Opinions On What She Meant......

[MrKadash]

My quick story. I met an extremely attractive young waitress over a year ago and learned through friends that she was going through a divorce and had two small children. It got to the point where it was just a passing "HI, how are you?" each time I went.

 

About three weeks ago she waited on me and I gave her a hard time (playfully) and she seemed to respond positively. Things started to change after that. Two weeks ago I went in and she was different -- lots of smiles, more eye contact, etc. I decided to try and initiate something more because of a vibe I was getting. In front of a table full of my co-workers, I waited until she was walking by and I simply held out my cell phone, and asked for her number, and she obliged. I went up to her behind the counter before I left and asked if we could hang out, and she said yes - "call me" and I thought all was well. I called her the next day (too soon?) and she was busy for the weekend, but she said she would call me. When she never called, I figured I would wait a week and see her in the restaurant the day I usually see her. On this past Thursday I got there and she seemed different yet. Smiles and eye contact more than before. We chatted for a minute, I made her laugh, and was getting a strong vibe. She seemed anxious, and gave my friend $7 too much change. This struck my friends funny, and she was embarrassed.

 

My basis for this post is this. When I was leaving, I went up to her and she looked at me and said "you make me nervous".... That stopped me in my tracks, I really didn't know how to take that and I was too dumbstruck to ask her to elaborate. I asked her that I wasn't one to jump through hoops and if I was just spinning my wheels here -- she responded with a no. The short of it is she again replied that she would call me.

 

Any opinions on her "you make me nervous" comment? I didn't think I was doing anything out of the ordinary. I can only come up with a couple of reasons. She likes me but is being cautious about me and dating after her divorce, or am I coming on too strong and it was her way of telling me to back off. I have called her once in two weeks, so I'm not exactly pushing the envelope sort of speak. Thanks for any opinions...

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hmmm, I don't know. Sometimes I get nervous around someone I really fancy - kind of jittery, awkward, and almost wishing that they weren't there, because it's sort of an overload. I don't know if that's the same thing - but I usually get as far as going out with them before 'fessing up that I'm nervous.

 

On the other hand - I don't know; she's not really responding, is she? Maybe it's awkward for her because she has to serve you when you come in, so she might not like to tell you no outright. I felt for her about the change thing, when your friends were laughing. If she were feeling sensitive, that could be a bit embarrassing for her.

 

You could ring her one last time, and ask her out nicely, and say that if she doesn't feel like it, absolutely no hard feelings etc, and you'll never bring it up again?

 

Sorry, not much help.

[itsallgrand]

All our opinions are really guesses. But, what came to my mind as a possibility is that she is honestly nervous around you bc:

-she likes you and is simply responding that way to you (for whatever reason)

-she isn't that keen on you, or changed her mind (for whatever reason).

 

What pops out to me in your post is that you had asked for her number in front of a group of your co-workers, then later were with friends who laughed at her mistake (even if good-natured, it could make her feel a bit on the spot and embarrased).

 

You've known her a year, right? Kind of drifting in and out as a regular customer and seeing her at work? Maybe her nervousness is due to you choosing to intiate the bigger stuff in front of your people who she serves regularly too?

 

I dunno. I've worked in the service industry and it is tricky dating a regular customer especially if they know other regular customers, your boss or co-workers etc. I personally do not do it simply bc of the complications with work.

 

Maybe you could find a time to speak with her and try one last time when you are there solo or out of her place of work?

[MrKadash]

I should elaborate.

 

I never did anything in front of others except for the cell phone instance, and no one laughed "at" her or in front of her.

 

I have always talked to her about hanging out or more personal stuff when she was alone.

 

I'm just getting a strong vibe, and wonder what to do next.

[DN]

You call her and ask her out on a date. Suggest date time and place and have back-ups.

 

She's said she was nervous and that is why she hasn't called you. So you call her.

[Ineedtoknow06]

I think you should call her again and ask her out. She seems interested in you but nervous.

 

I have backed out on calling men because I get too nervous. Normally, I will just express that I am nervous to the man and he will reassure me.

 

Good luck!

[MrKadash]

Thanks for the replies.

 

An update from today. I had lunch and saw her, and she was all business today. I hardly talked to her other than "Hi, how are you."

 

I left her a note on paper before I left that read "You look really great today" with a smiley face, and got no real reaction that I could tell.

 

Hope I didn't do anything wrong, I don't want to freak her out. Just wanted to compliment.