I can't loosen my reigns on my boyfriend, and I should.

[Momene]

it's not too late to change that.

 

Not really. I'm away on business a lot and don't have money to go out.

[xmrth]

A person like me who is so upset about her boyfriend going out with friends for a guy's night.. should I push myself to go out those nights? It helps... but a night like tonight, I'm tired, it's raining, it's cold and windy, and I'm so comfy in my room. I'm actually looking forward to getting some homework out of the way.

 

I never had set plans, but was going to go tag along and was invited out, but I might pass on tonight... I just feel like maybe I should push myself? Like maybe it would help? And this is a completely stupid question, but it's serious. I guess I feel like I'm not taking steps forward to stay home... and literally lay in bed reading a book I'm interested in for one of my courses, haha. What do you guys think....? Is it a bad choice? I already know this is a bad/stupid question

[Hope75]

If you are happy at home and comfortable and have something to keep you busy (homework) than go ahead and stay at home.

 

BUT... if you think you will do homework for an hour, and then your mind will wander to him and you will start panicking and think about calling him or barraging him with a million questions when he does call you, than maybe it would be better to go out.

 

Martha, it's important that you have a life of your own too... separate from being attached to your boyfriend's hip. You also deserve to go out with the girls and enjoy yourself, and to have other interests. Remember, you can't be each other's everything. The strongest and healthiest of couples with tell you this- having outside interests and time apart actually strengthens a good relationship- it feeds all the needs of those two people.

 

Give it a try!

[xmrth]

That's so true... especially with having my own life outside of him. I feel like weekends are the best time to establish that, but if I don't say "yes I'm coming" then I may consider staying in, but especially tonight's case because it's just a crappy night and everything and I'm kind of in a homework mood.

 

I will probably go to sleep before my mind wanders... I just feel upset now because now my boyfriend might stay in! After all of this! But no, he might go out later on after he rests. He got hurt at work. I still feel the same about not being with him though, that he COULD be with me.

 

I just associate the weekends with him because it's the times we see eachother... it's too much of a habit. I don't want it to change, but when he's not here with me, I'm thinking of other Fridays and all the things we do those nights and the places we go... and how we could do that tonight but aren't.

 

But... I have lots to do, so I will try using the time for myself.. It's so bad; it feels like forever, like it's permanent even though it's not.

[Hope75]

It's not forever, it's only one night, and before you know it the sun will be up and tomorrow will be another day.

 

So go ahead and use the time for whatever you like, homework, watching a chick flick, taking a bubble bath and going to bed early, or heading out with the girls for a bit of fun.

 

Enjoy yourself and don't look at it as a bad thing.