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first time sex tip


quietgrl
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I'm alway reading virgins posting and asking for first time sex tips so i found some advice for female or male virgins.

 

Her First Time

Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time making love. There's a lot on the line, her virginity, which most likely she only wants to give to someone with whom she is deeply in love with. Will she do well? Will she satisfy her man? Will it hurt? These are all questions that go through the minds of virgin females. Of course, if you're here, and you are a virgin female that my be making love sometime soon, you're probably wondering, "What should I do to make my first vaginal sex experience easiest?" And if you're an experienced male who will be making love with a virgin female, you also could benefit from this guide by knowing how best to help her through this important and special time in her life. The best possible solution I can think of is the following list of guidelines:

 

1. Do it in a place where she feels safe, ideally in her own bedroom.

 

2. Do it at a secure time, when roommates/parents/friends/pets won't come barging in, a firedrill is unlikely, etc.

 

3. Simulate it in advance:

- Go almost all the way.

- Practice the thrusting motions of sex while fully clothed.

- Have her give you a handjob or blowjob so that she will know what your body does when you have an orgasm.

- Have a bright lights "show and tell" session, to allow you to feel secure around each other's naked bodies.

 

4. Plan it, but don't talk about it being planned, on the actual day that you do it.

 

5. Stretch the vagina out a lot with the fingers in advance. If she feels comfortable with the idea, she can even do this herself when you're not around.

 

6. Remember that this is her day: everything within reason should be done how she wants.

 

7. Spend the day with her beforehand; do something fun but generic. If you do something complicated, it will become "your" thing to do together forever, due to the association, so make sure it's something you can stand doing again on any potential anniversaries.

 

8. Have a special dinner before you "start."

- Nothing that can possibly upset the stomach.

- A moderate amount, even if you're nervous. You should both stay a little hungry and not feel bloated.

 

9. Use plenty of lubricant. I recommend K-Y jelly for the first few times. After that you may want to consider a slightly less slippery but spermicidal lubricant, several brands are available commercially.

 

10. Entry should be "missionary" style, this leaves the vagina as wide open as possible. Some women find that placing a pillow under their butts enhances this effect, others have said it doesn't matter.

 

11. If she can do it, she may be best off to do the actual entry herself, but many women would rather not. Just make sure this act is accomplished in a way that makes you both happy.

 

12. Take everything during the actual intercourse session as slowly as possible because you're trying to make this as easy as you can for her. Thrusting a big hard penis into her before she's ready or at too rapid a pace can really hurt her physically and emotionally. Try inserting it extremely slowly, go in as far as possible, and be sure to communicate with her during this whole process on at least some level. If it hurts, back off, and try again later. If insertion goes well begin lightly and slowly thrusting in and out, then decide what, if any, variety to add.

 

13. There's no point in getting it over with right away, since it will only hurt the next time, but there is also no need to draw it out. An appropriate time frame depends on your previous sexual activity with this person (oral/anal sex) and how well you already know each other and your bodies.

 

14. Take as much time as you need before putting it in. Only when the woman is really ready should this be done. I'd recommend asking verbally, and then interpreting that to see if she really means it's time.

 

15. Stay with her afterwards. Spend the night, at least. If possible, take her to do something spontaneous the next day. Discuss what happened if she wants to, many women won't want to until some later time.

 

16. Encourage her to talk to other women ahead of time to give her some idea of what to expect. The unknown means fear, fear leads to tension, tension leads to difficulty relaxing, and difficulty relaxing leads to pain.

 

17. A useful technique, for guys who can do this, is to keep the erection soft, at a sort of middling state, and then push the penis in with a finger. Then slowly let it harden. This will produce a stretching rather than a sudden opening of the vagina. If you can't do this, then at least go in slowly and gently, "getting it over with fast" is not likely to be better.

 

18. Be more or less "in love." This is something you can't just decide to do, but it can help to wait until you love each other. And from my point of view, making love is the only option, there isn't just "sex." Make sure you're sharing something, not just getting something for yourself.

 

Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. This list does little to accurately describe how any one experience will or should go, but rather you should use it to come up with ideas of your own or use it as a vague set of guidelines when considering what to do and how to make it go the best. Good luck, and remember, the best companion to great lovemaking is love and the best vessel for love is communication.

 

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Male advice:

 

The biggest anxiety with men is that they will not be able to get an erection. Nervousness and lack of confidence can cause all sorts of problems. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond.

 

What To Do

 

If you are a virgin and she is not, tell her before making love and she will be able to guide you. This is very sexually stimulating for a woman to be able to guide a man for the first time.

 

If it is the first time for both of you it may be an awkward fumbling experience. Being a good lover does not happen automatically.

 

If you have:

 

* the right partner

* time

* care

* practice

 

you have all that is required to become a great lover.

 

Sexual Position

 

Sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner.

 

Orgasm

 

Men have anxiety about premature ejaculation. If you actually orgasm too soon, take your time, relax, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time.

