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Best friend trying to kill me 4rom the inside out :'[

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Ive ALWAYS been in love with my bet friend... and he always told me he wasnt gay in whichi knew he wasnt telling the truth, so that bummed me out for a while... that was 2 years ago... Now just last month we got Intamate(EeK!) and hes had a girlfriend whom i dispise for almost a year.

So after he and i messed around,. what did he tell me??? it was something like.. "im not gay(bull crap) were just best friends" i cried like ALOT. And i started cutting myself which is SO UN-like me Eek.. so its been a month and i cant stop feeling like crap, he tells me he doesnt want me but hell turn around and flirt with me, or hold my hand, or let me kiss him. I know im stupid for letting him hurt me but Dammnit i love the jerk. I need some help. Before i die...


PLease and THanx

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theunborn - I'm sorry for your pain. Inside and out.


You should try a break from him of a few days straight. Just to get some of your strength back.


Try and look at it this way.


Yep - I'm going to give you an analogy - just bear with me.


See, we, humans, are like full glasses of water. AND we all share with each other. Maybe he's less full or more empty than you are. SO...you share. You fill up his glass. But now that leaves you with not enuff, but that's OK, you do it for him. He's your friend, he'll pay you back with what you need. RIght?


But he doesn't. And then, not only does he not re-fill, but comes around asking for more from your cup! And damn it if you don't give it to him.


Well, when you're almost on E, "great" guy that he is, here he comes with just enough to fill you back up to a point where you can go on. And since we are all filled in various places from various other people, you are quickly replenished and ready to start giving more to his empty glass.


Don't empty your the glass of you on someone who won't re-fill or be thankful for the fill-up from you. Then you'll be too empty to give him anything anymore and he'll move on to someone who's got more to give.

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If youre only 15 and Im guessing hes around the same age... He is still in a point in life where people are trying to find out who they are and though he certainly is gay because he wouldnt have much interest in messing around with guys if he wasnt, he may not be ready to admit it to himself yet. I cant remember many or any for that matter kids that were "out" back at that age in highschool. It seems like for a lot of people, it takes until they go away to college and theyre around 20 or older before theyre able to admit it to themselves and theyre ready to be out. It seems he is in denial about his sexuality and youre not.

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i totally agree with PACMAN, great advice!!!

I didnt find myself as a human being until i was in my 20's. I am not gay, but getting to know yourself, your goals, what you want out of life.. all that happens in your 20's.

He is Gay.. but for some people depending on their family values.. this may be tough for him to admit. he wants to fit in with what he knows his family wants for him .. yet he is attracted to you. I dont think he's trying to play you by all means. I think he is confused. as for you, do not ever love someone more than you love yourself! STOP HURTING YOURSELF. That is a much deeper issue. do you want attention? what are you missing? do u not feel worthy of loving yourself? You are not inferior and you are not alone, love yourself, better yourself, distract you mind(movies, shopping, sports) life is ahead of you, do not waste your love on someone who is unsure of who they are.

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Tell him to stop, as soon as you can. The more you do it the more it'll hurt. Of course, it will probably hurt to cut him off right now, but it can damage you more. If you can talk things through then alright, but if he insists on playing those little games of confusion then I'd say yes... cut him off.

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