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Ex Husband wants back in the picture


queenofvalidation
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So, I just had a birthday Oct 16th & my ex husband (we've been divorced almost a year-LC) calls out of the blue asking me to go have a birthday celebration drink.

Well, OK.

(but in the back of my mind I'm thinking about my new love interest) The one who hasn't yet asked for my ph#...and my other "friend" whom I totally adore & fancy the most.

 

Yes, i am currently dating but not seeing anyone seriously.

Arghhh! Ex was all over me last night. Kissing, hugging, and acting like we're still together. Just for the record, that's as far as it went.

 

It has been 4+ years since I've been intimate with him. Finally, I find a prospective new love & the ex magically appears.

I thought DIVORCE meant it was over-finito. Crud, he wants to date me again. OMG, what should I do.

 

Please advise.

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You wouldn't be the first person on the planet to reconcile w. an ex husband and remarry that ex. It happens a lot actually. Does he know that you're dating again?

 

Why did you 2 divorce if you don't mind my asking?

 

I guess you would have figure out if your ex is the same man you divorced. Has he changed? Has whatever caused you 2 to divorce changed?

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did you ask your ex what is going on? do you think he is just lonely and wants "some", or is he genuine about reconciling? would you want to reconcile?

 

Annie24,

All of the above...He indicated he has other options. He definitely seemed lonely and needy and I think he is genuine about reconciling for various reasons. And, No I don't want to reconcile.

 

 

You wouldn't be the first person on the planet to reconcile w. an ex husband and remarry that ex. It happens a lot actually. Does he know that you're dating again?

 

bighair,

He now knows I'm dating. In fact, he asked me out the nite after he learned that I have a new love interest. I think it made him a little jealous.

 

Why did you 2 divorce if you don't mind my asking?

 

Long answer: The biggest problem is the spark went out of our marriage many years ago. We slept in separate rooms 5 out of the 10 years we were married. We barely talked anymore. He didn't seem to care about me and I was soooo bored with the whole thing. Then I fell in love with my best friend and it wasn't fair to my husband to stay married.

 

I guess you would have figure out if your ex is the same man you divorced. Has he changed? Has whatever caused you 2 to divorce changed?

 

I dunno. He may have changed. We have been LC. Honestly, I still am very much in love with my friend and want to be with him but only if that is what he wants more than anything else. Otherwise, the point is mute.

 

So, until he figures that out, I will move on...have fun, make new friends and date.

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Well, OK.

 

What the heck do you mean with Well ,ok,

 

IT IS NOT OK!

 

The moment you said that you gave the control of your life out of hand and passed it back into his, you went back and opened a closed chapter of your life. No wonder your feeling miserable, your going thru the whole non-sense again just because you are not standing ground in the decisions that you have made. So what results do you expect?

 

Seriously decide for yourself what you want in life, don't let lonelyness be an exuse to jump back into misery.

 

Its better to be alone then together in bad company =\

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let me see... how about this: DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE, DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE YOU WILL BE BURNED...

 

okay, i don't mean that literally of course... but you've pretty much said you really don't love him, didn't like being married to him, were bored with him, like somebody better, sex got boring, then NO sex at all... etc. etc.

 

why would you even think about getting back with him, other than he seems to have discovered a jealous streak (big ego) and can't stand his EX-wife might have another man than him? he certainly wan't too interested in you when he had you to himself, so if you go back, you'll just get more of the same...

 

so don't play with fire, you've been there, done that, move on!!! you seem to have had a VERY successful divorce, and had a REALLY lousy marriage with him before, why repeat that bad experience just because he's horny and jealous??

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I have to ask - why did you even agree to see him?

 

We've been divorced almost a year. Every time I've seen him, he showed no emotion whatever. I totally thought of it as nothing more than going out for a drink with the ex. He hadn't shown any romantic interest in me up until the point of alcohol consumption. I should have made this into an opportunity to give closure. Looks good in black & white, but in person it would have been utterly rude, ungrateful & awkward. So next time he asks me out, I will of course graciously decline like I should have & would have to begin with, had I known he still isn't over me.

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