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Ex-love of my life lost an Aunt today, i read about it and now i'm really upset


RayF
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Well, guess I just needed to talk really.

 

Tonight I'm really bummed out and to the degree, and I'm surprised frankly.

 

Tonight my mom told me she was reading the obituaries and noticed my exgirlfriends parents listed as a brother to a woman that died. Sure enough, Kristen's 52-year-old Aunt Audrey was killed by a hit and run a few nights ago.

 

I feel sick to my stomach, that poor family. I never knew her too well, but she was a very nice person and its terrible to think that someone so close to them is gone and in such a terrible way. I think back to the way it was when Kristen and I were together and how close they were, they must be so devastated right now. That whole family was a really amazing group of people, they didn't deserve this.

 

This girl and I have not spoke in over two years. I ended rather badly, there was a lot of hurt and disdain towards one another even though we were both good people. Our personal insecurity issues is what drove us apart. She broke up with me, devastated me and broke my heart had me on the verge off giving up for good but I grew, stronger than ever from the experience. It took me almost two years to feel like I got over her but hearing this tonight just makes me realize how much I truly loved and probably always will love her.

 

The last time I saw her she didn't see me but she was with another guy. It killed me but in retrospect it was the final straw that finally allowed me to really feel like I had moved on. I still miss her a lot and think about her often. It still hurts when I really think about her.

 

I want to send a brief card to her and her family letting them know they are in my thoughts and prayers. I was considering going to he funeral but I don't know if she would be offended or not. Maybe it isn't my place.

 

I always thought out of slight bitterness, now that I got over her I would never have a need to talk to or acknowledge her again. Even if i saw her. But now all I can think about is wanting her to know if she ever needed anything from me I would be there. I guess when you really love some one, even when you get over them emotionally, you will love them forever. I never wanted to be mean to her because she broke up with me, it was really just about my own pride, to remind myself thaty i wasn't weak and worthless. Events liek this make you really think about whats important in life.

 

I hope they are all all right,

 

Thanks for listening

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Thanks guys. Thats exactly what i figured. Since, i wouldn't ever want them to think i would do something as horrible as use a funeral to get close to her i'll opt out of that. She may not think that, over the corse of two years there would have been a million and one other ways for me to try and do that.And i've come to the point where I don't even care if I ever had her as a part of my life agian. For personal reasons that is, but as i said, hearing something terrible like that made me realize that i would still help her o her family in any way if they needed it.

 

Tht card i bought was adddressed to the family as a whole. I'm not even sure she lives with them anymore.

thanks for reading!

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Thanks for reading and replying and it does feel good to me for the family to know i care. I never got a chance to say goodbye to them and that i really did care about them all and i just wanted to let them know i was thinking about them.

 

I'd never expect her to, or even hope for that matter, but If she ever did want to contact me i think i'm finally in a place where it would not phase me one way or another. I'm content with myself and moved on enough to not let her affect me emotionally but still strong enough to be able to lend her a helping hand if she ever needed it. i don't think I'll ever stop loving her in that way even though I no longer care if shes a part of my life or not. But I do care about her well being and happyness no mater how she achieves that and with whome.

 

This serves as an important moment in my life tht I can finally swallow my pride and admit that. Life is clearly to short to focus on pain and spite.

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