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Ewww I have to see him tonight

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At a meeting, but it will only be for 30-45 minutes. Some of our mutual friends will be at this meeting and I know they will all go out after for beers, they go out all the time, I used to go too, and that's also bothering me. Especially the 22-yr old married co-worker, that 'helped' him through his breakup with me, and helped him set up his myspace page, barf.


And this weekend we are all involved in a work charity event, and I know the whole group will go out afterwards too, and they won't invite me, because they think they are doing me a favor until I'm "emotionally healthy". Screw them, who are they to "diagnose" me?


Anybody have pointers on how to carry myself tonight and this weekend? I want this to be over with and go forward with grace & dignity and get out of the pain. We were together 3.5 years and he dumped me 9 weeks ago.



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I concur with Dako, alcohol reduces inhibitions, so you are bound to act a certain way or say certain things that you may regret later.


How about making it a movie night, and just enjoy yourself, or invite some friends over.


It's best not to intoxicate yourself even the slightest until your wounds heal.


Hugs, Rose

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If there's any way of skipping this charity event, do it. I don't see reason to show up for a torture session/charity event.


If you can't skip it, make plans afterwards to do something with a friend or find something to keep you busy. What do you enjoy doing? If it's watching a DVD, doing some type of physical activity, shopping, whatever it is - make plans and follow through.

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My emotions are still raw...we all work together albeit in another location (thank goodness) and I hear his name everyday, and all I have to do is drive by the local hangout 2 blocks away after work and he is usually there. I know...don't drive by!


I'm also feeling anxious because I just checked out his myspace page for the first time today...I know another Do Not Do!


We had a clique that did everything together; went on trips; bbq's at each other's homes, holiday parties. And the after work bar scene a-l-w-a-y-s. And this clique continues on, just without me.


I've been trying to take good care of myself, lost almost 20 lbs, been working out every day....I know I am just jealous that they all still hang around together like I never existed.


But this is my life now and I need to move forward....believe me there have been a few instances where I showed up and the watering hole and tried to be "just one of the gang" hanging out and always left in tears. Or driving by and waving at all of them in there, geez how humiliating!


My story is the same as everybody's.....dumped...did the begging, crying, pleading, sex-with-the ex, and finally stopped all contact 9 weeks ago. He still emails me about work things that he could get from anybody else, and that would give me hope.


I'm stinging right now because he emailed me last Thursday and it wasn't just about work, all chatty about stuff then asked to get his paycheck early and called in sick on Friday! And he is a manager, not good. The 22-yr old married friend already had this day scheduled off so I was very torn all day. If they are having an affair it's none of my business.


I just need to move forward, and calm down a little before this meeting.


I don't want to be fake, just show him/everyone that I'm ok and cool.


Thanks All!

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majord23, you're right....I want to do something to take my mind off the fact that they will all be hanging out after the meeting tonight; and Saturday. And Halloween, Christmans, NYE, his birthday....life goes on


I've been working out every day (easy to lose the pounds when you don't drink beer every night!), started to knit myself an Aran sweater with a very difficult pattern, helped my widowed mother find and move to an assisted living facility, am in the process of emptying 50 yrs worth of stuff to sell the 100-yr old family home...and going to San Diego in 3 weeks for a game (NFL baby!) so I'm not sitting at home crying...well most of the time


I just needed a pep talk for tonight, I know I will get over him.....and I know I will never date a co-worker again. We were friends first, but we can't be friends again until I am over him, I'm thinking next year some time.

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