My Tormenter

[valenski]

I recently started communicating with someone I lost touch with via instant messaging, I have to admit I was excited to hear from her after such a long time. Not being the shy guy she knew, I dominated to conversation with innuendoes and memories of days gone by. Thought she was into the new me but when I recalled certain events I got nothing but denial, fine I let that slide. She mentioned she was getting married I said that was great but when I asked her about her fiancée and the wedding plans she changed the subject. Why?

 

She guided the conversation towards my feelings for her, wanted to know if I still thought about those late night phone calls, I redirected the question to which she responded, " I don't even remember calling you ever." That hurt a little and made me defensive so I reply, " Yeah,I still think those calls, think of the precious sleep I lost talking to you." Now that I think about it maybe she wanted a reaction to gauge my feelings for her, I was cool and collected until I was thrown by that comment.

 

I'm just trying to figure out what is her deal, the first time I met her I may have fallen face first but I'm way past that now. Why all the questions about my feelings for her? Isn't her fiancée giving her enough love? She dodges every one of my questions about him makes me even wonder if she said it (the wedding) to get a reaction from me. She is manipulative, always has been, seems she's gotten to the point where she needs to know she had someone wrapped around her pinky.

 

Haven't spoken to her in a while or seen her online anymore, maybe she got what she was looking for, her answer. I don't know why it bugs me, is this a game for her? Now that she doesn't have my attention, the game is over? This is bothering more than it should so if after reading this post, you have any insight please share them, maybe a different perspective is what I need to resolve his issue.

 

Thanks.

[blueangel]

Sounds like she's searching for something outside of her to-be-marriage- meaning she isn't ready for it yet. I think even with that last comment you gave, as rude as it may have been, you were still keeping your cool.

 

If she avoids telling things about herself though- especially the BIG things- I'd watch out for that. Your confidence in yourself may have surpassed her own... even if it was faking for the moment, she couldn't keep up or challenge you back. She couldn't even talk about herself. There's something too sneaky about that... like she's not being real with herself or with you. She's looking for fantasy in her life... one that her fiance hasn't fulfilled for her yet... so she keeps looking. That's the type of girl who messes with you. Respect yourself and say, "Look if you're getting married, then let's make sure this doesn't cross the boundary of friendship. You need to be happy and I'm not messin that up for you." With those words, you are putting the control into your own hands... rather than letting it slip too soon in the beginning.

[robowarrior]

Sounds to me that she wants to have you on the hook of her rod. Maby as a backup if things go wrong with her fiancee. She probably still has feelings for you , but seeing how she does the things she does, you really need to stay the hell away from her, because she doesn't care if people get hurt in the process , or in other words she goes over dead bodies to get what she wants, personally i think she tried to see if there was still something to get out of whatever there was between you. Red flag , my advice = run away.

[valenski]

Thanks lots guys, your arguments are priceless and now its time for me to get over this bump in the road.

[dogheadma]

She is manipulative, always has been, seems she's gotten to the point where she needs to know she had someone wrapped around her pinky

 

Don't waste your time. Move on and forget it.