Jump to content

Why Do Women Do This?


odysseus77

Recommended Posts

Ok, So I'm a college student. In one of my classes I noticed this really cute girl who always sat alone, and never talked to anyone. I took the oppurtunity, went up to her, and started talking to her. She explained that she was a commuter, so she really didn't know anyone on campus. So, we have sat next to each other and talked, flirted, and laughed for the last 3-4 weeks. It was a fun time, and I thought she was real cool, and we had a lot in common.

 

Then last week, I asked her to go to a movie with me. She was like, "Oh, well I'm busy this week, so probably not, but gimme a call, and if not then next week." So I got her number, and I called her that weekend to do something, and got the answering machine. Monday morning, first thing she says was, "so sorry i didn't call you back. I was at my cousins house, and I was going to call when I left, but I forgot." I said no problem. Then today comes around, and I aked if she was busy and if she wanted to do something. Out of nowhere she says, "well, actually I'm going with my boyfriend of three years to New Hampshire to see the foliage." I was stunned, but I didn't let it show. I bowed out with grace, and took it all in step. I asked where in New Hampshire, said it was really beautiful up there, and upon departing, I wished her a good trip. So at least we will be able to have class and talk without being awkward. And I will follow, that although its possible that she just said it to let me down easy, I have a gut feeling that its tru beacuse it expains a few of her behaviors.

 

BUT WHY DO GIRLS DO THIS? I've talked about this with friends, and I have experienced it frequently as well. A girl will talk and flirt with you like shes really interested in you, but then when you press the issue of hanging out, you find out that they have a boyfriend. Of course there are the cases where they lie about it just to let you down easy, but many times I have found out through mutual friends and facebook that it is true. So what is it? Are you girls just out for the attention? Thats my theory. Girls like to feel that another guy is interested in her, and has fun teasing him with flirting, but then when he wants to actually do something with her, she just drops the truth to stay "a loyal" (and I use that term loosely) girlfriend. Any other explainations ladies or guys?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This has happened to me once or twice. But I don't do it to "tease" the guy or get him interested. I just enjoy his company and like hanging out with him. A whole lot of the time I don't think this guy would be interested in me that way, just wants to talk, so why say "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, LEAVE ME ALONE" if he just wants to chat?

 

Maybe I handle it the wrong way, I don't know. I wouldn't have let it go on as long as the girl you mentioned did though. I will bring up my boyfriend in conversation sometime earlier, not after saying we should hang out and all of that.

 

I get along better with guys anyways but hate the fact that they won't talk to me if they know I have a boyfriend. It's the whole "why can't we be friends" thing I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This has happened to me once or twice. But I don't do it to "tease" the guy or get him interested. I just enjoy his company and like hanging out with him. A whole lot of the time I don't think this guy would be interested in me that way, just wants to talk, so why say "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, LEAVE ME ALONE" if he just wants to chat?

 

I get along better with guys anyways but hate the fact that they won't talk to me if they know I have a boyfriend. It's the whole "why can't we be friends" thing I guess.

 

YeP I totally agree with this....

Maybe she didn't see it as teasing & flirting, maybe she felt it was enjoying your company & hanging out. You handled it well...but don't take it personally, she possibly put off mentioning the bf incase she feared you wouldn't be intrested in staying friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This just happened to me TODAY. I went to ask a girl out after me and a friend thought she was into me. She told me she was on a SERIOUS relationship. I was like . I told her directly that I wouldn't have know by the way she acted. I hope she learned from that. Why would you play with other people's emotions? PLS women...If you are guilty of doing this just stop and think for a sec what you are doing. PLEASE.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe that most people enjoy personal intereaction with a member of the opposite sex even when you are in a relationship. Typically girls let you know early on that they have a bf but in this case maybe she liked the attention or she consciously didnt tell you. Either way it happens and its just something that you have to deal with. Each girl can do it for different reasons but if you are into a girl then feel free to ask if she has a bf or is attached. That would save you some trouble.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why do some women do this? Who really knows, but the person doing it. She could have been going through a rough time in her relationship, she may have been attracted to you but didn't want to act on it, who knows but her?

 

This has happened to me as well, but with a married woman. I was invited to breakfast, never went though, but soon found out she was married and still living with her husband. Realize that these things happen. The one good thing to come out of this is that you're immune to any future events similar to this one (meaning you won't be as surprised because you have encountered this type of situation before). You'll look back and laugh at this one, I think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We do it because we'd sound like retards if the first thing we said was "I have a boyfriend!" What if you weren't interested in us that way?! LOL Really we aren't evil. We just would hate it if we said "I have a BF, but would like to go to the movie as friends" and you said "Oh... Well that's all it would have been anyway... Duh!"