 

Size and Shape

 

One of the major anxiety problems with men is the size and shape of their penis.

 

The average penis is slightly more than 51/2 inches in length when erect. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover.

 

Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful. It is claimed a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon.

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It does present sex as rather a Big Deal..paradoxically, I think such lengthy advive builds sex up into an act akin to building the Eiffel Tower or something! Just using common sense and letting it happen is surely the only advice that is needed....so much *to remember* just seems silly. It's just sex...and you should relax about it. Also, first time sex isn't that good anyway, so all this buildup is grounds for disappointment.

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Not such a big deal? Well... I keep hearing that from people who've been there. But for those of us still waiting and hoping, it's a very big deal. And that's doubly true for those of us who've been waiting an exceptionally long time.

 

I'm still wishing and hoping in my forties, and over the years I guess I've built it into something like a religious revelation in my imagination. I've always thought that my first time will be the one great pivotal moment in my life, a defining event that'll change me forever and make me a whole 'nother guy entirely.

 

But then I read First Time stories from people who say they just got up and went to work or school the next day and hardly gave it any thought. Wow, that's hard for me to imagine. I would think I'd need to take a few days off to go off somewhere and contemplate the experience and what it meant in my life.

 

But then, most of the "it's not all that" stories seem to come from women... is it possible the experience has differing significance for men and women?

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The first time should ideally be part of a caring, committed relationship and not just a quick fumble and off he/she goes. I think it helps if you have been together a little while already so it isn't rushed. Some people, mean mainly, treat it is nothing more than taking a pee. The fact that women are taught that it is this defining, pivotal life changing moment is pretty poor, IMO.

 

Please don't have too many preconcieved romantic ideas about how wonderful sex will be or it is sure to be disappointing. Generally, you aren't too relaxed and a little anxious and you feel this surge of lust as you are about to have sex and then you go... is that it?! lol.

 

The first time is unlikely to be your best time ever.

 

My 1st time was with a lovely guy and we had been together for quite a long time. We petted for a long time!!! I had to broach the fact that I wanted to have sex with him. The first time I sort of felt like I should feel different but I didn't. As time went on, sex with him was everything I wanted it to be. We were both virgins and learned a lot together.

 

We broke up because we were so young but I do still see him once in a while and there is still something special between us as I imagine there always will be.

 

I am happy that it was with him.

 

I think everyone has very different experiences and I can only suggest that you relax about it.

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I do have this awful feeling that waiting until your forties or whatever is problematic because it (sex) just grows and grows out of all proportion in your mind, you identify yourself as *being a virgin*, and as one poster said, it almost becomes a oong-awaited Religious Revelation!

 

Sure, sex is good....it's good with EXPERIENCE, which you will never get if you spend your life waiting around for the Perfect Person to have a Special First Time With...life isn't like that.

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I have no no regret being a virgin at 36 but what I do regret is not putting myself out there in the dating scene.That is my only regret because my virginity isn't my issue.

Squarewheel I would try to read good and bad first time sex stories. I truly believe who you lose your virginity too makes a big differants in whether a woman has a positive or negative first time.

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I have no no regret being a virgin at 36 but what I do regret is not putting myself out there in the dating scene.That is my only regret because my virginity isn't my issue.

Squarewheel I would try to read good and post first time sex stories. I truly believe who you lose your virginity too makes a big differants in whether a woman has a positive or negative first time.

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Actually, AntiLove, I haven't been waiting all this time. Believe it or not, I've really, really wanted to experience sex since puberty, and in all these years I haven't been able to find a partner.

 

There's nothing technically wrong with me, I don't claim to be a movie star but I'm tall, slim, and at least decent looking. I was just a nerdy, poorly adjusted kid who took a looooong time to develop proper social instincts.

 

And I agree, Survictor, that it's unfortunate that some guys treat their first time so off-handedly. I'm imagining how their first time women must feel after doing something so wonderful for a guy only to see him toss it off so casually.

 

Actually, I'm glad you mentioned that, because it's something I think we men should be aware of. When I do have my first time, I'm going to make sure my first partner knows what what an impact she's made on my life and how much it's meant to me. Whether the experience leads us into a real relationship or is just a one-time event, I'm going to make sure she feels properly appreciated.

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I do have this awful feeling that waiting until your forties or whatever is problematic because it (sex) just grows and grows out of all proportion in your mind, you identify yourself as *being a virgin*, and as one poster said, it almost becomes a oong-awaited Religious Revelation!

 

 

Yes but do you think we're waiting because we choose to? It's because we have a hard time getting a date or even a one nighter. We're shy and have poor self esteem. You're right though in that sex cures thinking about sex.

 

BTW, thanks for the tips quietgirl.

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Yes but do you think we're waiting because we choose to? It's because we have a hard time getting a date or even a one nighter. We're shy and have poor self esteem. You're right though in that sex cures thinking about sex.

 

BTW, thanks for the tips quietgirl.

 

I found this article and thought i would share it with people on the board.

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