Roller coaster ride... sometimes getting tired of it...

[Blane151211]

It's a little less than 2 months since my ex broke up with me. He ended our 3 month relationship by means of leaving me a voicemail. I know it's only been 3 months... there really not much of an emotional investment there... but still, it hurts. I really liked him... I learned to love him... and I guess we're just not into the same wave length... Or maybe, forumers here that are familiar with my story are correct with what they think about my ex' real situation.

 

It's been a roller coaster ride for me. A few days, sometimes a week will go by that I'm doing good... great sometimes. I would think of my ex but later on would just shrug my shoulders and say, "OK! Time is up! Let it go...". Then a few days will follow, again, sometimes almost a week that I feel like I'm back to square one. I feel like I just can't let go of my ex... all the hurts, pains, and heartaches just comes back crashing through. Will have my crying session once more... I'll feel terrible once again and would hope that my ex will come back.

 

I didn't realize that I still have 5 messages from him on my answering machine and 1 message from my voicemail. The 1 from my voicemail is the one where he broke up with me. 4 out of those messages from my answering machine are very nice ones. They are messages when we are still very much together. 1 of them is kind of a nasty message... that's after the last huge fight he picked up with me. He was still mad and although I left him a nice message a few minutes after he called me, he still managed to leave me a nasty one. I admit that up to this point, I still haven't had the courage to delete those messages. I admit... somehow, I am still holding on to this false hopes. I know we are not getting back together... both of us are doing NC right now. Neither of us have broken the NC yet. I hope and pray that one day, I'll have the strength to finally let go and erase those messages.

 

I tried to play those messages... but I couldn't. I felt the pain slowly creeping into me. I got scared that if I allowed myself to hear his voice once again, I might go back to square one... and I definitely don't want to be in that situation.

 

I don't know if I'm on the road to recovery right now. Like I said, I've been into a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I'm OK, sometimes I'm definitely not. I admit though that I still miss my ex... I still can picture his smile... I miss him smiling back at me. I still miss those happy times we spent together... I miss his voice. Just hearing his voice on the other line lifts up my mood... just hearing him asking me how am I doing and telling me to take care makes me feel so good. Those are gone... long time ago. The pain is still there. The heartache, the hurt, the what ifs, what could have, etc. They are still there... but their effect on me is not as bad as before. Am I on the road to recovery?

[sgold]

hey even I was in the current situation you are in now. I had a 2 month relationship and experienced the same stuff... we knew it wudnt work..though i liked him. I dont knw if i still hav feelings for him or not , but I dont like seeing him. sometimes I wish he wud call and things change. I knw he is not even wasting a sec thinking about me... anyways I could move on.. not totally though.. but still the days when I used to cry for him are over...

I bet the same thing wud happen to u too. hang in thr girl.. My ex always told me tat no girl or guy is worth a person's tears. I shud hav understood at tat point tat he was not so much into me.. Its all over now.

I am sure u will move on... its just a matter of time. U wud get someone better who appreciates you...

[shoerrific]

i know how you feel. my ex broke up w/me, basically saying that our whole relationship was part of a manic episode - leaving me to feel as if the whole thing was fake - at least from his end. he would've broke up w/me via e-mail if i hadn't called him first. after the 2nd time he left me (yes, i was stupid enough to go back), i was enraged and destroyed everything he had ever given me, especially the things that he said were symbolic of our relationship. it did help to let go of those things. they weren't just material - they were part of a time that has now passed and had once held sentimental value for me.

 

erase the messages. pack away the pictures. take everything related to your relationship and either get rid of it or put it out of site. out of site - out of mind - in time. it takes awhile, as it has only been a week for me, and although i've been alright, i do have moments late at night where my eyes will still water from the hurt. i have no desire to contact him. i have not yet erased the phone numbers from my phone, but i've made sure they're on the bottom of my list where i will hardly ever see them. they will be erased in time also.

