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I can't help it, I'm a worrier by nature. I am a few years older than my girlfriend. She is 18 and just started college this semester. She is at school 4 hours away so I don't get to see her often. I have been friends with her for a few years but only started to date her over the summer.. now this is her first year of college.

 

This is probably very common, but I worry a lot about whether she will eventually get to a point at which she realizes that she can have more fun being single than having a boyfriend so far away. We have not been dating that long, but we do love and care for each other, and she is very important to me. I like to think I treat her very well and am a supportive person. When we do see each other, it's been wonderful. I do my best to not bother her while shes at school. I feel that it is better to let her do what she needs to, so I don't call her constantly while shes with her friends at school or anything like that.

 

Of course I just worry constantly about what is going to happen, and I know no one can tell me for sure. I'm her first serious relationship and she is only my second. The reason I worry so much is because I lost my first girlfriend to college. The other night I wanted to talk to her about it. I made sure not to say anything threatening or accusatory, because I have no reason to believe she's doing anything unfaithful, in fact, I really do trust her. I just asked her if she's happy with our distance relationship and I let her know that I am very happy regardless of how far we have to be. This seemed to really bother her and she wouldn't talk to me about it. The only thing she said was "have I done something to make you think this?" and "I dont understand why we're having this conversation", so I dropped the subject, I didn't want to start an argument.

 

She still seems very excited to talk to me, we talk at least twice a day and stay on the phone for a while. She texts me quite a bit, she is always telling me that she misses me and she loves me.. but lately it has just seemed well.. half hearted. That's just a feeling of course, I don't know for sure.

 

Maybe I have reason to worry, maybe I don't, however I continue to be nervous about it. I know I'm not going to get a definitive answer from anyone here, because there isn't one, but some advice, friendship, comfort, anything would be welcome right now.

 

Thank you

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What makes you exactly feel this way? Have you been cheated on or just can't trust another person easily? Sure, college is a different life & she will meet new people. But if this is really bothering you, have you thought of moving closer? The negative thinking without a real reason obviously will affect the relationship even if everything is going well between you two. They say 96% of the things you worry never happens!

 

It sounds like she's happy being with you & you should really celebrate & go with the flow. If you cannot trust her or be confident about the relationship she will start to sense that no matter how happy & excited you may sound. Be positive, if you start to think negative, stop that thought immediately. Think about the great things you have between the two of you. I wish you the very best Think positive!

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I have been cheated on before, that's part of the reason I worry about it so much, especially since it was in an almost identical situation. Although my relationship with my current girlfriend is stronger than my last, I think, it was going to college that caused us to grow apart. I'm trying to work to not let that happen again, but because of the past, I will always worry about the future.

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I worry like this too vp83. My boyfriend is starting college next year and I constantly think that he's going to want a single life, go to college parties and all. We live about 8 hours away. He's in the US and I'm in Canada. If he were 4 hours away, I'd maybe drive there like once a week! Anyways, I can relate to your feelings. You just have to take chances and trust the other person. If she's giving you no sign of cheating, you should be happy. As for the half-hearted texts or whatever, it may be from the stress she's getting from school. It's her first year, right? It puts a lot of pressure on people. Hang in there!

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