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Hi...please read...


bremex
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So...first of all my name is Brenda, I am 18 (19 in november), I've been a Coldplay fan since the 2001 (this is important for my story)...anyway...like 2 years ago I was googling stupid Coldplay links and this fan club from Mexico showed up, and i register and post a comment about how much I loved them blah blah blah...later this guy (Hugo) added me to the msn, he said that he liked what i wrote etc....we were talking for several months (nothing else, just chatting, having a nice conversation). When I was living in Mexico I always come and go to the Us (I was born here, and moved out to mexico when i was 7), so you can say that I was raised in Mexico, but without leaving the Us capiche?....so, one time I was at this party (in Mexico), and I saw this guy with a Coldplay tattoo on his neck...I was cazy and went to him, asked his name etc etc....What a coincedence that that guy was the msn fella (Hugo, yes i swear, he is from Mexico city and I am from Chihuahua, is like California and New York...kind off...) we talked and...sparks came in, it was one night, but it was so beatiful...he said that he was in my city cause he had a friend from there, so he visit him...

 

We continue chatting on msn, until I moved out (again) to the Us (San Diego)...suddendly he moved out too to La. It was sooo perfect..I swear guys...It was just wonderful, I couldn't believe that Mr. right was there for me..all I've ever wanted in a relationship and a guy was there...he was cute, handsome, intelligent, with great music taste, he liked the same things as me..(food, art, movies, music...everything!!!!).....we have different personalities (he is so calm, and patient, and i am this impacient, crazy freak), he nerver yelled at me, raised his voice, when we were on the phone and he had to do something, he passed me his cousin or nephew to not leave me alone on the phone, and then come back.... when i was mad he always calmed me down, or put some songs....he was the greatest kisser ever....he was on time, he gave me awesome gifts.....well...as you can see...i was in heaven with him...theres just one word to described this....PERFECT.

 

 

After a few months, I started noticing that he was never here with me on nights, and he was always on his mobile...(he finished his career in mexico as a engineer in some machines, he used to work in LG Mexico, and supposedly he was working with this american guy reparing the machines, and that this machines works during the day, so he was busy all night)...I believe him of course....one night I called him, and his mobile ringed, he said.."wait"..and he passed me his cousin...and i passed him my cousin, we have the speaker on, and Hugo's cousin mobile ringed, he was saying..."no dude, not tonight, i don't have anything"...my cousin told me...dude he sells drugs!!!...of course I didn't believed it....

 

I started suspecting, and i begin to forming the puzzle, and one day I asked him...

 

Hugo, do you sell drugs?

Hugo-What?...erm...no..

Me- Don't lie to me please...your such a bad liar..

Hugo started crying, and he hugged me, he told me that he was working with the american guy, but the money wasn't enough, so his cousin "invited" him to the "job", and that he wanted to quit, etc etc...

I told him that once you are there, you never go out, cause you learn to win money "easily"...

 

Stupidly I was still with him...until he disappeared 4 nights, he was in jail...the police caught him...later some ghangsta threat him with a gun on his face....If i was watching the show COPS, I thought... * * * *, that could be Hugo...I realised that i was wrong, and that I loved him, but i was going nowhere...it was dangerous, and risky, I didn't wanted that...

 

I tried breaking up with him, but i couldn't...if he called me..I anserwed...I couldn't "deny" his calls, or his visits....i was so weak..so in love...

 

Until I told him crying....Hugo...I can't deny you....but I want to...you know this is not healthy or good for us...specially me...if you love me..stop calling me, blocked me, don't look for me....please...

 

We were both crying so much.....that was in may.....I haven't called him....sometimes i want to...but I can't...until last week..I sent him an e-mail, asking how he was, how's life etc....he didn't reply....I don't know how is he...he might be in jail and I don't even know it...even dead...and it scares the * * * * out of me....

 

But I can't call him....I must be strong...my parents don't know about this...yesterday i was listening some music, and I was quiet, cooking dinner...and my mom told me..."one dollar for your thoughts"...and then The Scientist came in....I wanted to cry, and scream what happened, but I didn't do it...I don't wanna tell my mom "who Hugo really is"....

 

 

I know I can't be with him...but I missed him so much...theres not one day that I don't think about him....each night I pray for his safety...

 

I am not with him because there's not love...but because there's no point....

 

 

And I am crying again....

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Girl, look at how this guy is making you feel. Honestly, I understand how much you love and care for him but you have to let him go. A part of you is always going to wonder where he is or what he ended up doing with his life, and yes, theres that slight chance that he could have gotten into some trouble.

 

Now, I had an exboyfriend who would do this same type of thing with me. He would get sooo drunk, and start walking, and who knows where he would go. I would be crying for 3 days wondering where he was until the next day he would show up at my doorstep. He was such a wanderer, he loved to walk for miles and get himself into trouble. But he was always ok. Thats when I finally clued in "he can take care of himself, he doesn't need me to look after him" and I let him go.

 

So what I'm saying is, Hugo is probably ok. If he IS in jail, thats probably the best and safest place for him right now. Maybe he will learn and change is life around. But its time for you to get on with yOUR life. You are 19, you have so many years ahead. Trust me, other guys will come and go, and you will eventually end up meeting the RIGHT one, I mean the REAL RIGHT one, but first you need to get over Mr. Not so right and realize that if he really loved you he wouldn't be making you wonder and worry like this. He would be there for you and would have given up the drugs for you. He wouldn't have gotten himself into jail. He would be there taking care of YOU.

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