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I don´t quite get the point of dating...


Baby Carrot
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Like... what´s the whole point? Is it what single people do or what?

 

Is it a hobbie?

 

Something you do for fun?

 

Something you do in order to finally find your significant other?

 

Is life more exciting when you´re going out on dates?

 

Is it something you should do if you´re horny and don´t want strings attached?

 

I know, this sounds totally like Basic Dating 101 but honestly, I´ve never "dated"... I´m like a dating virgin.

 

Should I start Sexandthecity dating already? Seems kind of fun. Would you recommend it? How should I lose my dating virginity, any suggestions?

 

BTW, Im a 23 year old female.

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Dating is fun

Meeting people is fun

Getting to know someone is fun

Bragging to your friends about your hot date is fun

Going new places is fun

Broadening your horizons is fun

Becoming attracted to someone is fun

Finding out they feel the same about you is fun

Falling in love is fun

Getting your heart broken is .... oh wait nevermind....anyway the above ones makes it all worthwhile.

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Is it what single people do or what?

 

Is it a hobbie?

 

Something you do for fun?

 

Something you do in order to finally find your significant other?

 

Is life more exciting when you´re going out on dates?

 

Is it something you should do if you´re horny and don´t want strings attached?

 

Yes. All of the above.

 

If I remember correctly, you do not live in the United States. Your lack of familiarity with the concept of dating may be due to cultural differences. But that seems to be the way we do the mating game here. It's got its good and bad points, but no system is perfect.

 

When it's good, it's fun...when it's bad, staying at home and picking at your toenails is more fun/entertaining.

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I'd say that the reasons for dating vary from person to person... and even during the course of a relationship. All of the reasons you listed and more...

 

For me, I see dating as a way to get to know someone and hopefully have fun doing some goofy activity - or maybe just sharing a meal.

 

Once in a relationship, dating might include a little more emotional investment - but then much later on, after kids, dating becomes a way to get out and away from the little boogars!

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Like... what´s the whole point? Is it what single people do or what?

 

Is it a hobbie?

 

Something you do for fun?

 

Something you do in order to finally find your significant other?

 

Is life more exciting when you´re going out on dates?

 

Is it something you should do if you´re horny and don´t want strings attached?

 

I know, this sounds totally like Basic Dating 101 but honestly, I´ve never "dated"... I´m like a dating virgin.

 

Should I start Sexandthecity dating already? Seems kind of fun. Would you recommend it? How should I lose my dating virginity, any suggestions?

 

BTW, Im a 23 year old female.

Dating means different things to different people. For example the only one on this list that fits me is the one about finding a significant other. I don't think dating is fun, and I don't think it's a hobbie and I don't think it's all that exciting. I even quit dating for several years simply because I've already had WAY more of it than I want. I think you should search inwardly and honestly to find out what it means to you, and not go by what others are doing, because they aren't you and aren't living your life. And then date those types who are compatible with what you discover you want. For instance, if you find you're only interested in finding a significant other, then dating someone who regards it as fun, or a hobbie, might not be a good idea. Get in touch with yourself and then stay true to yourself. Good luck.

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Well crap, that's what I'm competing with? Picking at toenails? I'm toast!

 

Grin... I was thinking more along the lines of picking the lint out of my navel.

 

 

I guess the reason for dating are legion. I think it depends on where you are in your life. If you are like me... been burned, beaten and stomped on, ending in Divorce.... then its companionship that you are after. Hugs and snuggles and.... lol... spending time with someone you have an affinity for.

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I'm not fully accross the cultural thing of "dating" either but I always equate it with sort of being the thing you do between meeting or being friends and being in a relationship? Or does it extend into the relationship?

 

Anyway, if my version is correct (?) then if you don't date, how do you get into a relationship? Just wake up and you are in one?

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Think of dating as an opportunity to spend time with someone you want to get to know.

 

To me dating is awesome (I had two dates this past Sunday, both were pretty much rocked!!!). I love getting to know people, and showing new people how great of a person I am. I also enjoy honing my conversation skills and seeing where I need to do some self improvement.

 

The downside is that I don't like to hurt other peoples feelings and if I don't decide to carry a relationship forward, I find it hard to do the right thing.

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I agree that dating means different things to different people.

 

For me, dating is more like "innocent clean fun". I don't know if many people know what it means these days, I'm not talking about getting drunk and pulling your pants down or anything. I'm talking about just going out to get to know someone, have fun and laugh.

 

After a while though, you may start to get bored of dating random people just to date.

