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Apologizing to my ex but i still care for him..


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If you have read any of my previous posts then you would know that me and my boyfriend of 16 months broke up 2 weeks ago. It was because of his life choices and no motivation that lead me to end it. This is kind of long but i would love some advice.

 

Anyway, throughout the whole relationship i always felt like something was missing and ive figured out what it was. My ex before him. Me and him only dated for 8 months and i wasnt always the best girl friend to him. i was young and stupid at the time. Looking back i hate myself for how i treated him. Now that i am single it is killing me to see him with his new girlfriend of 10 months. I have known her for a long time but ive become extremely jealous. When i was with my boyfriend i wasnt as jealous, it was the kind where you arent jealous of her, but you just remember being "that girl" Now i am jealous of her and after 2 years want to take everything back.

 

I woke up early this morning because i couldnt sleep and wrote him this later. Im not sure if i should send it or not. Please let me know what you think and be honest. Dont worry about hurting my feelings. I've learned to hope for the best but expect the worst...

 

Tyler,

I need to tell you something. I dont know where this is all coming from or why i'm doing this now but i just feel like i need to tell you. I am writing it in a letter because it would be too hard to tell you to your face. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for 2 years ago. I'm sorry for treating you the way i did and never wanting to hang out with you. I hate myself for how everything ended between us. I remember the exact conversation we had that day. You called me after i acted horrible towards you that day and asked me if i was happy..and i didnt respond, just hung up. I never got to tell you that i was happy. It was just a mutual breakup. I guess it was for the best. I was just young and stupid and didnt know how to have a relationship. I regret it everyday that i let it end that way. I wonder all the time if i had said yes i was happy, would things be different? Were you happy? My guess is you werent. Im sorry for that. Now i know you and i have both moved on but a part of me never did because i never told you all this. I know this probably means nothing to you after 2 years and you're thinking i'm crazy. Or you're thinking you dont care or remember about any of this. I just wanted you to know that if i could go back and do it all over again then i would in a heart beat. I'm not looking for a response back or anything, if you choose to then thats ok too, but mostly i needed to do this so you knew i was sorry, for everything..

 

What do you all think? I'm not asking for him back or anything, im just apologizing because i feel terrible for hurting such a great guy. Yes the idea of getting back together is in my head but i know the chances are slim to none because he is already in a relationship. This just feels like something i should do..

 

Help

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I would avoid sending it because it seems by the writing style that you are fishing for a response.

 

He is with someone now and taken so why meddle in between?

 

I would send something like

"Tyler, I was thinking about you the other day and wanted to apologize for my behavior at the end of our relationship. I wish you a happy and beautiful future. Best wishes, Sarah"

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I didnt do it. I couldnt. yes i still care for him and want him to know that i am sorry but i feel like i would be sending the letter for all the wrong reasons. I feel bad about how i ended it but i was going to send this letter with the hope of getting back together with him. I realized that these feelings are coming back to me because 1. i am lonely and 2. next week would be our 2 year anniversary. I just have to deal with the fact that he has some one to love and i dont. I've also decided that this is the time in my life, to date around and have fun. In high school, i did that but was mostly concerned about having a steady boyfriend. Now that i am in college, im gonna live it up and meet fun, interesting people. =)

 

Just had to get that all off my chest. Thanks for all the advice.

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