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Did I do the right thing?


The_man
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OK, Me again! I have made a couple of threads about this girl I like already. About two weeks ago, I forced my self to ask for her email address so I could add her to msn. I don't know why I was worrying so much. I tried not to think about and tried to ask for her email like normal conversation. She gave it to me, no questions asked and it wasn't okward fealing when I asked her, Which is good. I was talking to her on msn a few days later, I wanted to tell her that I like her because I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted her to know. I didn't want to randomly say I like you so I kindof started up a conversation relating to the subject. Kind of like "I bet you like so and so" In a funny way. I then told her I liked her and she thought it was just a joke she said "hahaha, all jokes " I then said "right...jokes...right" She just laughed again. She kept asking me if I like this girl and this other girl, I then said "I told you, I like you!" She replied with "oh, i thought you were joking "

I told her no, and then she said that was sweet with a smily beside it. Then i said "I hope that wasn't to okward" she replied with "no it wasnt, thats very sweet " I then told her "people are right, you are a nice girl!" She said what people and put an embarresed smily. I told her a few people who said that and she thanked me alot for the compliment. after about half an hour of talking about other stuff she said she had to go and said "thanks so much for talking to me, see you at school" and put another smily beside that.

 

Do you guys think it was a good idea to tell her i like her??

Sorry for rambling!

Thanks!

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Horrible HORRIBLE HORRIBLE idea... especially over msn

 

What you hear:

"no it wasnt, thats very sweet"

What she means:

"you are weak. I now own you... HAHAHA"

 

Somehow you need to reverse this... Next time you see her, dont ackleknowledge her. Or, failing that, tease her about what she is wearing/saying/doing.

You have to do something to put her back below you.

 

Yes, Im sure none of this sounds logical (it isnt) but do it anyway...

 

DONT be there for her

DONT give her things

DONT tell her you like her - ever

 

DO tease her

DO pretend you dont like her

DO be confident around her

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Ta-ree, if some guy came up and said that he likes you, would be more or less attracted to him?

 

Dont message her again The-Man. Talk to her in person, but dont mention what you said.

 

She knows you like her now

Exactly. She knows she likes him, so the chase is over. She has the power now, and there is no challenge for matt.

she wasn't disgusted, didn't blow you off, didn't really say much.

She also isnt any more attracted...

 

As for being harsh, its better to be harsh than to try and pretend that any of what Matt did was right...

1) never tell a girl you like her...

2) ...especially not on msn

3) he didnt ask her out earlier

4) dont spend a long time talking on msn - instant friendzone

 

So, sorry for being harsh, but it is best you learn early, rather than late. No matter how you learn...

 

 

 

*btw, dont take too much notice of what women say when it comes to relationships. They dont know what they want...

*and I mean no offence by saying that, its just true...

 

 

*rather than reply to the next two posts, Ill just bold what I said before...

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Ta-ree, if some guy came up and said that he likes you, would be more or less attracted to him?

 

To be honest, albeit it shallow - it totally depends on whether or not I thought he was cute. But he didn't go up to her, he shyly messaged it to her. Which is always easier to swallow than someone "coming up to me" and saying it.

 

Take it from me, play it "cool" for a while, but message her again. Later...

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Hey The_Man,

 

I think it was a good idea to tell her you like her. Maybe saying it in person would have been better than on-line, but I'm sure she got the point. That's all that matters, right? I don't think you should be worried about if it was a good idea to tell her or not, but what to do next. If she's interested, she'll start talking to you more, or she'll start another on-line conversation, unless she's shy. Goodluck!

 

AngelEyez

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Horrible HORRIBLE HORRIBLE idea... especially over msn

 

What you hear:

"no it wasnt, thats very sweet"

What she means:

"you are weak. I now own you... HAHAHA"

 

Somehow you need to reverse this... Next time you see her, dont ackleknowledge her. Or, failing that, tease her about what she is wearing/saying/doing.

You have to do something to put her back below you.

 

Yes, Im sure none of this sounds logical (it isnt) but do it anyway...

 

DONT be there for her

DONT give her things

DONT tell her you like her - ever

 

DO tease her

DO pretend you dont like her

DO be confident around her

 

 

Gggg Thanks man, i feel like an idiot now. I was just asking if it was a good idea to tell her. I properly won't even ask her out anways...

Now that you put it that way...

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bhzmafia is the closest to being right.

 

First off "The man", you NEVER admit, confess, reveal, etc to a girl you fancy that you like her with words, much less over instant messaging. You let a girl know you like her by ACTIONS.

 

What you did was basically throw all of your cards onto the table and discarded any mystery or challenge about yourself. You basically said, "I'm here if you want me!" and that is no fun at all. Plus, you didn't even do this in person, you hid behind a computer to do it, which excudes weakness. It shows just how much you are in this when she probably hasn't given you much of a thought yet. That's way too much, much too soon.

 

You should read the link in my sig, it has a lot of what you should and shouldn't do, but to sum it up...

 

If you like a girl you have to get to the point quick. First impressions are HUGE and if your first impression is that you want to be friends or are afraid of her, then you will likely be put into the "just friends" category and she will call on you only when she needs a ride, needs attention, or is bored.

How do you make a good impression? Be fun! Girls, like guys, LOVE FUN. Fun isn't walking up to someone and saying, "How about this weather?" Fun is being flirty, TEASING her, MAKING FUN of her. I bet she is a pretty girl and she probably has a lot of guys doing things for her, being overly nice, etc. When was the last time a guy walked up and started teasing her about something? I'm not talking about being rude, I'm talking about teasing. Of course you don't walk up and tell her she looks fat, that woudl be rude, but tease her about how her shoes look, or a necklace, etc. Observe and tease. Observe and tease. It's fun this way. Make it look like-but don't say it-that she isn't good enough for you. She doesn't meet your standards. As long as you clearly deliver the message in a joking/teasing/friendly matter then you are being a successful flirt. Flirting is fun!

 

But that's not all. You can't be a pushover. You can't start doing things for her or giving her more attention than she needs. Play it cool.

 

You also need to get to the point. Within 3 meetings of a girl you need to ask her out on a DATE. No second guessing yourself or accepting a "friend date" because you don't do those. Your time is too valuable. It has to be a real date. Ask her out, tell her she seems cool and you'd like to take her to the park, or to dinner. (No movies-you can't talk and flirt at the movies). Give her a specific date and time and then pick her up. Don't ask what she wants to do, you need to exude confidence. ASSUME that she will love doing whatever it is that YOU want to do. Still, you can be gentlemanly and open doors, pull out chairs, etc, but this is YOUR date and you asked her on it. Have a plan and follow it.

 

At the end of the night if things are going well, KISS HER. Best time is usually right when you are parting.

 

Anyways, I hope that helped. Read the link in my sig!

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