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Is she doing this to ease her guilt? What shud I do? Confused


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brief history:

 

its been about 7 weeks since my ex broke up with me. she said she fell out of love with me.

 

i had proposed and she said yes and we were talking about marriage, kids, where to live etc etc etc everyday for the past week leading up to the break up. i knew she was texting some bloke from the pub where she worked and i confronted her a few times but she jus denied everything. she broke up with me on the friday over the phone about midnight. she then immediately jumped into a relationship with this bloke.

 

this bloke is 28 (shes 19 this week) and has a two yr old daughter. i know she wanted kids young and so did i and she had a few pregnancy scares whilst with me.

 

anyway. i heard from her briefly last week and again this week. she said she wants to be friends with me. i asked why and she said that we get on but cant be together. so anyways i agreed jus to save arguments sake (i know i know. shoudnt of done but decicded i am gonna wait for her to contact me if she does at all).

 

so its her bday next friday and she says that she wants me there because she would like to see me and her family have been asking after me. (i have been in contact with her mum but havent spoke to her for about 3 weeks. i have decided im not going to initiate anything). i sed that i dont think that wud be a good idea and she says she really wants me to come but if her new bloke asks anything she didnt invite me.

 

i have decided that i am not gonna go cause i know it wud set me back because i do still love her. i dont upset anymore jus think and dream about her alot still.

 

what do ppl make of this. i am confused. shud i send her a text or somthing seeing as tho we are "friends" or jus leave it.

 

cheers in advance

 

xen

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Aw xen, I'm sorry to hear about that, it must hurt like hell.

 

I couldn't say what might be going on in your ex's head, but I think it's out of order that she will not admit to her new bloke that she still wants you in her life (or at least at her birthday). She's basically asking you to lie about it for her, and it's disrespectful to you: what kind of 'friend' is she if she wants to hide the friendship?

 

I think you're right not to go to her birthday, it would make it harder for you to move on, and it might be really uncomfortable, especially if the new guy is there.

 

It probably isn't a good idea to text her either - NC is the best way to get over people (they say... I haven't actually ever been strong enough to maintain it myself!

 

I wish you strength and healing,

 

C

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