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Why hasn't he asked for my phone number?


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For the past couple months I've been making it my #1 priority to move on and meet new people.


I randomly drop into the local pub where I've met a great guy. He bartends there. I've been in 4 or 5 times. Usually once a week, some times every other week. He's made it crystal clear that he likes me. He's very protective, attentive & confident. So I wonder why he hasn't asked for my phone number yet?

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Most bartenders are gracious and attentive to their clientele. Male bartenders are typically a bit "protective" of female clientele, as well.


And, most bartenders don't hit on their clientele. They may flirt a bit, but they're not asking for many, if any, phone numbers. It's unprofessional.


So, with that in mind, if you're still absolutely sure he's interested, then I would also ask this question:


Why haven't you asked for his?
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you may as well ask him. perhaps he doesn't want to ask you for your number just in case you reject him and you complain to management that he is harassing you when you just wanted to get a drink. I don't know - it's possible! or it is possible he is just being flirty and friendly for the tips, not because he is interested. at least if you ask, you'll have your answer for sure.

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Oops, sorry for keeping you enotaloners in the dark about the details...


Hi Scout,


I'm not buying the whole "house policy rules" argument as...

He has come around the bar and kissed me goodnight twice making absolutely no effort to hide his feelings from me or the crowd. On the contrary, he seems to want everyone to know that he likes me. Both times it was a Saturday night and the place was packed out.


Thanks shikashika,


But I don't think he's shy because...

He has blatantly stated that he wants to know everything about me and he finds me exceptionally beautiful. He is genuinely caring, self-confident, good looking and popular.


Annie24, I thought like you at first but...


I don't think he's a player because...

Yeah, he flirts with me alot. But, it's more than that. He has stated boldly that I am his territory and that every man who comes in the bar will respect that. And, If any of them even come near me, he comes my way and puts his arm around me to show that I'm not available. Oh yea, he buys my drinks and won't take my tips.


Lastly DN....


If I've learned one thing from the time I've spent on this board...It is to let the man do the chasing. I am content to be the catch. But still perplexed.

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maybe he has a long-distance girlfriend?


Nope, got that squared away first. said he didn't have a gf. double-checked that with a couple of the older gents. Everyone I've met at the bar-male and female think he's a great guy. I find him very kind and considerate. Last nite he said he hasn't had a day off work in 6 mos, works 2 jobs, 7 days/wk.

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ah, oops! i misread!!!! I thought you said 5 times a week!


in that case, if you've only seen him 5 times, I really do bet that he might be interested, and can flirt openly, but may be trying to be professional in not asking out the customers. I think that flirting can be considered professional behavior for a bartender - afterall, making the customers happy is part of their job. but, asking them out can offend many so that really might be a line they may not want to cross unless they are 200% sure that you will not get upset and report them.


ask him out! why not? i think you don't have anything to lose here.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Bartenders, waiters, and waitresses are very professionally friendly if theyr'e good at their job. That makes it very difficult to know if they really like you.


I'm not saying you are wrong about him liking you. I'm just saying, how can you be sure?


Also, bartenders get a huge quantity of the opposite sex after them. Just a thought.


Perhaps you should just ask him out. Then see what happens.

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Maybe he doesn't like using the phone. I know I hate it, lol. Even when people ask for my number I tell them I rarely use it. I just give them my AIM address instead.


Has he asked for your e-mail or anything? He may just really hate the phone..


But if that's not the case, try asking for his instead.

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