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Need for advice


NiceGuy24
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Ive been posting topics a lot lately and im sorry if it's getting annoying im just trying to make the best out of the relationship I'm in and make everything run smoothly. Would I be wrong when I say as you grow more attatched to someone you just naturally become overprotective of that person. Ive noticed lately that ive been like this with my girlfriend and the noly conclusion i can come to is becuase, this past month my Dad who is only 42 is having heart problems. So that's been on my mind 24/7 and I'm just affriad im goig to lose him becuase they have yet to find outwhats wrong with him. In my opinion this plays in with my girlfriend, i dont mean to but i keep a lot of stuff in and it tends to overboil and i guess ina way you could say im taking it out on her on the smallest stupidest things. And i dont mean to. I think this because before my dad started having these problems me and her were absolutely perfect but then i started looking at the negatives and what could end us other then looking up like i usually do. Do you have any advice for me? This may have been really confusing to read, and I apologize, i'm feeling a bit under the weather and extremely tired.

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You are under a lot of understandable stress because of your father's condition. You will need to make a conscious effort not to take things out on her. She will want to help and be there for you, but if you shut her out and continually blow up at her for the small stuff... she will begin to resent you for it.

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Hey NiceGuy,

 

You just have to take it easy. I have a similar problem by looking at the negatives. There have been so much horrible experiences from my past, that I doubt my relationship with my current boyfriend. People tell me, "Stop being so negative!". But, how exactly can I stop? I just can't stop a feeling... I think of the negatives everyday and it's eating me up inside. Lately, I've mellowed out a bit with all the bad stuff that "may" happen. I thought to myself to just see where it takes me. Relationships can be seen as a scientific experiment. You have to go through the whole procedure to see the ending result, correct? If you stop midway during the process, then you will never know the result. Sure there will be difficulties during the procedure, but there is usually a way to overcome it. Keep on trying. Don't give up. It will be harder for you considering you have your father to worry about, but in the end, you'll be glad you stayed with your girlfriend. She needs you and you need her. I hope all goes well with your father.

 

AngelEyez

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OP and Angel- Just try to remember the positives. it takes a lot of mental effort, but when you feel a negative thought coming on, do your best to push it away with a happy thought. I think about negative things all the time too, and finally one day I just broke down, because thinking about the negative things, particularly right before I went to sleep or after I woke up in the morning, really wears your soul down. That trick seems to work, just takes some effort, and a little time for it to become really effective. Op- I hope that they figure out what is wrong with your Dad, until then, remember to communicate your feelings to your gf (I hold things in too, so i know it's easy to forget) and whoever else, when you need to talk or vent

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COMMUNICATE!!! Make sure you tell your girl exactly what you have told us, let her know you're having a bit of stress and you are so sorry if and when you take it out on her, and that you are "working on this" and hoping she will understand.. tell her the truth, and she will feel better and so will you... It's natural that you feel so much uneasiness, but try to keep it in perspective and it always help to "talk it out" with her.. it will help you build a stronger foundation for your love.

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