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My story, advice needed.


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I went out with my boyfriend for two years. When we had been together just six months, he started regularly meeting up with a good female friend of his, one-on-one encounters. They slept next to each other one drunken night and told each other they loved each other. She however, was actually in love him and he knew this. He told me they were just friends. A few months after I found out, in realising I couldn’t handle it all I broke up with him. I still loved him though and found it difficult as he constantly came round to my house and wrote me poetry, bought me things and was extremely ‘loving’ towards me. I loved him too but I couldn’t forget what he had done. I haven’t gone into much detail about it but it seriously affected me – I constantly thought about it, it truly devastated me cause he always left me so alone when he went off to see her.

 

We met up lots not officially together and still behaved as if we were. He was very affectionate but after a few months of this I broke it off properly and we didn’t see each other for a while. We also tried not to speak to each other but this never lasted more than a couple of weeks. After a couple of months we started meeting up more regularly. Then ended up going back out (about a year later this was now). He was completely different this time though. He wasn’t loving, he stopped ever telling me he loved me and he said it was because he found it difficult (he used to tell me he loved me during that loving period and I would tell him not to say it so he said that’s why). I felt that this wasn’t true however cause I said it to him a lot now, it was more like he didn’t feel it anymore. When we met up I felt like he didn’t really enjoy seeing me, and the only time he was happy with me was when we had sex.

 

I argued with him constantly for the next five months, like all the time, asking him why he seemed like he never cared about me and why he never replied to my texts or wanted to see me. It hurt me constantly not knowing where I stood cause he tried to tell me everything was fine and he still loved me the same. On our two year anniversary I went to such a big effort and he bought me this £2 thing and a badge.

 

Anyway during this period of five months I had about four incidents with drugs, which he didn’t know about. At the place where everyone was taking drugs I met this guy and started going out with him kind of whilst at the same time as my boyfriend. I met up with this guy about four times and we did nothing more than kissing. I realised I didn’t like him and loved my boyfriend quickly so I broke it off and tried to make a go of it with my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend I took drugs once and didn’t mention I’d done it a few times more and I didn’t mention the other boy. Having had a terrible time on drugs the last time I decided never to do them again and saw sense.

 

Shortly after this my boyfriend dumped me for reasons he stated ‘I don’t see you as a girlfriend anymore. I’m not in love with you anymore, I see you as a friend’. Then he just went out constantly and just abandoned me basically. About a month later my conscience kicked in, my now ex-boyfriend started being nice and talking to me again and it seemed like he was reconsidering breaking up with me. I then told him the truth about the drugs and the other guy cause I had been feeling really awful about it. The next day I went to see him as it had been so awful. We didn’t speak of it and we just kissed and stuff. Then we met up again and same happened. Then after that he told me when I asked him, that he thinks we should just be friends. Then he basically didn’t properly speak to me. He went out lots and when we did speak he would take ages to talk to me and he killed our convos and it was like he was a stranger and he didn’t know what to say to me.

 

He stopped having any time for me. It has been like this for about 2months now which takes us up to this day. I don’t know what to do. We meet up occasionally when it suits him and then he tries it on and tries to go a bit further then kissing. It is all his doing. Then once he has got what he wants he is all cold with me like I am nothing. Last time I saw him was a week ago, and this happened. It was an alright day there was no arguing or bad feeling but he has avoided me ever since. He is so cold towards me. He has just avoided me for a week. It makes me so depressed. I dunno what do people think to this situation?

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hi babybear. Honey, I think this guy told you all you need to know. he barely made an effort on your anniversary, he's having sleep sessions with other girls, he's not loving, and he's even told you he doesn't see you as a gf anymore! The writing is on the wall - he told you himself, it is over.

 

I would focus on healing. I think you deserve a lot better, this relationship does not seem healthy at all. take time to heal, and you will meet someone who likes you as much as you like them.

 

good luck

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