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So this is the fist time I have ever posted anything on this and I definatly need some support.


I had been dating a girl for about a yea and we broke up about 2 months ago. She had started dating someone new and I had a vey had time with this. I felt like I was going to die actually I wanted to and thought about doing this myself. Well, I decided to stat to go to couseling and she a psyciatrist. These people have helped me out a bit. I definatly feel better than I had peviously. Ove the last few month though I have been in contact with my ex numbeous times. I understand this "NC" thing that you all talk about and it makes sense. I new the entire time this is what I should have done but lacked the strength to do this. Not only did I lack the strength to do this I have also been in contact with her in a negative matter. I dive by her place to see if he ca is there o if his is. I will be sitting at home and my mind starts tuning and all of a sudden I find myself diving by o walking by. I don't want to I just do. Last week was the lowest of them all. I had drove by his house and let the air out if his tires. I was angrry and filled with rage. She had called me the day before and gave me false sense of hope (not really by saying anything just by contacting me) Not only have I been breaking the NC rule by talking to her I also have been breaking it by doing these drive bys. I undestand that these are negative things to be doing but I do them anyway. She has been vey understanding of me and very patient with me. She know that this has been hard on me. I have been in denial that it is over and have been trying to hang on with dear life. I know the best way to my happiness is going to be able to let go. I just don't know how to let go. I know I need to do the NC thing and this will help me but I am wondeing if anyone has any ideas that woked for them regading letting go. I hate being depressed and my inability to let go and over analyzing my previous relationship is making me feel depressed and very lonely. Any feedback would be great!!!

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Wow, you must really be into this woman and are thinking slightly irrationally.


You could get an arrest/misdemeanor for damaging her new guys car.


I am very sorry for what has happened to you here, but I also don't want to see you have problems as schools and jobs will conduct background checks and letting air out of a guys tires could easily be reported on your record if you get caught.


I would suggest NC as best as you can.


I realize that it hurts so much and makes you sad, but can you take on some hobbies/interests to keep your mind off of things.


With each day, the pain will subside, I know it's very difficult, but hang in there.


Hugs, Rose

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Stay away from her. Occupy your mind. How can you occupy your mind? By occupying your time and involving yourself in activities which require concentration. Sports and fitness are a good physical outlet, while reading or getting passionately involved in a hobby are good mental outlets. Also, I found keeping a journal to be one of the key success factors in healing after my breakup. I kept mine at link removed since it was convenient and free.


Stay the heck away from her boyfriend - I know you don't want to end up in jail for something stupid - you will look back and think, "that's not me, I am not that person." So, stop it before it starts - stay away from her, force yourself no matter how much discipline it takes. Get your friends to help you if you must. It will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. Hang in there guy.

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