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My first date EVER in my life at 36(maybe)???


quietgrl
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I never been on a date ever in my life with a man or had a boyfriend and i'm 36 years old.Well this week i'm going to finally ask a male co-worker out for lunch(I won't see him for 3 months job furlough).Anyway,This will be history in the making folks for me because if this man say yes.I would be going out on my first date ever and it's about damn time men of america but i'm not going to get my hopes up high because i know my luck with men is ZERO.

 

Let's say i do have some luck

 

What do i tell a man when he ask about my past dating history and sex life? I want to be honest and tell this man i'm a virgin but should i ruin the moment if he ask?

 

Wish me luck?I hope this man not married or gay.

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That's the best news I had all day!

Good on you, girl!

 

You don't have to tell him diddly on the first date, just let him enjoy your company and hang out with you. You need to get past the intial stages of chitchat anyway, and that's fun it you can relax.

 

I'm really happy for you, quiet one.

Never forget he's just a person like you, not a representative of all men.

Some men are really good guys, and I hope he shows you that.

 

Dang, I'm a happy guy to hear this news.

Whoo!

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Wow, congratulations, Quietgirl! Sounds like you're on your way to me. Even if this guy is gay or married, once you've asked him, maybe you'll have the confidence to try some other guys.

 

What to tell him... Well, on a first date I wouldn't think he'd ask too probing a question about something so personal, so you should have time to think about it. If it were me, I'd hope you'd just be frank and honest; I wouldn't be put off by your sheltered history. But of course, I'm not all that typical a guy.

 

I'd say try to get a feel for his personality first. If he's a quiet, shy fellow he may be fine with your inexperience and may even appreciate it. If he's more outgoing, he may look for something similar in a woman. If he starts approaching the personal history topic, maybe you could pre-empt him by coming out and asking him first, and then decide what to reveal about yourself based on what you learn about him.

 

If he's pretty experienced, maybe you should downplay your inexperience; don't be too specific, just say you're pretty selective in who you get involved with and as a result tend to go a long time between involvements. If he's a gentleman he shouldn't probe any harder and he may even feel special that you've chosen him.

 

If he's less experienced, then be honest and hopefully he'll feel the similarity with you and appreciate your clean-slate background (and your honesty).

 

Anyway, good luck! And hopefully you'll have a very positive progress report of your own to post next week!

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I say on the first date ya don't have to reveil anything, for opening up ya past can be done any time when knowing eachother better and went out more often. It's not important on the first date what your sex life was in the past, you can say to the man that that is a topic for later when ya'll know eachother better not nothing to be scared about and can respond just to have a good time at that moment. No lies No turn arounds just leave it up for another time when ya'll know eachother better and if you feel good with it. Hey, have a good time and loosen up.

 

ciao

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Yeah, don't elaborate. If he asks directly, then just say you haven't dated in a while. If he asks directly about your last serious relationship, you could simply say that you haven't met anyone you wanted a serious relationship with. You certainly don't have to tell him that you are a virgin and I am sure, if he is a nice guy, he won't ask.

 

I do hope everything goes well for you.

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Congratulations, Quietgrl! I'm happy to hear you could be going on your first date soon. I agree with the others that you shouldn't need to tell this man right at the beginning about your being a virgin.

 

I know that it feels safe to expect the worst so that anything that happens is a pleasant surprise rather than a disappointment, but please try not to be so pessimistic; it only makes you see everything in the worst way possible and you will cause yourself unnecessary worry and stress.

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Quietgrl,

 

You'll be fine. I gave this girl I liked my number and she didn't call or anything. I saw her couple times since then. I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but she's past. I'm actually moving one, and I have no cave

 

If this one didn't work you gotta try another one, then another one, then another, till you find what you want.

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Sorry guys but your fellow man never ever gave me a chance when it comes to dating.I would have to have casual sex just to get any man attention so if this male co worker doesn't call me.I'm going into my cave and talk about your follow man.

forza2 it's easy for you and others to talk because women have given you a chance and your not a virgin.Why can't a 36 year old virgin woman(me) got on one date, one date without sex being an issue.I want to casual date but no men want to go on a date with me or ask me to be their gf.Sorry guys but i have every right to lost faith in men especially in California

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Some guys just seem to be really picky. Well, I guess both guys and women can be. I think it's mostly a numbers strategy; you just have to present yourself to as many prospective guys (or girls) as is possible and eventually one'll respond. It's bound to work sooner or later; you just have to keep trying.

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Maybe Arizona has better men, if you don't mind Republicans.

 

If you've never dated any man in California, how do you know they'd pressure you for sex on a first date? I certainly wouldn't do such a thing, and I've been in Cali since 1957.

 

I honestly suspect you've been alone so long you've constructed walls to protect yourself from evil nasty men. If you go out with a guy who's a pig, dump him and go out with a decent guy.

I'd guess you have a better than 50-50 chance of meeting a decent guy, actually that's conservative.

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Over the last five years I have gone out on over a hundred first dates and many second dates. I am now 40 so I am in your age group and was of course in the last five years. While I guess some percentage of men wanted s_x on the first date I cannot remember anyone asking me for that or even getting too aggressive on the first date in a s_xual way - whether physically or in what they said. There was one guy who did - that was in 1994 - and he basically was unstable (he also behaved that way to several of my friends). I have been in situations where the subject came up before the first date (when I met men on line) and those were the men I decided not to meet in person. I also avoided going to a man's apartment on the first or second date so as not to give mixed signals.

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