points I have experienced in my life that resulted in less sexual urges:

1. Staying away from sexually stimulating images, advertisement, songs, jokes, women, language, abuses, places etc.

2. Using toilet well in time for excretion of body waste.

3. Eating less food.

4. Taking less stress (work and home related).

5. Helping someone.

6. Going outdoors to play sports with friends or going for camping or picnic. Also staying out doors, indulging in safe activities and come home after total exhaustion.

8. Keeping my self constantly busy in healthy activities...

 

My current weakness is my work is on laptop and I need Internet to work. Simply with one click I get carried away. I generally try to work in public place at home, but laptop is easier to carry to private place, especially when wife is not around. I probably need to find work that has nothing to do with computers, or find work where I have to spend majority of my time outdoors.

 

Furthermore, I have also come to conclusion that

1. Marriage need to take place early in life, in order to avoid other form of sexual desires.

2. Wife should not say no to sex as much as possible, except if there is some genuine reason/concern, as men can't hold this desire in them.

 

Do pray for me.

 

Thanks

[erikson]

I fully agree you need to talk to your wife and tell her how you feel and that marriage is a partnership and if shes not willing to pull her own weight that you have a big problem

[volta]

Hi everyone, I used to have the same problem until I came accross this great method. You see I am a Muslim and what we basically do to decrease libido is we fast. Islamic fasting goes like this: you don't eat or drink anything ( even water ) plus you don't have sex (or masturbate) from sunrise to sunset. you do this two or three times a week and you'll find that your sex drive is significantly reduced that you'll barely even think about sex anymore. This method basically comes from an advise of prophet Muhammad that says:

"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. abstain from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Also, another thing that I found really helps is when you do eat avoid fatty foods and avoid eating too much.

That's it, I hope this helps someone. I know it helped me, A LOT.

[scallum]

geez... you guys complaining about 2-3 times a week...

Ive kept track for the past couple of years...check this out

Im a married man...married 5 years...38 years old...in shape, outgoing, positive guy

Wife is angry a lot with the world...but also incredibly loving to her family and me (just not physically

here is my sex life in a nut shell

 

2012 - present

# of times having intercourse: 1

# of times she has performed oral sex on me: 0

# of times she has let me perform oral sex on her: 1

 

2011

# of times having intercourse: 10

# of times she has performed oral sex on me: 4

# of times she has let me perform oral sex on her: 1

 

2010

# of times having intercourse: 10

# of times she has performed oral sex on me: 4

# of times she has let me perform oral sex on her: 2

 

yes thats right...you read the #s correctly

 

Before we got married, the sex was more regular...by that I mean monthly...so 12 times instead of 10

 

Before I dated her, I was having quite a bit of sex...way closer to the 2-3 times a week you guys are complaining about...

I wish for that now

 

I cant get away from the porn...and part of me is OK with it...I really dont think anything is going to change is our sex life...I have tried EVERYTHING!!!

I think that is just who she is...and I love her...no intentions of leaving or cheating...thats not how I roll...

its not her fault if she doesnt want sex right?

 

am I crazy to think that?

 

I just gotta find a way to get rid of my sex drive and everything will be fine...

[exreverend]

I agree lonestriker, very helpful to not be alone

 

I too have a wife with this problem. The sex has become less than monthly and far less than fun because it hurts her. There is no fun in that. How can I enjoy myself when she is hurting? Oral is NOT going to happen though I really did enjoy it the couple of times it was tried. She won't use her hands on me either. I really love giving oral but she hates the idea of giving it, and won't let me give her either, so we are left with the one painful method that no longer works. I am going to try the licorice and look into Saw Palmetto too. At this point if I could totally shut off my sex drive, I think my life would be a lot happier.

 

Wow guys, thanks a lot, reading this thread has helped me a lot.

 

Perhaps a shared internet site for us out there should be setup? I'd love to have this fix of "you are not alone out there, other people have the same problem" as part of my browsing routine

 

My wife has severe vaginismus - i.e the fear of anything in that area. We couldn't get it done until after a year of marriage... Then we'd rarely be able to do it for months on end - sometimes we try and call it off because she resists way too much and says it is paintful, even as she says she wants it. The stress and disappointment has become way unbearable.

[Madkap77]

I'm 17 year old and my high sex drive is giving extreme anxiety. I am going to university to become a doctor and to top that off I have an extremely religious family. I try and convince myself not to have sex but I always wind up with doing it anyways and the next day im so worried about what would happen if I got her pregnant. Because of this most of my sexual partners are one night stands but I'm constantly in fear of getting someone pregnant. I've tried to convince myself not to have sex but when I start to drink there is not stopping me. The last thing I need is to have my life flipped upside down and my dreams crushed by getting someone I don't even like pregnant..watching porn doesn't help It only makes it worse I can't go 10 minutes without having a sexual urge, and when I'm having sex I'm ready to go again 10 minutes after i ejaculate, in gettin desperate I need help ASAP!

[theprof63]

It's staggering how reading the above, many other men are in the same position, I too have a high sex drive and a wife with a rather low one, and the best (but no means perfect) solution we have found for us is the chastity device approach others mentioned, where the offending organ is basically locked away and only comes out when she's in the mood, which is maybe about once a month or so. Once past the initial period of frustration my mind starts to accept that I can't pleasure myself and looking at sexy images just makes things a bit uncomfortable down there, so best not to. It just helps to concentrate the mind on other things. Finding the right device and sizing can take a few attempts though, but for me this is preferable to popping a load of pills with possible undesirable side effects. Might not work for everyone but worth considering.

[manwithnoname]

hilarious remedies especially booberrys's balls in ice water while visualizing your gran in pants... that made me laugh my nuts off!... hey an instant cure lol

jokes aside a high sex drive is a burden at times and a remedy to switch it off temporally would make the world a much leveler playing field...

[bobnorth]

Black Licorice and Blood Pressure meds = bad combination. For example if taking Lisinopril, Black Licorice can cause complications. I love black licorice and was wondering where the sudden persistent heart palpitations were coming from. Unwittingly I had broken a big rule of combining black licorice and BP meds.

[Brian Hall]

anti-depressants do not work to help lower it, I am on them for PTSD & Depression for 8 years, and still it is out of control.