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Does distance really make the heart grow fonder?


Twin27
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I just got back together with my ex. we were together before for two years and it was the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. He is the only man I have ever been with who i can honestly say loves me with his whole mind body and soul. He always treated me like a queen. We were talking about marriage and having children together. Not to mention I have twins from a previous relationship and he has always been more a part of their life then their own father. He loves them and they also love him to death. We broke up over something stupid and we didn't speak or see anything of eachother for 3 months. One night I wrote a letter and spilled out all my feelings to him and then had a friend deliver it to him and he called me the next morning. At first he was upset, but now its like we have never been apart. We are both a little scared of getting hurt again, but we love eachother to death.

 

He is planning on leaving in about a month and a half to go commercial fishing in Alaska, because he has done it before and it is good money. He then is planning on going out to california to be with his sick grandma before she passes and also to go to school to be a helicopter pilot. the money he makes in Alaska is to help him go to school. He is gonna be gone for two years, and we are going to try a long distance relationship. I can't go with him because I am going to school right now. I really love him so I am willing to try this. My heart says to do it and my mind wants to scare me. I think it will be worth it in the end and I really truly believe we are meant to be. I miss him when I don't get to see him for two days so it scares me for him to be leaving for two months. He reassures me that he really loves me and wants a future with me, but everyone in my life that I have loved has left me. So I am terrified. I don't want to lose him too. I have heard many things about long distance relationships- good and bad. I know this is gonna be one of the hardest things I ever go through. I miss him already and he's not even gone yet. I want to believe that this will make us stronger and bring us closer together. I also hope the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" is true.

 

Does any body have any advice for me on how to cope with this? I thought maybe talking to others in a similiar situation might help this be easier for me.

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Absense diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire. ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French

 

welcome to enotalone. I like this quote, I believe it's true.

 

for many long distance couples, communication is key - staying in touch everyday. will you be able to talk to him everyday, either on IM or over the phone?

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Hmm. I wish I could tell you that this will definetly work out. It may, or it may not.

 

One thing I know for sure is that being separated for long stretches of time from the one you love is HARD and it is also a lot of work.

I have my own experiences with that: my ex and I were together for roughly 3-4 years, much of which had blocks of months of time away from each other. We did always make the effort to see each other between cities, get in visits, and the rest of the time we were 'at home'.

It was difficult and there were bumps along the way, but overall it was a good experience, the love was strong, and it worked.

 

Good luck. If you love him like this and feel you would regret not doing this, then I think you should go for it and just take things as they come. There are never any guarantees regardless of whether it is LDR or if you live right by each other and see each other every day. (which would drive me bonkers anyways).

 

A q: after the 2 years, would you two be living in the same place and would the LDR be over (as far as plans go now?).

 

The question of 'does distance make the heart grow fonder' ...my response would be "No. It doesn't. It only amplifies how you feel for someone to begin with and offers the opportunity for a new perspective." It is what you make of it.

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I'm not sure about when he is in Alaska if I will be able to talk to hinm on the phone or not. I know we will be able to send letters tho. But when he is in california, we will defiantely be able to talk everyday.Thank u so much for your response. It really helps.

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