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I'm sorry But i REALLY can't get over it...


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oki, i'm sorry i'm writing again...But i really really can't cope with this...He was everything, first time, first real love, first absolutely everything....and he just tells me he just doesnt love me much anymore?

I really don't know what to do...i'm fine during the day but now i just feel so lonely and hurt and i want to ask him questions and understand, but i want him back more....

Another thing thats really getting to me is that he'e put loads of pictures of himself on his myspace and have meaning to me...and it hurts and i want him back....theres no way im likely to get him back is there?

I'm sorry i'm writing again i just...I dunno....i just miss him

Now that i've lost him it means i may have lost my other friends as theyre connected to him not me...

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Awww hun,

 

I know it's hard when you break up with someone you really love.

 

It's happened to me. It really broke my heart, felt that I couldn't go on.

 

If there truly is no possibility of you two getting back together, you'll just have to cope. I know it's hard but there is no other way. And Myspace is bad for trying to get over someone. Don't look at it. You may see something you don't want to and it will make the situation ten times worse.

 

I say, go NC. Don't phone him, e-mail him, anything. Delete any photos you have of him, anything you have that belongs to him--> move out of your view.

 

Take this break up as a time to be yourself again, go out and do new things or something you enjoy that you haven't done for a while. Hang out with your friends. Forget him.

 

Like I said, I know it's hard.

 

Good luck

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We were together for a year and nearly 3 months but it started earlier then that, and he left me because he says hes changed and he doesnt love me anymore...And he couldnt lie about it to me anymore...and i just couldnt believe he said that, im seriously heart broken and hurt and hes one of my best friends too....i can't loose him totally....My mum told me that if i stay friends with him maybe we'll get back together...and on thursday we're going to a concert together.....omg i really can't cope with this atall not right now, not the way he did it....

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Ever since we started 6th form college *we go to different ones* hes felt less close and stuff and that he doesnt love me anymore....

 

My parents believe i loved him too much and hes too young to want that...but he always said he loves me, is in love with me and misses me....and he said it during the time he claimed he didnt....so that really kills me...

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when someone breaks up, *everyone* needs distance to get a good look at things... if you are willing to pine over him and keep seeing him EXCEPT he gets to go his merry way and date anyone he chooses while you wait around, that is not healthy for you AT ALL. And don't keep checking his MYSPACE, that is an obsessive way of hanging onto him when he just told you he doesn't want a relationship anymore.

 

i suggest you tell him the truth, that it is too painful to see him now because your feelings are still attached, and that you need to work on getting your life comfortable without him in it as a boyfriend. otherwise, he could just think he is being 'nice' by staying in contact, while you are reading way too much into every thing he says, and fanning the flames trying to keep your hope alive while he has moved on.

 

and how can he decide he misses you and wants you back, if you are willing to see him whenever he wants on HIS terms of not dating? if you feel bad now, it will be even more painful when he has a friendly lunch with you someday and starts talking about some new girl he has started dating.

 

so i suggest you pull back with no contact for a while, and say to him (and yourself), that he knows where you are and what your number is IF he decides he wants you back, and IF you don't have a new boyfriend by then you might consider it. that's all there really is to say right now, other than opening yourself up for even more hurt by prolonging your hopes.

 

i know too many people who just sit around waiting for their ex- to call, hanging by the phone, and doing nothing to get happiness for themselves, while the ex- is out dating and partying and thinking fondly of the person they broke up with, but with absolutely no intention of ever dating that person again. one does not need to be enemies with an ex-, but trying to be too close to them when your heart is breaking just re-opens the wound...

 

i think he has told you that he doesn't want the bf/gf relationship anymore, so you have to take him at his word and spend time nurturing yourself and recovering from the hurt, making new friends and people to rely on other than him... the truth is if he wanted you to rely on him, he wouldn't have broken up with you to begin with. you two can be friends again (casual friends) once you have really brought your emotions around to match his, in that you are not hoping/expecting him to become romantic with you again.

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yes, I agree 100% with bestrong. I don't think your mom is quite right, staying friends doesn't mean that he'll come back. if anything, creating distance from him may be what it takes for him to miss you and decide he needs you back. afterall, if he can see you whenever he wants, how will he ever miss you?

 

there is a good book, "it's called a breakup because it's broken." it is very good, has very good tips.

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People keep telling me to be friends now and just see what happens, i mean i dont see him atall, i only saw him because we were together, he goes to a different sixth form than me but we live in the sameish village...

We have the same friends so it's gonna be difficult like that...

I know i sound like im making excuses but i, i just dont want to loose him, hes my best friend too....

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afterall, if he can see you whenever he wants, how will he ever miss you?

 

But thats my point, he can't see me whenever he wants, i don't even talk to him, he doesn't talk to me at the moment either...so it doesnt really make a difference, its just an excuse if ever needed....

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You can get over it, hun. Also, when you do see him, hold your head up and act like you are over him. and you will probably find out that this act alone will not just help you to get over him, but also show him why he was with you in the firt place.

 

Years after I broke up with my first love, we again became involved and I realised that although part of me did love him still and always would, it was right that we had broken up. It was just a shame that I longed for him for so long!

 

You will be fine.

 

xxx

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This is really helping me to be honest....Getting different opinions...I really do apreciate it, and i'm sorry i'm being really stubbron i just really know what i want and yeh....Has anyone Had a horrible break up and then finally gone back with them and it was fine?...

 

I will keep away from him, its just difficult with friends and stuff if yu understand what i mean?...

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