Body Language, Comfortable Silences, etc.

[MissDashwood]

Okay, I wanted to get everyone's opinion on distinguishing certain things from being flirting and attraction, or simple mannerisms.

 

Firstly, body language: What does it mean when a guy does ________?

 

Age-old question. Let's say you're talking to a guy who is sitting; you're standing. The two of you are laughing and it's a nice conversation. He leans back with his hands over his head, stretching, while you stand above him. What does that mean? Or, you're sitting next to him and he is constantly moving, but he seems to be moving closer to you. Maybe he says something to you and leans closer to talk, but he doesn't pull back - he continues to lean. Or, he spreads his legs further while sitting next to you and one leg happens to bump yours, but he doesn't pull away, and instead your legs rest against each other. What could all of this mean?

 

Or comfortable silences - how do you know you have one and what makes it a comfortable silence? What if you are walking along and he starts humming? Or whistling?

 

Or what about being completely outgoing and easy at times, but at others clamming up and not having much to say? What does it mean if he will be really talkative at one point but then later in the day he doesn't seem to have anything to say and talk is a little forced?

 

Or, what if you think he likes you but you're not sure, and he introduces you as "my friend" to his friends.

 

What if rumors start about X girl being interested in Y guy - what will happen? If he likes her is it likely that he'll tell the truth to the third party? Will he feel pressured to finally "do something" about liking X girl?

 

Is it true that all guys, if they really like a girl, will do a lot for the girl to impress her? What kinds of things? If the guy isn't always doing something for her, but does some, does that mean he's "just not that interested?" What if a guy is unsure how to proceed, especially if he's never had an actual relationship before, is it less likely that he'll take initiative all the time?

 

Please post/answer any and all questions. This thread is to be used for anyone who is confused about actions/behavior by any individual. If you have a question about a girl, let's hear it. If you are wondering what a guy means when he does _______, by all means, ask and we'll try to help.

[New_Horizons]

If I do the lean back with hands over head, it means I'm really relaxed, or really nervous. In the latter case, I'm doing it to make me look carefree.

 

If I bump your leg, I'm 'testing the waters'. If you don't move your leg away, I consider it a positive sign.

 

I may clam up after a period of talkativeness because I'm moody (yes guys have moods too!), tired, or just feel that I don't want to come accross as too talkative.

 

The rumor question - yes I think I would say or do something. Unfortunately I've never had that experience.

 

I haven't had a g/f so I can't answer all your questions. And these answers only apply to me, not all guys.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Okay, does he mirror your body language? That's quite a good sign. You know, if you're talking, put one hand to your face or something, see if he copies you. That's a sign he's attuned to you.

 

I was out with someone last night, and the eye contact was fabulous - plus I noticed his pupils were really dilated, which I think is a sign of attraction (which was definitely proved at the end of the evening, lol).

 

My body language - I fiddle with my hair more, and get way more touchy-feely when I like someone; touching their arm for emphasis when I'm talking etc.

 

Comfortable silences is nice - I'm definitely a talker though, so not to sure about that one.

 

Sounds like this guy is interested - if I were you, I'd definitely pounce before some other girl snaffles him up!

 

Good luck.

[MissDashwood]

Well, everything we've done has been in a friends capacity, but we always do tend to look similar in terms of body language - I'm biting my nail so is he; arms are folded, so are his; i'm slouching so is he; i tend to mirror him a bit too at times; if his hands are folded in his lap, mine are too, or vice versa.

 

And about bumping arms or legs, one night at a movie he was moving in his seat and his leg bumped mine. I didn't move it at all, but he didn't move his. So for about three to four minutes our legs were touching just around the knee, and then he moved again and that was it. And then the other night he was moving again in his seat and we were kinda close together on the couch (he's rather restless when sitting) and he was folding his arms and his one hand happened to bump/gently punch my arm, though in both cases of him bumping me, he never acknowledged that he'd bumped me. Normally you bump someone you look at say "oops" to them or something. With the leg and then the bumping of my arm with his hand, he didn't react at all.

 

And one night when we were watching a movie he asked me something and leaned closer to talk, but he never straightened up. So I changed my position after a while and leaned closer to him - we weren't touching but our arms were about three inches apart or so. And one time I came to watch something with him and sat next to him on the same couch even though there was an empty couch next to it; he happened to glance at me as I sat down as though taking in the fact that I was sitting next to him. So within ten minutes he changed position and managed to end up sitting closer to me.

 

Also, what if a guy introduces you as a friend, and for the time being you are doing things in a friends capacity - is it possible that the guy could still be interested in you romantically but still continue the front of "being friends?" How do you know if he wants to be friends but that it will lead to something more later?

 

Yes, I was talking to him last night and he has a tendency to sometimes lay back on a couch with his arms over his head while I'm standing (though he has done this with others so I don't know how it applies here). And sometimes, if the couch is empty, he'll lay down on it and talk to you while you stand over him; and his body is always very open. Is that perhaps just a habit as he does this often or what?