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Shes having it rough...tips?


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Hey, I just found out that my best friend is going through a really rough time...She just found out that some of her friends got killed and on top of that shes in a big fight today with her mother and is getting close to being kicked out of the house...I know its taking a toll on her and I would really like to help the best I can...is there anything I can do to make it easier for her?...shes knows im always here to help if she ever needs it...But is there anything I can do to help?...I'm really worried about her...thanks

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I'm sorry that your friend is having trouble...It's really nice of you to be concerned about her...You say she already knows you're willing to help if she needs it, but here's the key: don't wait for her to ask for help, just do it! Pay attention to what she needs to do on a regular basis, and help her out with that. "What can I do for you?" is a bad question, she may not even know herself, and she might feel guilty asking you to do something specific. But if you say "I noticed ____, would you like me to (concrete action) for you?" it's easier for her to accept your help. If she doesn't have the time/desire to get lunch, get it for her. If she has a dog, offer to take it out for a walk. Return her library books for her. Not to say that any of those situations apply to her, but little everyday things like that are very helpful.

 

Also, you might want to try exploring different options in case she does get kicked out of the house. You don't necessarily have to talk to her about it yet, but think about possible arrangements, so if it does happen, you'll be prepared to suggest them to her.

 

And make sure to really listen to her...Some people want lots of company when they're having a rough time; others want more space. Try to figure out what she wants so that you're not overbearingly helpful, but always be available, which I'm sure you are...

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