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Ok, I deleted my ex's number off my phone. I deleted her off MSN. Yet she still found a way to get ahold of me on MSN. We have been broke up for 2 weeks I never talk to her I always let her get ahold of me first since she initiated our break up. I just cant find a way to be mean and just forget her, like it didnt even feel bad to talk to her last night, we didnt talk about a relationship or anything She was the one who wanted to break up because she felt she needed to have fun and that we were getting to serious for her and she felt we will be back together sooner or later. I told her I did not want to be friends if we couldnt be in a relationship, but yet she continues to contact me even after I told her not to. I dont know what to think, does she just need time away from me to realize what she had? IS she starting to realize she is going to lose me for good if she doesnt make up her mind? I pretty much feel I 'am over her. I would take her back but not until she can assure me that she has grown up and is over her needing to party all the time. She was a great girl when she didnt drink and I explained that to her as well. She also told me if will be hard to ever find another guy like me. So I dont know what to do. I think I will just keep talking to her and being friendly and if she wants me back she can work for it. Any advice would be cool.

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Stop wondering as to her true intentions. All of this letting her contact you and working for your attention basically equates to a whole lot of game playing and doesn't wor in the end as the old problems just creep back up even if you two get back together. Just hanging around in the background doesn't work because trust me she has one eye on you and one eye on everything else that's walking by, and this usually ends up with the guy getting dumped for good when shes found someone else who's willing to stick up for himself and what he wants.

 

A better way is to be completely straight up and confront the central issue which is "Are you interested in getting back together with me?" Ask her this point blank and you'll understand what she's truly about.

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You did the right thing by telling her that if you can't be in a relationship, you can't be friends. It was her decision to break up, so it's easy for her to be friends with you because she still has the upper hand and can call the shots...Don't let her do that.

 

You say you feel like you're over her? Honestly, it's doesn't seem like it, since you also say you'd take her back, and since you're bothered by her talking to you. What does talking to her and being friendly get her? The way things are right now, are you enjoying her friendship and not thinking about what could have been or what might happen? If so, it's okay to be friendly...But if feel like you're doing it just to be nice, or to increase your chances of getting back together, it's in your best interest to ignore her...How long is it going to take for her to get over her need to party? You might want to reconsider having a relationship with someone who values fun over a loving bond...

 

Good luck!

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See and I keep doing that with the do you want a relationship or not. She always says yes but she just cant be in one right now she says. I think she is stringing me along because she thinks I will be there when she is ready and I explained to her I might be and I might not be. I have such a hard time just cutting her right out as well because I have been friends with her for 2 years and its like habit to talk to her. I dont understand why she keeps on talking to me tho, I told her it hurts me and she said but she really wants to keep me as a friend and just start over again and work into things slower than we did the last time, because I was the nicest guy she has ever had, which I guess I sort of agree with. Will it work tho I dont know? Oh and another thing she wants to continue to hang out alone here and there. So I just dont get it. I 'am starting to get over her becuase I realize that she is for lack of better terms "screwing me oveR".

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It won't work, this is a sure fire way to false hope and a broken heart way worse in the end. When she tells you "yes but not right now", she really means "no I'm not interested in you". People like to keep their options open even if they don't have the intentions of following through. This is very common.

 

You need to set an ultimatum, either you two get back together or else you're outta here. Just remember this backdoor let's just be friends approach does not work. By accepting this, you tell her you have no self confidence to stick up for yourself and what you want, and you tell her that you're ok with just being friends. These things give her the wrong idea.

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True I see your point. See I did NC for the past week and now she is coming back to me talking to me again. I think I just need to practice NC all together but like I said its just habit for me to always talk to her its weird, normally I can be a " * * * *" and just forget ppl, especially exes who wrong me ya know, but for whatever reason this is hard.

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Make sure you lay it out for her though and just don't ignore her. Tell her that it's either a relationship or you don't want any more contact. And if she continues, then remind her of your request. You might have to lay into her because she's probably not going to respect it though, and in that sense she's being selfish and deserves to hear it.

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I did I yelled at her last wednesday night. She called me and I told her what I thought of her I wasnt mean I just said how it was and that she needed to put an end to her drinking constantly and all this. I told her that we are either in a relationship or were not because I can simply just not be friends with her I told her that 3 times at least on the phone. I asked her how could we be friends if she hurt me like she did? She appologized to me. I asked her if she still had feelings she said she did but wasnt sure what she wants right now. I told her I would not wait around for her and she said I know and that scares me because I will not be able to find another guy like you. She just asked me if she could call me tonight, my stupid computer went to hell tho right at the same time so I didnt get to reply to that. When I came back she was offline. So what the hell does she still want with me? Is she just playing dumb? I told her her talking to me all the time is ripping me apart.

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Ya, I know it I told her that. I think I may need to be alot more assertive with her cuz she just isnt getting it. Its like its some sort of game with her to hang onto me. See its almost making me think that as soon as she is done with her being immature she is just all of the sudden going to think she can come back to me and I will be waiting. I told her this wasnt going to be how it was going to work either we are together or were nothing. I dont know if she still has feeligns or if I 'm just being strung along kinda being kept on the afterburner for when shes ready for something serious. I did ask her if thats whats going on and she said no not all she said she wouldnt do that to me. Her reason for breaking up though just htat she needed some space and freedom seemed way to generic however.

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It is a generic excuse and you'd be smart notto buy it. Not even something to be mad at her about though because this is the way it's unfolding in her mind. You gotta be assertive and stick up for yourself because she's looking out for her interests #1 and wouldn't hesitate to choose what she wants over what's right for you in an instant.

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For sure man I agree. Like she just wants me to be around so I 'am an option to her. I think your right as well thats shes looking out for what she wants and I kinda feel like maybe she still has some connection with me and doesnt wanna lose me but doesnt wanna be with me. However, I want nothing to do with her if shes going to string me along. I always ask her if she still has feelings and she never gives me a straight answer I get pissed at her and tell her she needs to come straight out with me. She always tells me she isnt good with words and doesnt know what to say, which I guess is true because even when we were dating we talked alot but she said she just loved listening to me cuz I was so real about stuff. She also told me that when we broke up she loved every second of our relationship and wouldnt mind it back. Its just like she wont listen to me that its killing me to continue this fake friendship, I keep telling her that it is but she never listens.

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