My mom is telling me too much information!

[delovely68]

My Mom & I have always been pretty close, but since she divorced my dad, we've become frequent phone buddies.

 

I realize that she's learning a lot of new things about being on her own - living alone, going back to the job market, making new friends, even trying to update her wardrobe - and I don't mind talking to her about these things, but sometimes it starts to feel weird. I've never heard all of these personal insecurities of hers before & I don't know what to say to her. Sometimes I feel like she's crossing the line and I just want to be her daughter...though other times I appreciate that she's confiding in me & even looking to me for advice.

 

Does anyone else out there know what I mean? I'd love to hear your point of view?

[New_Horizons]

My mom does the same with me (not divorced though!). I just take it in my stride, after all she is my mom not a stranger. Choose your battles.

[zrehman]

Being there for your mom and listening to her is called being a daughter. You have to understand, that your mom has no one to love and no one that loves her like your dad did. When you get to an age of theirs, there life is solely the family and thats all they care about. So this is a new change for you and your mother, and your mother probably really needs you right now. So the best thing you could do is be there for her to talk and listen.

[Dako]

Roles between parent and child are in a state of flux once you both are adults. You can become friends, confidants and assume many different relationships. Those of us caring for elderly parents know how common it is to swap roles entirely.

[coollady1957]

Hello delovely68, and welcome to ENA. I am somewhat in the same boat as your mom. I live alone now due to that fact that my husband died in Dec. 2003. I am in the same situation as your mom but just a different way that I turned out alone.

 

I have a daughter whom is 25 years old and a son that is 20. . In addition to being Mom and daughter/or son.. We are also best friends and confidants. I value their input and opinions on both levels of the relationship.

 

I am sure your mom , like me, didn't have all these situations and insecurities before the divorce, just as I didn't before I was widowed. Now that your mom is pretty much own her own , it helps to have some one to listen. If you have advice or thoughts, then give them if she asks. If you don't, then do like my kids do. They will frankly say to me " Mom I really don't what to tell you", if they honestly don't know.

 

There are times when I just need another womans , or even a guys opinion, sometimes I just need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. They don't always have the answers , or maybe don't know what to say at times. Which is fine.

 

I am sure you mother doesn't expect you to know all the right things to say or opinions to give on each and every thing she speaks to you about. Sometimes just having that person to listen means just as much as anything.

 

I think you are awesome to listen to your mom and let her vent her questions and thoughts to you on things that involve her new life now. It can be a whole new world out there for people like your mom and myself whom have been left to start over again in life.