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it literally hurts when i'm sad


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Recently I've been having mood swings where my mood goes really down after I think about certain things, especially how my friend moved away and I haven't heard from him for a while even though he promised to email me. We had a special relationship and now it seems like he's just forgotten about me. This obviously makes me really sad, and sometimes, like right now, i get chest pains too. It feels like something is squishing my heart and it makes it difficult to breathe. What can I do to get rid of these pains and to make myself feel better?

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I've had pains like that before when things aren't going right. It feels like a physical pain, but it's really from all of the emotion. Maybe you are even having a minor anxiety attack? Try to get a contact of your boyfriend. Find out what's really going on and if he wants to go through with this. You have to find out if he still wants the relationship with you. You can't be kept wondering what he's thinking. Go find out.

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Hey there. I'm really sorry that your feeling like this. But AngelEyes is right, if he is your boyfriend or just a really close friend. You have every right to get in contact with this person and ask him, whats going on and why he isn't contacting you at all. You nor does anyone deserve to be in the pain that you are in, just stop wondering and thinking, cause than you will overreact and over analyze the situation when it probably is just something minuit. Call him, don't stop getting a hold of him. You deserve answers!

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thanks for the replies. I want to email him, but since he said he'd email me I'd like to see when he'd email. It's almost like when a guy says he'll call you - i don't want to call him before he does. I can't really say that he was my boyfriend, but he was more than a friend. We probably would have been in a relationship like that if he hadn't moved away. So you think I should email him? Should I sayhow I was waiting to hear from him? Or would he see that as clingy since I didn't wait for him to email?

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yup, an anxiety attack... if this happens over anything else other than him,you might want to see a doctor to address your anxiety. sometimes a chemical imbalance of some kind can cause that, but this sounds like you've worked yourself up and are putting a huge emotional significance on when/if you receive an email from him.

 

and regarding emailing him, you have nothing to lose since he has moved away, and NOT hearing from him has caused you a lot of anxiety. i'd send him a friendly little email saying, how was the move, how's it going, then see if he still doesn't reply. maintaining a long distance friendship is often not a realistic priority for some people, they just want to start their new life and leave the old behind, and doesn't intend to keep up the friendship, or else he may just be busy with settling in where he is and has not had the time to email you.

 

but it sounds like you are expecting a lot more than a friendship out of this, especially if not hearing from him is causing anxiety. you need to think about what is realistic to expect. would you consider moving to be near him, would he even *want* you to move to be near him, and does he want you as a more permanent girlfriend or not?

 

so i think sending him a quick email is REQUIRED at this point to reduce your anxieity, and you need to think about trying to match the reality of his (distant) location with your own expectations for how much contact you two will be able to have, and hence maybe lessen your own emotional expectations and attachment to him...

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BeStrong, you are right. In my life right now there are so many things that aren't going right, and so holding on to him is my last chance at preventing everything from falling apart. There have been days when I've been too busy to realize that I'm waiting for an email from him. But then days like today come along, and every time I realize he still hasn't emailed me the pain gets worse. Today it was too painful, and that's why I posted here. I think I'll take the initiative and email him soon. Hearing back from him, with whatever good or bad thing he has to say, will at least end my waiting and anxiety.

 

I think I was expecting more than friendship. As I mentioned, if he hadn't moved away our relationship would have grown into something more. But he did move and I feel like that chance to grow is fading with every day that passes. Then again, if a guy reallly cared about a girl, wouldn't he at least have time to send a quick email? Is this his way of slowly letting me go?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I sent an email to him after, pretty much saying hi how's everything going...He replied a few days later saying he was sorry he hadn't gotten back to me earlier and that he's been real busy. He's coming to visit next weekend and we're gonna meet up. So everything is okay now thanks guys

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