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Confusing email,what do I do?


paige123
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Hi everyone, A few days ago a friend (male) of mine sent me a bizarre email. We have had the eye contact thing happening for a long time but nothing has ever happened. He wrote " We BOTH know we have had a weird thing going on between us for along time now and also know you will deny it. I know how you look at me, this tells me everything, the way you're nervous with me, just everything, you know what I am saying"

 

I don't know what to do? I feel like if I don't respond, it's an admission of guilt. If I don't defend myself someway he'll think i'm scared of it all. I am very attracted to him I must admit but I don't want a relationship at the moment.

 

I would like peoples opinions. If someone sent you an email basically telling you you're in love with them but denying it, what would you do? If you didn't agree at all would you bite back?It's a bizarre situation I think.

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This is tough one, he's putting all the emotional responsibility and risk in YOUR hands, and that's not so great. His choice of words may be what is bothering you...because they are not "definite" just a kind of "fishing for some confirmation type of thing" right?

 

It's one thing for him to write to you and say, he has feelings for you. BUT, this is a weird email, and you do NOT have to confirm HIS "suspicions", he has NO idea what you MIGHT be thinking. So take a few days and think of just one line you want to write back, keep it simple, and you don't have to deny or confirm anything, and you surely do not have to express YOUR feelings either way at this point...

 

If you do respond keep it lite and polite, simple, you may want to write something back like: "your email was interesting, and sure I know what your referring to, we've had some eye contact and flirtation, and it's been nice, no denying that, hope you're having a great day, (sign your name).

 

this way YOU can DEFINE what it's been, nothing more than a flirtation, and keeping it simple like this does NOT lead him into thinking there's a relationship developing. Try not to get so nervous about what HE might think YOUR thinking. YOU are in charge of you and he's got no right to say, "you will probably deny it"..yuk... why would you deny it? why would he think you would deny it? His passive aggresive communication might be what is bothering you.. but don't let that knee jerk emotional reaction you're having turn it into "someone basically telling you, you are in love with them but denying it".. that is NOT what he said, he called it "weird thing going on between us".... If he is interested in a relationship, or just going on an official date with you, then you are worthy of him asking in a nice, mature, classy way...don't you think? Maybe I'm being to hard on the guy.. BUT...

 

It would have been classier if he simply said, "I think we both might feel we have a connection, would you like to go to dinner sometime?"

 

But this email is just plain... well, as you said "weird".

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