very very very very big problem please read and answer =/

[nychick]

i decided to take a break/breakup with my bf because im in completely in love with him but problem is he is not in love with me.. and i have been dealing with this problem for about 6 months and i told him that one day i will break up with him because. i want to get married to him but since he does not love me hows that going to happen?

 

its like im wasting his and my time.. he told me that in order for me to make him love him i have to be nice to him and not have my mood swings... its like he is giving me a recipe on how i can get his love.. and last night i have realized that he is never going to love me and he should love me for my good and bad not jsut my good side becasue think about it imagine if i do become nice to him and he gets his love for me whats going to happen if we get in a figh and his love for me will disappear?

 

so anwyays i broke up with him last night after a yr and 5 months this was over the fone and i was crying so hard and he was shocked when i broke up with him, at first he thoguht i was joking but then he realized that i was serious he insisted on giving it another month to see if it will change i declined im like to him whats going to happen you are going to wake up from bed and be like "wow i love her"..its not going to happen .. and btw i was his first gf he never had a gf and he 24 ...

 

so we broke up and he seemed sad ( i think). the reason why i broke up with him is beacuse this my last chance to know if he lvoes me... if he wont talk to me or see me he wil realize what he lost and realize he does love me.. its like theat phrase "if you love someone let them go if they come back to you then its meant to be" he never experienced love before so he claims he dunno how it feels to love a girl..

 

i told him when he realized if he loves me to call me and we will get back together.. he like 'how about can i call you when i miss you" im like "no please dont call" i made him promise me not to call me or communicate with me in any way until that one day that he realizes he loves me after we got off the phone he text messages me saying "thank you for telling me how you feel and what we should do i dont know if it was right or wrong but maybe its for the better, think postive, u didnt do anything wrong except screw me over a few times that scarred our relantionship, but whatever u dont do it anymore so dont blame urself.. i actually give you alot of respect for doing this it may actually change me towards u and love you in say about a week or so" then i resonded to his text saying that i love him and that i hope he will come back to me soon he text me back saying "good night go to bed u have to wake up early sweet dreams". honestly do you think this guy will come back to me? i dont know if im doing the right thing

[Survictor]

You have done the right thing. He was stringing you along. You were letting him. You stopped letting him string you along. Don't let him string you along any more. When you said, txt, you love him and he said g'night blah blah blah, ah well, you know the answer don't you.

 

Forget him. You really don't need him.

[DN]

Why do you think he should have to put up with you mood swings? Isn't that something you should change? Why should he have to accept you not being nice to him sometimes.

[Survictor]

Perhaps the mood swings are a result of this dead end relationship?

[annie24]

hm.... how bad are your mood swings?

 

there are 2 ways to look at this: 1) that he should accept and love you for who you are. or 2) I know a guy whose girlfriend is constantly throwing crying fits and mood swings. he is sick of it, we are sick of hearing of it.... we're like, "dude, throw in the towel."

[rose2summer]

the reason why i broke up with him is beacuse this my last chance to know if he lvoes me

 

By doing this, you used a manipulation measure and that can really backfire on you.

 

I am sorry you had to go through a breakup, but playing games to see if he really loves you can only hurt you.

 

I think the underlying issue is the mood swings.

 

Someone should love you through the good and bad, but mistreating someone when you have a bad day is bound to make him not love you.

 

Hugs, Rose

[JSMITH]

good for you. and yes, i know it hurts.

 

i broke up with my ex-G for the same reason.

i was in love, she wasn't.

 

sure, we love spending time together. she likes me alot ... but ..

it's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back.

 

if i had stuck around longer, sure there's a chance that she would fall in love with me ... but no ...

i couldn't afford to invest any more of my time. (even though it wasn't as long as your relationship)

 

i told her i would have to leave her in order to keep me sane.

she cried, I cried ...

 

i cried none stop for 3 days.

she called the other day crying ... how she now sits at home doing nothing all depressed, and all that ...

 

it hurts.

i think about her every single day.

i so want to call her every single second asking her back to my life.

but we all know ... it's not the right thing to do.

 

LOVE hurts.

we just have to deal with it ... somehow.

 

too bad, there isn't any quick fix for heart-ache.

 

good luck to you

good luck to me

[AwdreeHpburn]

really - good for you.

 

I stayed in a stupid relationship (if you can call it that) with a guy for many years knowing he didn't really love me. I mean, sure, we got along sometimes, and maybe he "liked" me as a person, but he didn't love me and I couldn't get it. I was WAY too self absorbed.

 

Good for you for seeing it and not dragging it to that ridiculous, "even-worse" point...

[Relationship Coach]

It sounds to me like neither of you were fulfilled so the relationship was on a path to crash in the near future. As for your mood swings, who would want to put up with them? It sounds like you have some work to do before you can make any relationship work, let alone one that is unrequited.

 

Don't wait around for your new ex-bf to see a shooting star and rush back to you because you are still you and he is who he is, together you're lacking harmony and balance. After reading his text messages and reviewing your conversation, I'm sensing right now he is feeling relief.

 

If this is an attempt at game playing to see if you will change him and he will come crawling back to you, you lose. If this was a genuine break up so you can move on, then move on and forget about whether he is coming back to you or not.

 

RC

[Derailed]

I wish people weren't so quick to give up on each other

 

Well, goodluck to you. I hope your heartache and his will pass soon...