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Need some advice on coping with jealousy.


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Ive been seeing this girl for about 2 weeks, and talking with her online for 2 months before that.. We both like eachother and all that so its not about that.

 

This is the first girl ive dated that i get jealous over her guy friends. Shes a very touchy person with hugs and all that with all her friends, guy or girl.

 

Im not sure if its because im used to non-touchy type people?

 

Also IMO shes a really attractive looking girl the most attractive ive dated, and im wondering if thats also making me insecure about her being around other guys..

 

I do have a great relationship with her right now, i can talk to her very easily and i have said ive got slight jealousy going on with her guy friends, and she very comfortabley assured me that she only has feelings for me, and she does not have feelings for anyone else.

 

Things arent officially exclusive between us yet, but neither of us are going to run away from eachother anytime soon... Im wondering if i just hurry up and make it official it will take some pressure off?? (i want us to be "officially" exclusive so im ready to do so..)

 

I just need some helpful advice here, ive never had to deal with jealousy before in a relationship...

 

Is it a bad sign to be jealous?

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Yes, its a big turn off. Turn jealousy into a joking matter and its cool.

 

Is it bad that I'm jealous of my roommate, that all she does is sit around the house all day and do nothing but get money from parents and not even potty train or pay attention to her puppy much, while I work everyday just to try and live my life in the same house?

 

I don't understand how people do it.

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i don't blame you for being jealous. also, i know a number of attractive girls who are "touchy" becuase they can be! ugly girls aren't touchy, becuase when they were teenagers they noticed a pattern with touching and cringing! maybe she likes attention. but back to the point, i can't think of one touchy-girl friend of mine who has been in a long-term successful relationship. i think there is a bit of respect that needs to be shown to the person you're with, and when girls do that crap they are stringing you like a puppet. imagine if you pulled that crap with other girls? if you are in this for the short-term (having fun) then what do you care, she's going home with you, right? but if you really like her, i'd suck it up for a little bit before rushing to "exclusivity." then, when it happens naturally and you know each other better, i would bring it up. it won't be fun, but imagine feeling jealous everytime you guys go out! it would suck. if that is the way she is, maybe you guys weren't meant to be, since it's hard to change people and for people to change themselves.

bottom line: you're not wrong for feeling jealous... maybe find a girl who will be focused on you more?

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It's necessary to be jealous, that's one of the ways you show someone that you care about them. So feel free to feel this way with no guilt, just don't go overboard like some guys do. As for the guy friends stuff, you have to get a feel for what's appropriate and what is not. If you think it's your insecurities are causing the jealousy, then you need to check yourself. But if something seems really inappropriate, then you need to address it.

 

Nothing wrong with progressing the relationship. You're a man who knows what he wants, so go out and get it.

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This is the first girl ive dated that i get jealous over her guy friends. Shes a very touchy person with hugs and all that with all her friends, guy or girl.

 

Im not sure if its because im used to non-touchy type people?

 

Hmm, not sure what you mean by "all that," but where I live, it's normal for friends to hug each other hello and good-bye. It's even expected. I hug guy friends all the time (and girls), and my boyfriend hugs female friends. It's not a big deal, and not something to be jealous of, in my opinion. Since you mentioned she is huggy/touchy with female friends as well, I really don't think you should be worried.

 

Also IMO shes a really attractive looking girl the most attractive ive dated, and im wondering if thats also making me insecure about her being around other guys..

 

I think that might have a lot to do with it.

 

Perhaps making things exclusive WILL make you feel a bit better. Not sure. But, at the moment, I don't think you need to feel jealous/insecure, because she HAS said she is into only you right now!

 

Good luck!

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Some Facts:

 

1) She will never change. If she is touchy, she will always be touchy.

2) If she is attractive, outgoing AND touchy, you are probably going to have one heck of a fight on your hands keeping her/her faithful.

3) Going out with someone you perceive to be much more attractive than either yourself OR people you've previously been out with does raise the jealousy rate. It's a natural and to-be-expected thing.

4) Essentially - goodlooking, touchy girl with guy friends she sees regularly - I wouldn't go there if you paid me...I'm cautioning you, gaving been both that girl and someone going out with that girl.

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