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Well, this is my story.


I had been bartending one night a week at a bar for a little over a year and a new bartender had started. We immediately hit it off. We would joke around and have a good time working together. I would give her rides home after wok and one night we kissed. We started to hang out more & more. I had also gone on other date with a couple of other girls at this time and told her about it. One night she had come to see me when I was working and she had off and said she wanted to take things to the next level. I told her no then and then reconsidered in the morning and called her and told him I had made a mistake. We started hanging out more and more and and increased our sexual relationship as well. In my mind she had become my girlfriend. We bought each other gifts and spent many nights together.


One night we had a really intimate night and things wee going well. The next night she had went out with he friends and I had a bad feeling about it. She called me the next day and sounded disturbed. So I called her back. I new something was up and she told me she had messed up and slept with a guy last night. I was devastated. She came over and said she was so sorry. I didn't yell at her but she said I should call her a * * * *. I didn't, I told her that we hadn't defined out relationship exclusive and I couldn't be angry, even though I hurt. When we first started dating and she new I was dating other people I was intimate with them, I felt I would be a hypocrite to blame her. Well our relationship moved forward and it was good. WE talked all the time and had a blast together. I had also grown close with her roommate and sister. I like her friends, they had a lot of ambition as she is a dental student and so are most of her friends. We went out on Valentines Day and had a great time. This was also the last time we were intimate. Nothing had changed beside for the lack of sex. We still would mess around and I was ok with this. I said that if she felt guilty about sex and want to wait I understood. She had said she wanted to wait to have sex again until marriage.


Well she took a couple of vacations and when she came back had said to me if I'm looking for a serious relationship I'm barking up the wrong tree. I ignored this and we continued with the relationship. If you would call it that. I started playing games. I would return some of her calls and then she would ask why and I would say things like “It didn't cross my mind" the negative spiral had started. I gave her an ultimatum and a few days late she said she would try a relationship. I had started to become frustrated and needy and she had stated to distance herself. Finally it came to the point where I new it was over but had hope. I saw her out one night, I was very intoxicated, and she was with her roommate and he boyfriend and some other guy. I freaked out. I was angry and she had just left. This is when I started to become very depressed and have been so ever since. She had would still call me and talk to me but not ask me to do things. Now I know she was tying to let me down easy.


I finally asked her if there was any chance with us and she had said that she liked me as a friend. I was devastated. I still called her and found out she was dating the guy she was out with the night I saw her out. I found out he is a personal trainer and I'm extremely jealous. I notice that his car is over there a lot and I can't get her off my mind. I know from this email it is easy to say. Get over it. It wasn't a good relationship. The challenge I have is that I feel so lonely. I look at my life and my friends and I compare them to hers. I liked them and I want fiends more like them. I don't like just going out and getting wasted but if I don’t then I sit at home alone and sulk. I do a lot of inspirational reading, try and exercise. I just feel dead inside while doing it. It has affected my job. I have lost 14 lbs. and I don't know what to do. I started seeing a counselor and a physiatrist and this has helped. I want to stop this negative pattern of thinking about the relationship and view on my future but I'm not sure how to. I would appreciate any advice anyone has.

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When you took her back you gave her the green light to walk over you.

Basically translated its said 'its ok to cheat on me ,because i will take you back anyway' so what kind of positive effects did you expect afterwards? She might be beautifull on the outside, but the inside sure is ugly if you see how she has NEVER even has taken your feelings in consideration, and that is what you want to spend your life with? Do yourself a favour, and kick her out of your life. Show some spine, look read my lips.


You should NEVER have gone into the relationship expecting it to work out. Just because it is you we are talking about isn't a garentee things will go 'ok' for you. Reality is a girl can pack her bags and leave anyday, or cheat on you, or betray your trust, in other word things can go wrong.


So if you want to blame yourself for anything forget it, love makes blind, and so you obviously couldn't see what her scheme was.


You don't have to be jealous or depressed or anything, celebrate it that this abomination of a woman has left out of your life.

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