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Talking to a girl after months of silence


Salucious
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there is a girl in one of my classes that I think is very cute. There have been very few occasions where we have talked at all (just questions about class material really). I used to sit by her but now these other guys do. when I did sit by her for some reason I thought she was interested in me. She would constantly look back, at the clock and then me, and she sat right in front of me and would flip her hair constantly though I could be just imagining. She used to be very quiet but she talks more now (though not to me). I've read and been told that first impressions are important; so do I have less of a chance getting to know her if I all of a sudden start talking to her more after being so queit myself? I only ask because if I really wanted to talk to her it would probably have to be before/after class and like most people in the class they zip away when class is over. So I guess I'd have to catch her before class. I felt like doing this because lately she has been talking to other guys in class and surprisingly it has made me jealous. How well should I know her before asking her to hang out? This all just seems awkward to me because I've sat next to her for like close to 2 months and have barely said a word.

 

Also, I was looking at her facebook page and it says "in a relationship" but there are no pics of her boyfriend; is there a chance she is actually single? I would still like to get to know her if she does, if just to be friends.

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First off, those things she did were not legit signs of interest. It's possible that she was attracted to you but you can't know based on those actions. Legit signs of interest is her making out with you, showing up on time for a date looking her best, having sex with you, etc. Flipping her hair could mean a million things.

 

Secondly, she's in a relationship. You really should look for a girl who is single.

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Was wondering where you've been diggity. But what he says is true, pointless to try and read into her actions, best thing would be to strike up a conversation with her and see how it unfolds from there. In certain situations, you're going to want to get her number, other times you're going to want to get together on a date with her right then and there. In other situations, you can proceed even further than that and get sexual with her at your place. It all depends.

 

As for her being in a relationship, I'm not one to decide another's morals, I'll leave that up to your parents and religion, but personally I believe that if I'm not the one in the relationship then I have no commitment issues and am thereforeeee free to do as I please. The onus is on her to decide whether to cheat or not.

 

But do not have the mistaken belief that being her "friend" will get her to be your girlfriend, it doesn't work that way. This method has been proven not to work. Find out if she truly has a bf though, people can sometimes be lazy about updating their facebook or myspace.

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I think you should just talk to her a little about class or whatever. See her reactions. If she seems to talk to you back with more than a yes or no answer then at least she's attentive to you, or that could be her personality.

 

But yeah, you mentioned you haven't talked to her much, so I'm not sure what to say about that. I've had it where I liked a girl that I didn't really talk to and I took a while to get the courage to talk to her. It didn't turn out great, but I tried and I think you should try too.

 

Since her facebook says she's in a relationship, she probably is unless she's trying to prevent guys from constantly adding her on the site or whatever.

 

I mean the end result is you just have to try and talk to to her and you'll find out whether there is really anything between you two.

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Man, I can relate. your situation is almost word-for-word what I went through. If my experience has taught me anything, it's that if two people don't find that they click right away, then they look for compatibility elsewhere, and you can't just make people like you. If she used to be shy but has started talking with other guys way more than she ever did with you (like what happened in my case), then you're better off trying to forget about her and move on, because it's not going to work and you'll save yourself a lot of suffereing in the long run. Right now you'd have to go out of your way to talk with this girl in a different setting and/or overcome the apparant barrier you already have between you verbally. If these things didn't just happen naturally to begin with, then it's no use trying to fix them now.

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