Tired

[lilgizmo]

I need help, here is my situation I have been in a relationship for 3 years in those three years my boyfriend has cheated on me three times. I have managed to find out about it by going through his things. I have repeatedly taken him back either because I am in love or just stupid which ever the case is. Everytime he has promised to never do it agian, and that he is sorry. Yet being that he is a repeat offender I have a hard time trusting him. I continue to still go through his things, phone, computer and he gets upset at me for going through "his" things, but I can't stop because of times before. I am constantly paronoid and worried. I know I should of never given him as many chances as I have, but love makes you do stupid things. I love him, but at the same time hate him for making me feel and hurt this way. I don't want the relationship to end, but I am tired of being the fool and constantly worring about if it will happen again. I love him which makes this situation even harder. I need some advice please help. What are your thoughts.

[kath123]

i think you need to get out of this relationship right now!!

He will never change his ways and that is staring you in the face.

How could he continue to hurt you like this if he loved you.

I've just been cheated on (and dumped) by my partner of ten years.we have two children and everyone is suffering not just me.

Get out now before you get into the same position as me,

You deserve so much more than this person is giving you,but i suspect you already know this.you just need the courage to end it.

Be strong for yourself and your future.

[Tigris]

I think you've given him enough chances in the past and it's time to say NO MORE, IT'S OVER!

 

He has no respect for you, plus he's making you look like a fool.

[SeaBisquit]

i agree with tigris he's making a fool out of you. three times that alot of forgiveness. most people don't forgive the first time cheating. your allowing it to happen.

[yeawutever]

He clearly has no respect for me, hardly if anything, time to either pack your bags and leave him or pack his bags and throw him to the curb.

[New_Horizons]

Dump him and find a nice guy who respects you, loves you and means it. There are plenty of single nice guys out there who deserve a girl like you.

[ZoeMatthews]

He doesn't respect you babes, and if you keep taking him back he never will. I had a boyfriend who kept using me as a door mat...and I let him.

 

I stopped it by cutting him out of my life forever. Haven't contacted or seen him in over 3 years.

 

Take the right steps, you will feel better.

 

Z.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

fidelity is obviously important to you because you are so upset all the time and worried that he won't live up to that... and infidelity is obviously something that he has no problem with because he has already done it 3 times in 3 years!

 

so this is a fundamental difference in values that i sadly think you will never be able to overcome... you have a right to live without anxiety and constant worry, and you also need to worry about whether he is out there sleeping with people and will give you an STD or HIV in addition to a bunch of heartache...

 

you have a capacity to love, we often confuse our own capacity to love with the worthiness of our love object... by that i mean, you are taking your good love and throwing it away on someone who doesn't deserve it.. you feel like he is the one for you, but obviously he is the one for everyone else (other women) too...

 

please don't torture yourself longer with this. unless you are willing to truly give up fidelity as a requirement to be happy, this guy will just keep doing what he's been doing, and you'll keep getting what you've been getting, which is an untrustworthy cheater...

 

love and respect yourself, and your own capacity to love, give that love to someone who deserves it... always painful to break an attachment, but a guy who cheats this much is almost guaranteed to leave you some day for some other woman when you demand too much from him, so why not nip it in the bud before he totally destroys your love...

[Rabican]

If he truly loved you, and respected you he would be more than willing to let you go through his things. He should understand the mistake he made, and the damage it caused. At this point his entire being, entire existence, his focus in your relationship should be making you trust him again, and making sure he never hurts you again. These problems are his fault, if he cant/ wont make it right... then he never will.

 

If he isnt bending over backwards and walking on hot coals to prove his undying love and worth to you... then he isnt truly sorry and will most likely do it again. Tell him to take a hike, and find someone better.