 

if you have the opportunity to go out w/friends - take it. do things to distract you. it takes time and the amount of time is different for everybody. take one day to totally mope, cry, whatever - then move on.

 

i hope this helps in some way.

[deejay74]

the rollercoaster ride you're on is one that almost all of us here have ridden. you should read my older posts from this year, my rollercoaster was one heck of a ride and a very long ride too! so be prepared for some unexpected twists and turns - this is all normal and part of the ride.

 

and just so you know, my relationship with my ex was only 6 months, not much longer than yours. someone on here told me that shorter relationships are sometimes harder to get over than longer ones because you're left wondering what could have been and what the heck happened. i am sure you're going to be wondering many "what ifs". again, don't worry, this is normal.

 

if i were you, i would delete those messages without listening to them. if you hear them, it will set you back and you will probably feel worse.

 

keep up with the NC and take care of yourself. try to get rid of any triggers that would make you think of your ex.

 

being on this rollercoaster is a good sign you're healing. it eventually will smooth out and the rise and dips will become less and less.

 

take care.

[Chibby33]

Blane, you and I need to schedule a time tonight when we will both erase our ex's voice messages!!

[buylowe]

can I join you guys? I am new to the site, have been dealing with a terrible situation. I re-engaged in contact, after she ws so persistent, only to be let down and heartbroken again. I spent all day in bed today. I learned today that she is seeing someone new, after thinking that there was no one else in the picture. She said she is confused, but once I learned of this, I was so sick to my stomach that I told her to never call me again. This only made me sink further, but the thought of her with another man emotionally and physically after such a short period of time makes me question who she is. I have been unable to date anyone. We were talking about marriage. I had started planning the engagement!!! How could she moveon so fast?

[Blane151211]

can I join you guys? I am new to the site, have been dealing with a terrible situation. I re-engaged in contact, after she ws so persistent, only to be let down and heartbroken again. I spent all day in bed today. I learned today that she is seeing someone new, after thinking that there was no one else in the picture. She said she is confused, but once I learned of this, I was so sick to my stomach that I told her to never call me again. This only made me sink further, but the thought of her with another man emotionally and physically after such a short period of time makes me question who she is. I have been unable to date anyone. We were talking about marriage. I had started planning the engagement!!! How could she moveon so fast?

 

Hi buylowe! Welcome to enotalone!

 

I had another setback this weekend especially yesterday, Sunday. I tried to get myself busy and even shopped... but nothing really makes sense to me. The thought of my ex, all our memories together in the span of 3 months, all the good, happy ones and even the bitter ones just kept on crashing through my mind. To be honest, I had a little crying session yesterday.

 

Like I said, it's been a roller coaster ride for me since he broke up with me last August 21. Sometimes I feel like I'm over him or almost over him... then BAM!!! Another setback. I was actually thinking that part of what caused the setback are his voicemails that I'm still keeping... dearly. I just couldn't find the courage right now to delete them. I tried to play them last Saturday but I couldn't. Then the next day, I went back to feeling lonely and missing him so much once again.

 

I definitely am one of the forumers here who really believes in NC. I went NC the moment I found this site. By the way, my ex went NC a week before I did. I actually wish I could have found this site long before... so that mistakes I did have at least been prevented. But oh well, what can I do? It's done and over with... nothing that I could do to turn back time... so I guess, just charge it to experience. Just keep the lessons learned and hopefully it will make me a lot more wiser and smarter next time to deal with things like this. This site and all the great forumers here have really helped me a lot. Everytime I wanted to break NC, I just visit this site, either read a thread/post, vent about my feelings and/or situation, or PM some forumers I became friends with.

 

You will be OK. I know it's easier said than done. I'm still not a hundred percent healed. I'm still hurting. I surely am still on a roller coaster ride. But in time, I know I will completely heal. Be strong. Hold on. Just keep on coming to this site... a lot of people here will help you get through it.

[Choose2bHappy]

Hi Blane it's my chibby. Am sending you PM.