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Absolutly lost


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I was with my ex for aroud 3 1/2 yrs on and off for the next 2 1/2 years. She was my first real girlfriend, first love. I've posted on here many times about this and received some great advice. Advice that I didnt always use because I was to stubborn to face the truth. My friends have also heard me time and time again and also have given me advice which I refused to accept also. Nonetheless I'm asking for any thoughts or suggestions you may have. It would be a great help and much appricated.

 

After are intial break-up she would date other guys but never had a actual steady boyfriend. She came back time after time and for some reason I always took her back. This re-enforced in my head that it was never really over. thereforeeee I had a real hard time letting go. About a month back she started to see a guy and he is now her boyfriend. It hurts like if we had never even been split up. I think of them sharing what we shared, sleeping together and everything in my head that I thought we would be. I try and not call her but I still do and she picks up usaully pissed at me and tells me how good her and her new boyfriend are doing and that there going on a trip together and so on. I know this all sounds pitiful to you guys but either way thats the facts. I think about it everyday, I try and pull myself out of it but I seem to yearn for her back so badly.

 

I know these thoughts are counterproductive and that theres only one solution and thats to accept it and move on. I feel so weak willed, embarrassed and hurt, I just want the pain to stop. I know I have myself to blame because I never let go, but I just dont understand why I'm so messed up that I can't.

 

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but I sit and think of her so happy in her new realtionship while I sit here feeling like my best friend, the person that meant the world to me is gone forever. I have no choice not to call her anymore, she said she'd change her number and I dont want it to get to that, I'm not a weirdo but I just feel so sick and tired of being sick and tired. This has ruined me for the past 2 1/2 years and now that she has an actual boyfriend I see that its really over.

 

I'm rambling now, but if anyone knows how I began to rebuild and get out of this hole I'm in I'd be so grateful for any suggestions. I want this all to stop, I cant believe that I let myself get to this point.

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Hey Biz!

This makes me because we've all been through it and it's hard man! You said: "This has ruined me for the past 2 1/2 years and now that she has an actual boyfriend I see that its really over"-IN YOUR HEART, YOU KNOW IT'S OVER-IN YOUR HEAD, YOU WANT IT BACK, BUT IN YOUR HEART, YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO MOVE ON! That is a CRUTIAL step in the moving on process...take that as a blessing that you realized that because a lot of us don't realize that until MONTHS after we have been feeling sorry for ourselves. I think you need to stop thinking about how happy she is and START THINKING ABOUT HOW HAPPY YOU ARE GOING TO BE! And I promise, YOU WILL BE HAPPY!

 

Trust me-I am probably the least strongest person on this website-I hang onto things like you WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE-but I'm happy now! I have a very rough breakup and I took things REALLY REALLY HARD, so if I can feel this way, SO CAN YOU!

 

I think you know what you need to do deep down inside and you need to trust that feeling-GET OVER HER (take as LONG as you need), and move on to things in YOUR life that are going to make you happy!

 

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

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