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starting a relationship, shy boy, shy girl


claus
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hey i read your post and noticed no one had replied. so i'll do my best to help you out. but i cant make any promises as i am much like yourself.

 

for starters man, dont worry about the other guy. the exact same situation happened with some friends of mine. 6months down the track theyre all friends again. he will get over it.

 

if you truly love this girl then id say go for it. places to go: parks, walking, bowling, movies. try and find out what her interests are. then when you do, take an interest in them, learn more about them. she would appreciate this and it would help with communication and her confidence talking to you. but you are right, communication is the key.

 

keep up with the physical contact, watch her body language and mimic her positive moves towards you. as hard as this may be dont worry about what everyone else at school thinks. as you said, you may have to take the lead. and yes, this requires confidence, almost every girl i know has mentioned confidence as a turn on. so keep working on it.

 

it would be good if suzy lee calls you. but for the moment she isnt, so i would adivse that you continue to calling her as you are doing.

getting to know her better: ask open ended questions (who, what, when, where, why, how) this will keep conversation going. listen to her answers and from what she says keep in mind some of the things she has talked about for future questions so conversation doesnt stagnate.

 

i hope i have been of some help. keep it up Claus, you're doing great so far man.

 

- mr sad.

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no probs Claus, i know how hard things can be. so i thought id do the right thing and try help ya.

 

as long as you stay interested in her and actually show signs of interest she wont lose interest. in my experience backing off is the worst thing to do, she loses interest, you feel bad and no one wins.

keep up with the confidence, that will stop such things from happening.

 

you are right, confidence is an attribute which is noted highly by most people in society. it shows leadership and ability.

 

dont feel to bad about being a bad dancer. almost all guys are really bad dancers, its just how we are. again, its also a confidence thing. those with confidence seem to do better then those lacking confidence.

 

if shes into dancing and wants you to dance with her then go for it, you may feel dumb but make the effort. with the dancing, just look around and see what everyone else is doing, copy what they do. you will be stepping out of your confort zone in dancing, but give it a go if she wants to dance, in my experience it brought me closer to my lady of interest.

 

with talking on the phone you have an advantage, she cant see what your doing and such. so get a pen and paper and write a few things you could talk about before you call her. then while talking about things write down any new topics that come to mind. this will keep the conversation going and avoid those destructive ackward silences.

 

her friends will always know a lot more then they let on. get to know them, create the trust and they may even share more about how she feels for you, what she likes about you, where she sees or wants things to go between you two, etc.

 

in my experience i told a girl we had to "talk" and it totally ruined everything, it worried the hell out of her and she simply avoided me knowing conversation would be heavy. do all heavy conversations in person and dont just say 'we have to talk' this would make it ackward, like just through normal conversation try to direct it toward such topics. and remember, positive body language, eye contact, smiling, etc. these will make her feel more comfortable and it will be easier for her to say how she feels, etc.

 

yep, keep me posted Claus, ill keep replying until you no longer require help on this issue.

good luck man

 

- mr sad.

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well we had "the talk"

 

she got uncomfortable and nervous, didnt know what to say (though he has stuff to say)

 

she says she gets like this with everyone, nothing about myself.

 

 

 

i asked her what did she think about us, and what did she think about me

 

 

 

i think its perfectly normal to ask that stuff... i imagine every couple that are "more than friends" do that. i think its healthy communication

 

 

she had to go. but said we'd contiinue talking

 

i got really sad with her "response", so she said if I really needed that, she would tell me stuff.... but I dont want that!!! that's forced!!! i wish she could naturally say stuff she feels.

 

her friend says shes like that with everyone, when it comes to subjects like that.

 

help.

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