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Flirting to Dating to Avoidance..


HurleyBabe6917
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This kid in my Career Center class and I became attracted to eachother. We always flirted in class and talked on the phone after school various times. After we ahd known eachother for about 2 weeks he asked me out on a date. We had a lot of fun. We went to a speedway, where his family races sprint cars, and hung out there. We watched the races a bit, talked in his truck, and afterwards, went back to my house and watched TV on my couch for a little. When he left we shared 3 goodbye kisses. Ofcourse that brought us a little closer. We began to talk a little more and flirted just the same. We even kissed in class at times when we were alone. The next weekend, we went to see * * * * * * * 2. We had a blast during the movie; it was absolutely hilarious [and yes, he paid for me.]. After the movie was over, we went and drove around, until i finally convinced him in to showing me his house. [he was scared i wasnt going to like his house because "it was being remodled and looked like a mess." so he didnt want to show me it.] We sat on his bed and watched TV. We kissed a lot, and cuddle a little. He kinda tried to go a little further, but i have good morals and had just gotten out of a 3 year realtionship [he's also just gotten out of one] so i didn't really want to yet. But he was understanding and stopped what he was trying to do when i asked him. His parents invited us to go with them to CiCi's [pizza buffet], so we did. When we got done eating, we went to the Holiday Inn to see hsi cousins. Then we came back to my hosue and once again watched some TV.

It's been almost 2 weeks since we last hung out. He's been kinda weird acting to me. He rarely calls me[he'll say he will, and then he wont. which totally bothers me. i hate when people say they will call you, then totally blow you off.], and it seems as if he's not really avoiding me, but being standoffish. I don't really understand what exactly is going on here. I don't want to "waste my time" but I do like this kid. Could anyone possibly tell me what they're thinking might be happening?

 

Thanks.

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uggg... it's frustrating. I've been there and so have millions of other people. you have a great few dates, things seem perfect, and then they *POOOF!* disappear.

 

my take is that you didn't do anything wrong. something has changed with him, but what, i don't know. maybe he got back with his ex or is talking to her again. or met someone else he might like more.

 

many reasons. don't worry, just be glad you didn't invest more in this relationship.

 

good luck

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i will confirm your assumption that yes, he is talking to his ex. they hang outand stuff. but so do me and my ex. i just dont understand how we could start getting close then it just gets to the point where it seems like nothing ever happened.

 

today in class he said to me"i dont understand why you get mad if i dont call you everyday" i dont get mad. i just like to hear from him, is there something wrong with that? he frustrates me so much. and im not used to this dating thing because i haven't been single in three years.

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its easy , you put him on a standoff by saying you dont want to go any further so until you give him the go ahead signal this relationship isnt going anywhere.

 

i told him i didn't want to do anything sexual yet. theres nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hoe. he knows i like him and i've asked him where he thought this was going. i've told him i wanted it to go farther[as in we become a couple].

i just dont want to do anything sexual before we're even a couple.

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i will confirm your assumption that yes, he is talking to his ex. they hang outand stuff. but so do me and my ex. i just dont understand how we could start getting close then it just gets to the point where it seems like nothing ever happened.

 

today in class he said to me"i dont understand why you get mad if i dont call you everyday" i dont get mad. i just like to hear from him, is there something wrong with that? he frustrates me so much. and im not used to this dating thing because i haven't been single in three years.

 

well.... I think that hanging out with an ex when you are not 100% over them is dangerous. remember, there are 4 people in this situation! you, your ex, him, and his ex. this doesn't sound like a good start for a new relationship.

 

it is possible they are reconciling or thinking about it, which is why he is distancing himself from you.

 

it's been my experience that most guys who are into you will find all sorts of little reasons to contact you each day. they don't play it off like you are jealous.

 

your warning signs are going off. listen to them!

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Umm... from a guy's perspective, I don't think the GUY has to call the GIRL everyday... If you call him does he hang up on you?? Or do you even try to call him?

 

Maybe you have expectations of jumping right into a relationship. Maybe all he wants is to "date" right now and see where things go.

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Umm... from a guy's perspective, I don't think the GUY has to call the GIRL everyday... If you call him does he hang up on you?? Or do you even try to call him?

 

Maybe you have expectations of jumping right into a relationship. Maybe all he wants is to "date" right now and see where things go.

 

i think you have a really good point.

 

but if he has been calling often and seeing her, and all of the sudden that has cooled down, something has probably changed.

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yes I do call him. And when we hang up it's normally either he's tired or im tired, or he's gotta do somethin or i gotta do somethin. But since I'm not positive that he's still interested in me, I ask him to call me [it shows me if he still is or not.] But even when i do ask him to call, soemtimes he doesnt. It just hurts my feelings. It's not like we have to talk for hours. All i ask is a few minutes of his time.

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This happened to me once. He ended up breaking up with me. Basically, he'd met another girl, liked her more than he liked me, and then decided to break up with me so he could start dating her. So his being standoffish was either because he was trying to figure out how to break up with me, or because he felt guilty, or.. I don't know.

 

So, I don't know. It could be different with your case, but.. I don't know, talk to him or something?

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aww annie you are so sweet.

you're right. i should probably just forget him. it's just kind of hard, even though we only shared so little.

and i hate it when someone says they'll call and totally blow you off. it's like a slap in the face. he always does this to me. i don't understand why people, typically guys, do this so often.

thanks for the great advice.

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should i ignore him when i go to school tomorrow, or should i act like it doesn't bother me?

 

You've already made the decision to move on, haven't you? Stop thinking about him, and start talking to other guys! You deserve someone WAAAAYYYY better!

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Well I guess I'll shut up about this kid now. He's back with his ex. What a way to lead a girl on, then drop her, and not even tell her why or that it's over with.

I had to ask him myself what the hell was going on. The only reason I found out he was back with her, is because I over heard soemthing him and another guy in our class were talking about.

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

yeah. i love my beauty sleep. jerk.

 

oh, and today in class.

HE ASKED ME TO HANG OUT WITH HIM THIS WEEKEND!

i mean, it'd be fun cuz he is fun to hang out with, but, he like dropped me for two weeks. i dont think he deserves my company. but i have a really hard time saying no, to anyone. and i don't see what it'd hurt just going to his house for a few hours. plus we wont be alone.

 

let me know what ya think PLEASE!

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