 

This happens to me sometimes. I will meet a guy at work or school, and he'll seem kool and we'll go to lunch or something, and IF IT COMES UP IN CONVERSATION I'd bring up something about my ex (like, if he asked "have you seen that new movie?" and I'd respond "yeah my BF and I saw it last weekend! It was great) ASAP, but I won't overtly try and chase him off!

 

In this case, I'm sorry but it really didn't sound like she led you on. She tried to allow a friendship to happen. When it became clear you wanted more, she put a stop to it so no one would get hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is really difficult because when guys talk to me in college I just assume they are being friendly and I am friendly back. I don't think that they want to ask me out! If they want to then that's their decision but I am not going to change how nice and friendly I am

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Obviously I don't expect the girl to just blurt out "I have a boyfriend," but honestly most of the more tactful women that I have met do it very well. Like if a guy they think is interested in them asks what they did over the weekend, say something like "I saw that new movie_______ with my boyfriend, it was great." Just slip it in there in situations when theres a guy that you are being friendly with so that no one is caught off guard. Thats how I think it should be, and for some reason this eludes most girls.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Look, I've had female friends and anyone with half a brain knows to what degree you should interact with other people when you are in a relationship. Being friendly is ok but when you give a lot of eye contact, one-one time, etc. that crosses the boundary and you do not go out with a guy friend without setting that certain boundary that it is just a friendly get together.

 

As a guy, I look for buying signals from women to see if there is some connection and I base my next move on that. But when you are with someone from the opposite sex for awhile and there's no mention if a significant other, that tells me that I have a live one.

 

I think some women who lead men on are those who want the attention while disregarding the fact that they are hurting other people's feelings. They want to show the world that they are a "HOT" commodity and men throw themselves to them. They do it to boost their ego or fill a void where their current partner cannot provide.

 

From my experience today, I've learned that I have to make an effort to get someone I'm potentialy interested in to somehow blurt out if they are in a relationship or not before I make any sort of move.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From my experience today, I've learned that I have to make an effort to get someone I'm potentialy interested in to somehow blurt out if they are in a relationship or not before I make any sort of move.
Why don't you just ask them from the beginning? "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Are you seeing anyone?" etc. It is a sign that you are interested and the woman will get the message.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Obviously I don't expect the girl to just blurt out "I have a boyfriend," but honestly most of the more tactful women that I have met do it very well. Like if a guy they think is interested in them asks what they did over the weekend, say something like "I saw that new movie_______ with my boyfriend, it was great." Just slip it in there in situations when theres a guy that you are being friendly with so that no one is caught off guard. Thats how I think it should be, and for some reason this eludes most girls.

 

man you nailed it. I actually did this to a girl last year. I asked her some question and she mentioned her bf and it was the same day I met her. I was so thankful she mentioned that or else I'd have been majorly obsessed with her for a long time and would've fallen apart even more than that day...haha

 

I did this before that as well and asked what the girl does for fun and she also mentioned her b/f. I guess some girls are better at mentioning their b/f's, than others.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Could also be that they don't mention their bf because they are on the way out, or thinking of getting out.....

 

I have seen this happen, they are not happy with their bf but are still with them so they talk about what they did minus the bf...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 years later...

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you OP. It's true that some girls do it, and yes some women likes the attention, which is the same as guys to some extent. I guess some girls have inner egos that 'scores' whenever they get a guy interested, even if she's not all that interested in him romantically. I know for one thing that my sister does it, she's naturally flirtatious so she gets a lot of guys interested because she's cute and friendly, and she would go on a date with guys she's not entirely interested in. Then she just moves away once she knows they're interested, cos she's really not all that into them. She admits that she likes male attention.

 

I can never do this though, although some guys are so bad at reading signs. There was this guy a couple of years ago who always bugged me and followed me in lectures and finally asked me out to his party but I said that I'm going to Australia with my bf, even though I was totally single.

 

I hope things will go better for you later.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How did she tease you?

 

You approached her. You asked her to go to a movie. She said yes to a movie but didn't show any romantic interest. She obviously wasn't making you a priority. And then you feel slammed by her having a boyfriend?

 

What did she do that said otherwise? You barely know her yet you have feelings for her. You need to keep that in check.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...