 

Most times, if you do date, around the 3rd or 4rth date, that's when the guy will usually ask to be exclusive, if you're sending him the right signals. If you send him obvious signals like "Ew. You're a creep" and turn dates down consistantly, he may get the clue.

 

I do admit, dating may get pretty sticky, especially when your intention is just to go out and have fun just to get to know someone, and the other person's intent is to be in a relationship. That's the other drawback I can think of..

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Well..like everything in life, dating is a risk. Your heart may get hurt, but that's why it's so hard finding that 'right' person.

 

I know, it sucks. I agree. I feel guilty, and that's why it's hard for me to want to go out on dates just for the heck of it. No point in stringing others along, just because you just want to date...And, sometimes, there's no point in dating when you're still a bit wounded inside.

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Anyway, if my version is correct (?) then if you don't date, how do you get into a relationship? Just wake up and you are in one?

Funny that you should mention that, cause this morning I woke up and there was this lovely man in my bed. I have no idea where he came from but who cares, he's gorgeous, well behaved, we're perfect for each other and we're in love. I had my doubts, but apparently the date fairy does in fact exist.

Next time I'm in LA, you and I'll hafta go out on a date. It'll change your mind for sure

Okay, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

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Grin... I was thinking more along the lines of picking the lint out of my navel.

 

 

I guess the reason for dating are legion. I think it depends on where you are in your life. If you are like me... been burned, beaten and stomped on, ending in Divorce.... then its companionship that you are after. Hugs and snuggles and.... lol... spending time with someone you have an affinity for.

 

burned, yep.

beaten, yep.

stomped on, yep.

ending in divorce? haven't had the chance yet, but I'd have to say divorce is definitely near #1 in my top 5 greatest fears, right up there with growing old lonely.

 

I am after companionship, hugs, snuggles...

*sigh*

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I guess the reason for dating are legion. I think it depends on where you are in your life. If you are like me... been burned, beaten and stomped on, ending in Divorce.... then its companionship that you are after. Hugs and snuggles and.... lol... spending time with someone you have an affinity for.

I don't even think one has to get burned, beaten, etc, to not be interested in dating just for fun. No matter how far back in memory I go, (even as young as 5 or 6) I can only ever remember thinking of dating as a way of looking for a meaningful long-term relationship, marriage, companionship, etc. Of course that was back in the dinosaur days when dating as a way of "entertainment" was a less prevalent consideration for most people. Getting married at 18-22 was VERY common, so the "fun" dates were often overwith relatively early in a person's life. Nowadays there seems to be all these OTHER reasons for dating, and the tricky part now is finding someone whose dating agenda is the same as yours.

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Thank so much for your insight guys!!!

 

SHES2SMART

Yeah, I'm in Latin America. And where I live people is not that open and light about that things. Guys are picky and they basically ignore you if you don't look like a Maxim model. And if you do, they think ur a hooker. Plus everyone's strictly 100% hetero. Pretty lame uh?

 

MISS M

I used to think dating was also exclusively for finding a significant other. So I got stucked with this control freak dude for nearly 5 years and ended up realizing I would have been better off single and dating just for fun. I agree nowdays is way more trickier to date, you really need to have a way of finding out if the person you're dating has the same 'agenda' you do. But still fun dating is like uncharted territory for me, and that's why is beginning to seem appealing I guess. I feel free to decide for the first time ever. Thanks sweetie!

 

RED QUEEN

Yeah, I kind of agree the whole dating thing sucks. But when I'm not at work I'm home and I'm kind of bored, at least I'll get a free meal on the mall or something.

 

ELLIE

For me dating is going out with someone you wanna get to know better. And that you are attracted to. I've never went out on a date with someone I'm genuinely attracted to. So is kind of exciting thinking I might be able to start doing that for the first tiime in my life. Is something I should have started doing years ago, that's why I feel like a virgin, dating for the very first time.

 

BILLY JEAN

That's a tough one. How to gently dismiss a guy u really don't want a relationship with? Uhhh Im baaaad for that kind of things.

 

KEVIN

If you get to a point where you just want to have some mindless fun and maybe 'get some' there's no risk of getting hurt. If you're a tender puppy waiting to find the right one... then your heart will end up in a blender several times. Guess is a matter of being a little bit more cynical...

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Dating is so much fun. It's my favorite hobby. Especially when you don't take yourself or your date too seriously, and if you don't expect anything out of it. It's also fun to perform social experiments on your dates and to poke fun of them (without them knowing it). It's free supper and it makes you feel good about yourself when they get all gaga over you.

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