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keep this in mind when rebuilding...


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This is a quote from FriscoDJ in another thread:


The "getting back together part" is only a beginning, not an end. Remember that. And in many sense the chips are stacked against you due to past history and set precedents in the "old" relationship. These things led to the demise of the relationship in the first place, so it's only logical to assume they will do so again unless they are addressed and worked on by both people. These ways are what you know as "normal" so getting past them will feel "wrong" in some senses to you. Realize that and know it is a necessary truth.


I thought these were wise words and wanted to make sure more people had a chance to think about this, so I started a new thread. It's so true, too- We are creatures of habit. If you get back together, unless you address the problems you broke up over, they will still exist once the honeymoon phase is over. You have to communicate, and fix what was broken in the first place!


Good Luck everyone

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His words are right on the money. When my ex and I first broke up (a year into our relationship), it was because he lost his feelings for me and was incompatible with me. We were broke up for a week and he came back to me because he was lonely and missed me. We never solved our main problem of us being incompatible so things were fine for a while. We were on our best behavior and we tried to patch things up (w/o truly discussing that we were incompatible). Our reconciliation lasted 5 months when I began to lose my feelings for him and pulled away and doomed our relationship. I lost feelings, pulled away, and he broke up with me. I learned a lesson from that relationship that if you are fundamentally uncompatible, there is NO way that a relationship can work out and sometimes when we break up, it's for the better, because when/if we get back together without working on the issues, the relationship will head down the breakup road again.

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