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Am I too OLD for him?


Replaceme
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Okay - simple story - I like him , he likes me ( well. i think)

anyway we flirt allot , we both are single , one big problem , i feel.

He's 9 , yes NINE years younger than me. I am 35 - he is 26.

 

any thoughts? I like him allot , but maybe it would never work because of our age difference? what do you all think?

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Nah, not too old. As long as he is at least 21.

 

Of course I refuse to date someone, where someone might ask, "oh, is this your dad?" Uh-uh, not gonna happen'.

 

I know this older woman who I think likes me, but I don't know if I want to pursue it. I have always been with woman that are around my age.

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When I met my husband, I was 37. He was 26.

 

He proposed a week after our first date. That was about 5 years ago. We've been married for 4.5 years, no problems here.

 

Coupla questions to think about before you get into an age gap realtionship, though

 

>How much do the opinions of family/friends matter to you? How about outside observers?

 

If they matter a lot, you may not want to go there. F'rinstance, with me, I could give a flying squirrel about what other people think about me or my choices...they're not living my life. But I do know not everyone's like that, and some people are more sensitive to the opinions of others.

 

>What, exactly, about the age difference bothers you?

 

The other day, I replied to a thread a gal posted about an older guy who was interested in her. One of her concerns was having kids with the guy and he would be in his 60's when the kids were teenagers. I told her she's worrying prematurely...they hadn't even gone on a date yet. They could date a few times and find they weren't really that compatible. So make sure your concerns are realistic and not a matter of putting the cart before the horse.

 

>If he was the same age as you, would you still be hesitating?

 

He is who he is. His age is only a small part of that.

 

Any relationship you get into involves some degree of risk, so in that respect an age gap relationship is no different. I wrongly assumed that a 26 year old guy would be immature and not appropriate to have a relationship with. Then again, I also assumed that my ex (who was 18 years older than me) would be more mature and know better than to be screwing around while he was in a (supposedly) monogamous relationship.

 

You really have to go by who he is....and that's more than his chronological age.

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Okay - simple story - I like him , he likes me ( well. i think)

anyway we flirt allot , we both are single , one big problem , i feel.

He's 9 , yes NINE years younger than me. I am 35 - he is 26.

 

any thoughts? I like him allot , but maybe it would never work because of our age difference? what do you all think?

 

 

Phew!!! I read that the first time I thought your boyfriend was 9 years old!!!!!! LOL.

 

Well things like that do work!!!!

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i am so nervous around him , i swear i act like an idiot - today a co-worker said " act your age" after a silly laugh fest with him. He is only working in our office this week - so after Friday , if he doesnt ask me out - i think i will ask him out.

God it feels so weird - he acts mature - more than me - geez i act like a crazy women around him - but 9 years!!!!

geez

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Hate to be the party pooper, but if it was me, I'd think twice. If you're just talking about casual dating, by all means, go for it. Have fun, don't bother reading on.

 

However if you're starting something with the view to it maybe being permanent, read on....

 

The age difference would be a factor if you want to have children with him.

 

Also, if he's the sort of guy who's attracted to women predominately based on their appearance, consider this: men sometimes do leave their partners for younger women as they get older. It sux. He can quite reasonably have a relationship with someone ten years younger than him, which would make her twenty years younger than you. When you're 45, will you feel insecure about him falling for a 25 year old?

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The thing is i have dated for 35 years - and there is always that chance.

ALWAYS - not to mention i look 25 years old myself - thats the other thing , i dont think he knows my age.

i always get carded - always get shocked looks when i say i am 35 - everyone always freaks outt - the thing about him leaving doesnt bother me - look at these boards for instance - there is always a chance of one person leaving the relationship for some reason or another. again look at the breaking up posts on this web site alone.

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If he acts/seems so mature, let HIM ask YOU out... don't you think? Are you prepared if he says "no"? Or 'yes", then who plans the date, do you want to be the one leading the dance, won't that make him feel even younger? He's not too young for you, but at least give him a chance to ask you out... Good luck and don't worry about the age difference, or what anyone else thinks.. do what is best for you.

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The fact that this is even taboo frustrates me... and yet i am positive that i would be hesitant as well Replaceme. although i think i would get over it quick. At least i hope i would!!!

 

Men date younger women all the time and i never blink an eye and honestly older women dating younger men does not bother me either- i think it just boils down to our comfort level in a relationship...

 

My best guy friend is 26 and i am 32- we share so many intrests and have altogether too much fun. While i am no where near the dating scene yet i really can't fathom dating someone that is only 10 years older then my oldest son! The thing that irritates me the most is my soon to be ex made a comment about our friendship and yet the girl he cheated with was 25 and he is 37!!! Doubles standards chafe my hide!!!!!

 

i say go for it and have fun girlie!

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Dear "Replaceme" Then wait for just that, you deserve a "man who has the courage and "want" to step up to the plate and ask YOU out"... if he doesn't, then he IS TOO YOUNG for you, plain and simple, if he does on the other hand have the courage and want to ask you out, he will, and then he's a lucky guy.. It's all about not bending your standards too much to fit into someone else's lifestyle only to find out in the long run you've established a pattern that is NOT "for you" in the first place. So for now, enjoy the flirtation, look great at work, have fun, and let fate step in or not.. the best is right ahead of you either way.. you're still very young yourself, so remember he's not the only fish in the sea, and you are only interested in a man who can step up and ask you out in the first place... right? right!

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If you don't feel weird or anything going out with a guy that much younger and he doesn't mind either then go for it!

Personally i don't like big age gaps (even when the guy is older), but that's just me!

If you don't feel old around him, or he doesn't seem too immature, then what's wrong with it?

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