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I think my bf is using me for sex ...?


shau_nee
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hi, I met my bf about three weeks ago and things have been moving kinda fast . He already said he wants this to be a long term relationship and wants to move in together in a few months. I don't really trust him because he saying everything to fast. He also says that if I want to be in a relationship with him that I better enjoy sex because he likes it alot. I have already slept with him but I have been cutting him off to see if he will stick around. We had sex twice and both times he left right after we had sex and went home. He told me yesterday that he still comes around even though he knows he is not going to get sex but I kinda don't believe him. How can I know for sure. He does come to my house everyday after work but we don't really do much together.

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Seems he's pretty centred on the sexual issues of a relationship. There needs to be a balance (for most people at least) if it's going to be a fulfilling enjoyable experience. I can't say that I would see the relationship you and he have as headed in that direction to be honest. Be cautious and don't get yourself hurt.

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Obviously, his actions and words are making you very uncomfortable. That's not a good sign. Usually, when we meet someone who we feel safe and secure with, those negative feelings simply aren't there.

 

I agree with you, his behavior is suspect. I would be wary of anyone who tells me he wants to move in with me when he barely knows me. Life is not like the movies, it actually takes time to get to know someone.

 

Sounds like you're doing the right things to really "test" his sincerity. Keep it up, and if you find you really don't think you can trust him, then trust your own intuition and terminate the relationship. Or, if he breaks it off when he's not getting what he wants, don't chase after him.

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stop having sex with him and see how he acts.. seem to me he just wants booty and thats it. do u guys go out on dates? like movies...dinners??

 

i been used for sex too and this seems like it....better watch out or leave the relationship .... u dont want to be a victim of being *used* for a personal pleasure... no good!

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Always trust your gut feeling. Your gut never lies to you, you just have to learn to listen and hear what it says very clearly.

The more you excercise listenning to your gut.. the easier it becomes to understand what you gut feeling says.

It's clear to me that there are red flags here that triggers your gut to say " ohoh".. and you should trust that!

i am getting married friday.. to a man i have gotten to knwo over 5 yrs.. it takes YEARS to know if you are compatible and if you can live with a person. I have lived with a man before marriage.. and it ends in disaster when you break up, seperating everything and having to move out is not a good experience. But I had to live it on my own to know this.

Stand up for yourself and say no.. no to whatever you dont feel comfortable with.. a serious relationship? moving in? sex? .. whatever it is.. say no when you feel he is pushing his luck. A loving relationship occurs over a long period of time.. nothing great comes easy. NOTHING!

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Red flags:

 

He says three weeks into it he "wants this to be a LTR and to move in"...well, it almost sounds like he is going to make it one just for the heck of it, before he even knows you or you him...makes me wonder what he has to hide that he wants to 'seal the deal'.

 

Second, he is setting the "rules" instead of letting it develop.

 

Next he leaves right after sex, you don't do anything else together or have commonalities to share together.

 

He does not seem to be interested in getting to know YOU as in whom you are, what makes you tick, what you are about, or letting you even know him (aside from that he is into sex)..

 

Yeah, I would be very careful, and I would listen to that GUT....your gut tells the truth.

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