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How to make a shy guy more comfortable?


pseudofemme
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I have an informal date tomorrow with a really, really shy guy. He is very socially anxious, especially around females. We've briefly met in person once... mostly we've been talking online.

 

My question is, what can I do to make him feel more comfortable? Should I try to carry the whole conversation? How can I put him at ease? Is there anything I should AVOID saying or doing that would make him more nervous?

 

We're basically just going to be hanging out... would it be better to do some type of activity? If so, what? I thought a movie would be bad since we wouldn't get a chance to talk, but maybe I'm wrong on that.

 

Thanks for any advice.

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just be yourself. ask him questions about his interests, his favorite movies, just be relaxed. ultimately, it is up to him to loosen up.

 

I agree, just be yourself. I hate it when people try to enforce rules on talking to the opposite sex in dating/relationship situations. Let go of the rules and live by whatever you want! I think we all need to let go of any rules that inhibit us from being our true selves.

 

anyways enough of that haha. Just try to make him feel comfortable. I think it would be great if you took him to maybe go watch a movie then go eat, then you'd get to do something fun and then talk while eating dinner. Or you can just go walk around at a park or something. I think anything should be able to work, at least I hope so!

 

but remember, make him feel comfortable since he's really shy. You don't want to make him feel anymore nervous. Maybe joke around about how nervous are if you are. Then he might feel more comfortable being nervous around you and his nervousness might go away. I think it all ends up being that we just need to let go of expectations and just be ourselves. There's too many expecations on meeting the opposite sex and how to act. Why can't we just let go and do whatever as long as it's not way too offending?

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its not up to 'him' to loosen up.

 

With shy guys the 'woman' HAS to take the initiative, the reason why is because of the shyness the guy is too afraid to undertake anything. He probably wants a deep relationship, but to directly ask it would be unheard of for a shy guy. Take the initiative is my advice. If you want something from him directly ask it in his face.

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Nonverbal communication can help.

I was once very shy, and if a lady would physically touch me in some innocent way such as slugging me on the arm or nudging me, I felt accepted. I'm not suggesting anything overtly sexual, of course.

 

It seemed to be a wakeup call that she was on the same page, especially when first getting acquainted.

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