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Is there a second chance??


AdamSu
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hi, im 18 and in college......a girl added me on myspace and we started talking online (instant messaging) the first night we talked for only 2 hours or so becasue it was late and she needed to goto bed....the second day, i came home from school , ate dinner, and started talking to her from 5:00 till 12:00 non-stop....for 7 hours we talked and talked about god knows what...i honestly dont remember....we had a such a great time talking online we decided to meet in person. since she goes to the same college we meet up in a common place at school...i was walking her to work..right down the road...and descided since we hit it off so well i should try and kiss her....she didnt seem to mind at first but pulled away quickly....when i got home she messaged me and told me she didnt want to goto the movies the next day like we had planed....after a while of talking she admited that she got "Freaked out" because of the kiss and she changed her mind.....i took her to the movies(friday) and we hung out afterwards for about 3 hours(Didnt make any move)....the second "Date"(tuesday) we w're supposed to goto the movies again...but she canceled Literaly last minute ...she said she had a stomach ache...and i told her that we wouldnt be able to hang out till about 8 more days because of my job and school....she later imed me and went to play pool and we hung out afterwards for a few hours also(Didnt make any move). ...just today(wednesday) i was texting with her when i was at work and i asked her if we could hang out in thursday...she said she couldnt(No reason given)...then i confirmed what i already knew by asking if she had plans for friday(she told me before that she did..just making sure and she said she had plans but would visit me at work because she would be in the area...then i asked about sunday even tho she knew i had plans witha friend thta i told her i was willing to cancel.... later today i came home and she messaged me tell me that she dosnt want a relationship and shes nota comitment person....

 

i dont believe her...i think i just texted her to many times and came of as "Clingy"?

 

i dont want that to be the end..she still said she'd hang out with me...but i want a relationship because iv never felt like this twoards any other girl...

 

how can i get her to be attracted to me again?

 

By the way...sorry for the long post...i just wanted everyone to know the entire store ..

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Oh , and i forgot to say..i told her we couldnt hang out for another 8 days because i was thinking we w're going to goto the movies...and looking at my schedule ....we wouldnt be able to goto the movies for about 8 days or so....after the second date i realized we could hang out after work anyday really.....do you think she thought i was just saying that so we would hang out?...idk im kinda confused/frustrated/sad

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There's was probably some clingyness, but there might've been more as well. Like trying to push things too far too fast. You do smart not to buy her excuse of not wanting a relationship, it's just something to spare your feelings.

 

Come backs are tough, the best thing you can do is to let her know of your true intentions that friends just won't do and you only see her as more than friends and that's it. If she's not on board there's really nothing else that can be done because right now because she's already freaked out so you would have to give her some time on her own.

 

In the future, realize that there's a progression to getting into a relationship with a girl. You can't go from meeting her and then the next day be in a relationship. You have to find out if you both like each other, good and bad traits, and that can only be done over a little bit of time.

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Dont worry about her - shes gone now. Just move on and try to find someone else, and when you do, dont talk for too long on IM, that never helps.

 

Heres some info on what happened to you... (yes, it may seem wrong - it did to me too when I first heard it - but it is completely true and reflective of what happened with you)

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The second one is good to identify your situation.

 

Read all of this:

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If you want to avoid this situation again.

 

But seriously - DO NOT spend any more time with this girl. YOU WILL ONLY become more INFATUATED (not in love) with her, more OBSESSED and you will be unhappy a LOT.

 

There are plenty more women out there, so find the ones who dont see you a friend and work your magic on them =-)

 

 

 

How do I know all this? I finished going through it a month or two ago. It took me three months of emotional pain with the girl I was crazy for before I realised what had happened - you are lucky you know now, early, before it becomes too hard to let go.

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Thanks for ur replies. Im not going to really try anymore with her. Tho i do still want to be friends...as she does...because we really do get along and like being with each other. Who knows maybe it will be a great friendship

 

If you want more than friendship, being just friends will suck...

 

Just know that - and as soon as you start REALLY liking her, you have to break it off... for your own sake. Be selfish.

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