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To be friends or not to be friends thats the Question!!!


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Hi all,


Ok here goes, don't want to bore you but its really starting to hurt me! I was seeing a girl for a couple of months last year. She broke up with me because she said she wasn't ready for anothe relationship after she got hurt by her ex of 3 years. So we broke and didn't speak for a couple of months we ended up getting back in contact aroun christmas last year. We have been very close ever since we talk all the time see each other all the time and after wewent to spain this summer we have started sleeping together. It all went a little pear shaped recently with her starting her new job and working long hours. I was still calliong her a lot and i think she was starting to get very narked off. We had a pregnancy scare around september to although all clear. We fought last week with her saying that she didn't want a boyfriend and that i am not her boyfriend. I really really care about her and think that I love her. We haven't really sopken much since a little but i don't know what to do. Do i stop calling her make her do the running or do i tell her how i feel although i think she knows. I'm 25 and i'm scared that i am going to lose her.


Please help



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Ithe "i don't want a boyfriend, you aren't my boyfriend" paints a pretty clear picture.


If you want a meaningful, healthy relationship- It sounds like you need to move on


If you just want a relationship with this girl, regardless of consequences- She probably just needs a little more space. Make no mistake though she most likely doesn't love you and most likely never will.

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This is honestly a situation of your own making and by accepting a friends with benefits situation with someone you have true feelings for, you set yourself up for the inevitable heartache. So learn this lesson and don't hold back your true feelings and accept less than what you truly want (which was a relationship with her).


So now do this, have one final talk/email with her where yoiu lay it all on the line. Let her know yu care about her and want to be in a relationship with her right now, and if she's not on board then you're moving on. Then it's time to move on.


One thing to make sure is that any type of psychological game playing/limiting contact in order to swing her back into your life doesn't work in the long run and you'll come up against this same problem over and over again as the old problems have not been corrected. And waiting around in the background doesn't work either and only leaves you broken hearted in the end when she finds someone else.

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