Jump to content

NiceGuy24
 Share

Recommended Posts

seems i post a lot here no huh? lol. Well I was thinking about it and i dont like how my g/f hangs out with her ex boyfriend. I dont care about anyother guy but her ex bugs me. It bugs me becuase i know how he feels about her and it doesnt help. She is really hard to talk to, she is a very stubborn person and i tried to bring this up to her that i dont like the fact that they hang out alone but i just dropped it becuase i didnt want it to end in a fight. I trust her and all but I have been told im not wrong for feeling this way becuase of him. What should i do. How do i bring it up to her that i dont like them hanging out alone?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You said it right there...

 

Trust her. Thats all that matters. You have no right to tell her who she can hang out with. Even if you were able to...would you honestly feel righta bout stripping someone of that independance.

 

You can tell her how you feel..but caveat it by saying..its not a suggestion for a course of action, just an observation.

 

Never make her feel like she has to choose between you and her friend. That will come when you guys are stuck on a cliff and she can only save one of you. For now...just be happy she is with YOU!. If you can't accept this...then trust is not the only issue you have..and you need to work that within yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

NiceGuy - It seems to me - and I'll be blunt...

 

she may be trustworthy and you may not want to fight but those are NOT the issues.

 

This ISSUE is that you are in a relationship with a girl you DON'T feel comfortable talking honeslty with. If you can't even tell her how you truly feel about how a behaviour of hers effects you, there are bigger issues.

 

Maybe you don't think she will respect your wishes of not hanging around him - NOT COOL

 

Maybe you are nervous she will freak out at you for telling her what to do - NOT COOL

 

You should be able to tell your own gf how you feel.

 

Good luck dude....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

NiceGuy - It seems to me - and I'll be blunt...

 

she may be trustworthy and you may not want to fight but those are NOT the issues.

 

This ISSUE is that you are in a relationship with a girl you DON'T feel comfortable talking honeslty with. If you can't even tell her how you truly feel about how a behaviour of hers effects you, there are bigger issues.

 

Maybe you don't think she will respect your wishes of not hanging around him - NOT COOL

 

Maybe you are nervous she will freak out at you for telling her what to do - NOT COOL

 

You should be able to tell your own gf how you feel.

 

Good luck dude....

 

 

 

I can talk to her thats the thing, but latelt when i bring up things it ends in a face. in other words im trying to find a way to make it clear that i dont like it all that much that she is with him ALONE when he has feelings for her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't try dude. Just MAKE it clear. Tell her straight up - I don't like it. She either respects you and stops or you respect yourself and show her a consequence. Its ok for you to hold her responsible for her behaviour. If she's acting a way that is uncomfortable to you or disrespects you, she HAS to change it or you will NOT tolerate it.

 

I'm not talking about this as you are a parent and she is a child and you have to punish her. I'm saying that you should have certain standards for what you will allow people to do to you and when someone violates that - there WILL be consequences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You bring it up straight and stop being afraid of the fight because addressing this is necessary for you to survive. It's obvious that this is a test and if you don't stick up for yourself and what you want, she's gonna think that you're weak and don't care about her.

 

It's gonna come down to either you or him, so best to get this cleared up asap.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't try dude. Just MAKE it clear. Tell her straight up - I don't like it. She either respects you and stops or you respect yourself and show her a consequence. Its ok for you to hold her responsible for her behaviour. If she's acting a way that is uncomfortable to you or disrespects you, she HAS to change it or you will NOT tolerate it.

 

I'm not talking about this as you are a parent and she is a child and you have to punish her. I'm saying that you should have certain standards for what you will allow people to do to you and when someone violates that - there WILL be consequences.

 

 

I agree. It fuels and creates insecurity. If you feel that this is disrespectful and it creates worry, your relationship will suffer. It is completely acceptable for you to disagree with this friendship.

 

I wouldn't deal with it. If my bf wanted to hang out with any of his "exs" alone, I'd have a problem with it. I think if someone loves us and wants to be with us, they would be considerate of our feelings and respect us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...