I told him to leave, want him back, but....

[SherriLi]

Hi,

 

Many of you know my lond sordid story about me and my ex. I'm starting to get confused with his actions.

 

We tried to get back together 3 times in the last 13 days. I never called him once, he's always come to me, or phoned me.

 

I have told him over and over again that i can't continue this relationhsip if h'es still talking to his ex. He choose to be friends with her. Said that he thought i was important enough at first, but then decided against it b/c no one tells him what to do.

 

Well, i missunderstood me. I asked him to put distance between them so we could work things out. He thinks i want him to end the friendsip.

 

But why does he keep calling me and coming over? He knows that i'm not going to back down on this, well maybe he hopes that i will? I WON"T THOUGH, i can't.

 

What I don't understand is that even SUndays conversation:

 

Saturday (we were back together) He accidentally called me # trying to call her after telling me he hasn't talked to her. I was furious and wouldn't talk to him, he tried calling 9x after that.

 

Sunday he came over and wanted to explain himself. I told him to go to her. He said he didn't want her, i said well if you don't then leave her alone and come home.

 

He said no. I said "then leave". He left.

 

Then out of the blue yesterday he calls me at home at lunch and asked me if i went to my appointment, i said no.

 

5 minutes later he was at my door. He sat down and made small talk, i could barely look at him alone, making small talk, it hurt too much to be in his presense. I caught him sitting there with his head in his hands looking hurt, like he wanted to say something, but didn't.

 

Then when i got home late, i seen that he called 2 more x and then he called me late when he was sure i'd be home. He asked about my appointment again. I said "look, i'm broken. I have no fight left in me so i am not going to deal with the appointment i'll take it as it comes"

Then i made it about us and brang up how he said i wasn't important enough. He denied saying it, i hung up on him. He tried to call back and i didn't answer.

 

What is he trying to do? Is he wanting me back? Or is he really just trying to help me with this appointment?? Can anyone one please try to help me? I know i have said that i am not going to put up with any more BS from him, and i'm not. The only way i'd take him back is if stopped contact with her. Is it guilt? I will not back down, i know i'm having a moment of weakness right now because i was mean and hung up on him, i want to call him and apologize. Should i do this? I'm afraid it might suck me back in.. and i'll bow down again. I don't want to. But i need to know what he's feeling

[Meow18]

You know what you want from him and until you get that, why would you even consider talking to him?

 

Even if he says he won't talk to her, how do you know for sure?

 

In my opinion, he should have only been given one chance. You can't keep making excuses for him because you know that he really doesn't want to end the friendship with his ex.

[Meow18]

I just went back and read some of your past posts. Honestly, you deserve better. He's lied to you and disrespected you so many times before.

 

Why would you even want to talk to him? If I was you I would want nothing to do with him. You deserve much more respect than that!

[robowarrior]

You must NOT allow a triangle affair, You need to be his nr.1, there shouldn't be any other girls exept you. Since this is not the case say to yourself STOP to here and no further.

 

DONT allow him to rip your heart apart, set a boundry draw a line and say to him, he can have that girl just let him leave you alone, go into NC and get yourself another guy who considers YOU as his nr.1.

[SherriLi]

Yeah, thanks guys, but its soo fricken hard to stay away! I know he's ripping my heart out, I know he's an ahole, i know exactly what he's doing to me....

 

Yet, i don't know why i jump when ever the phone rings, or everytime someone knocks on my door, i'm hoping beyond hope that it's him, waiting there... with that sexy smile on his face.

 

i miss him soo much, i just can't get him out of my head, especially because he calls or tries to come over every day.... I just break down and turn to alcohol and cry,, everytime he makes him self known.

 

I know everyone says keep busy. To go to the gym etc.... Thats impossible for me. I have two girls, and no babysitter except for daycare while i'm working. No freedom. Just stay home on week nights. Thats probably why it gets to me soo much, i am forced to sit in our empty house every night. Looks like i just moved in after he took all his stuff out... so bare....

[river dog]

No freedom. Just stay home on week nights. Thats probably why it gets to me soo much, i am forced to sit in our empty house every night.

 

Yep, that'll do it. That way he is the only fish in a very, very small pond.... your head (no offence). I know the feeling. No kids, but I live in a very small village in the mountains. Try and make one night a week to get out and meet people. At least that, for yourself?