Inadequacies

[renaissancewoman101]

Tonight, my mom called me looking for some ideas/things for my aunt and uncle to do when they come to CA in Dec during Christmas. I gave her some ideas. I told her that I wanted to come up to see them and hang out with them since I havent seen my aunt and uncle in over 10 years. My mom pretty much told me that she didnt want me to come up to see them because "it would be a lot of trouble and I would make her look bad". So she told me that I didnt need to come up and that I would be a detriment to their visit.

 

How do I go about just ignoring it and not letting it affect me? Also, do you think she is treating me this way because she is helping me out financially by paying for my schooling? When I was living in WI, she put me down a lot but it was never like that. It does seem to be getting worse since I moved back to CA. It still hurts a lot even though I try not to let it bother me.

 

I try to think well of myself, but it's hard. I have come a long way to put my life back together. I am going back to school, getting therapy, on anti-anxiety meds, and have made a few friends out here. I also have met someone who MAY be interested in me. Yet, when my mom tears me apart and tells me she is embarrassed of me, it makes me doubt myself and wonder what I am really good in and am I a SHAM or something like that.

 

I feel inadequate, like I have no purpose, and am NOT an asset or good influence in anybody's life. I dont know how to make people happy. I am not artistic or imaginative or creative. All I can do is make people disappointed in me or else all I know to make people happy is buy them stuff or spend money on them. I dont leave a lasting happy impression on anybody.

[AngelEyez]

I feel inadequate, like I have no purpose, and am NOT an asset or good influence in anybody's life. I dont know how to make people happy. I am not artistic or imaginative or creative. All I can do is make people disappointed in me or else all I know to make people happy is buy them stuff or spend money on them. I dont leave a lasting happy impression on anybody.

 

 

I can relate to you 100%. My mom was embarrassed of me a few years ago, because I was overweight Everytime there were big dinners for like Christmas or Thanksgiving at one of her friend's house. Our whole family was invited. But, my mom said she would be embarrassed if I came. So I stayed home [by the way, I was around 15]. Anyways, sometimes we shouldn't expect anything from people, even if they are blood related. Sometimes people aren't supportive, no matter what. I think you should move on. If you're mom feels that way about you, you can't change it. You're lucky because you said you found someone that you're interested in. That's an awesome step to feeling better. Keep working at that, and you'll definitely feel better.

[Dako]

Ren

Your mother is a vain and unhappy woman to treat her oldest child this way. You're a fine person who just needs a little encouragement for a change. I know it's easier said than done, but even though she's your mother, you can't let her hurt you.

 

There's nothing wrong with Ren.

[renaissancewoman101]

Thanks! I've been doing so well lately and then my mom comes, puts me down, and it tears me apart and makes me doubt everything good that has happened to me.

 

It's hard to keep things in perspective when my mom manages to tear me down whenever she can.